Page 47 of A Favor Owed

Always am.

I put my phone down and sigh. This is uncharted territory. For once in my life, I’m afraid of blowing it with a girl.

My sister says to go for it. My gut says to go for it. I guess I should maybe just go for it.

I get in my car and drive to the law school. I park next to the bike rack and spot Angie’s pink beach cruiser right away. Well, that’s a good sign. At least she’s here.

The university campus is brightly lit, and there are still students walking around and sitting outside on benches and patches of grass. I use my key card to gain access to the law library. The bored undergrad working the desk barely glances at me as I walk through the sensors.

I walk around the first floor, feeling like a total loser idiot as I look for Angela. She isn’t at her usual table. Maybe she went to get a coffee or a snack. Maybe she’s making out with some other guy in the stacks. Maybe she’s been kidnapped by… Oh, there she is. Silver-and-purple head bent over a book, face mostly obscured by her open laptop, long legs stretched out under the table. I try to get a handle on my rapidly beating heart. I’m not sure how she’s going to react to this.

“Doing some filthy stuff with Chen and Finkelstein, I see.”

She startles and looks up at me, her mouth open like she wants to say something but isn’t sure what. I drop into the chair across from her and shut her laptop screen. “What’s up, princess?”

“What are you doing here?” she finally manages to say.

“Running into a burning building.”

She stares at me, then shakes her head. “I can’t let you do it, Brady,” she says softly. “It’s not gonna happen.”

“I’m not worth that level of concern, Pines,” I say.

She exhales and looks at the ceiling, shaking her head.

“I’m serious,” I say. “I’m a total piece of shit.”

“Right.”

What would convince her that she’s being ridiculous about this? “I’m twenty-five years old and I’ve never had a girlfriend. Do you know why?”

“Why?” she says, in a tone that clearly conveys she’s humoring me.

“Because all I want to do is get laid and move on. I don’t want attachments, relationships, or commitments. I don’t want to go on dates, talk on the phone, or cuddle up on the sofa to watch Netflix. I’m a total dog. A pig.”

She shakes her head again, but this time she’s looking at me instead of the ceiling. “You tookmeon a date, you idiot. Did you forget? It was yesterday.”

“I fell off the wagon. It won’t happen again. I swear.”

“I can’t believe we’re having this conversation.”

“I promise we’re not a thing, okay?” I persist. “You don’t need to go MIA and avoid me and shit. I’m telling you, I’m not worth the effort.”

She stares at me. I realize that her face is pale and her eyes are red, like she’s been crying. Seeing her like that gives me another one of those punches to my gut.

“What’s wrong, Angela?”

She sighs and starts packing up her stuff. “Nothing,” she says quietly. “Let’s go.”

Something’s up, but I have a pretty strong feeling Angie won’t tell me unless and until she really wants to. I grab her backpack, and we head out. When we get to the garage, I put her bike in the back of my car.

“You’ve really never had a girlfriend?” she asks as we pull out of the garage.

“Not since Patti Vanegas freshman year of high school, no,” I say. “Not one.”

“Why don’t you want dates and Netflix and commitments and all that?”

I shrug. “I don’t really know.” I have a theory, though, and it’s the same as Siobhan’s—I have commitment issues. Maybe losing someone who was my whole world when I was a kid did it. Who knows? For whatever reason, the relationship thing isn’t for me. I have my family, and I get some action, and that’s all I need. “It’s like I said, Pines. I’m just a dog.”

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