Page 73 of A Favor Owed
She turns on the lamp next to the bed. I cover my eyes with my arm.
“Hey,” she says, her hand on my face.
I move my arm away and open my eyes. It takes them a few seconds to adjust to the dim light, but when they do, when I see Angie looking down at me, words and breath leave me.
“They’re brown,” she says shyly.
“You like the blue better, huh?” she says when I don’t say anything. “I can put the contacts back—”
“Don’t.” I hold her by the shoulders, not letting her go anywhere. Her eyes are the most beautiful color I’ve ever seen, brown with gold in the center.
“They’re beautiful. They’re incredible. They’re—” I swallow. “Angela, this is the color they are when I dream about you.”
“It is?” she whispers.
“Swear to God,” I whisper back, unable to take my eyes from hers. When hers fill up with tears again, I don’t try to stop them. I just watch as they spill over, mesmerized by the brown and the gold, by the truth, the reality of her. I brush some tears away with my thumbs, I kiss away some others, but mostly I just watch, until she buries her face in my neck and silently cries.
“Why are you sad?” I ask, stroking her hair. “Everything’s okay.” Everything is a complete goddamn disaster, but I’m not going to let her know that.
“I’m happy, believe it or not,” she says, her voice muffled against my skin. “I’m relieved. I wanted you to know.” She sniffles. “My hair’s brown, too.”
“I know.”
“Please tell me you know that because you’ve seen my roots.”
“I told you, Angela. There is nothing you can tell me about yourself that would make me run from you,” I say. “Nothing.”
“You should, though. If you knew who I am and where I come from, you would be running.”
“I know enough. And it’s not gonna happen.”
She sighs and rests her head on my shoulder. “You told me you didn’t know anything about me,” she says. “Were you lying?”
“I’ve never lied to you.”
“But you know some stuff.”
“I didn’t know the important stuff. I didn’t know who you were for real, under the hair and the eyes and the bullshit. But ever since I laid eyes on you, I’ve wanted to know. That wasn’t supposed to happen.”
“Are you FBI?”
“No.” I roll on top of her and grab her chin. “And stop asking questions. I’m telling you right now, you don’t want to know the answers.” I kiss her.
“DEA?”
“Shut up, Angela,” I warn. “And no. I’m not a fed, so don’t even think about going through the entire alphabet soup.” This is going to take more than kissing. I have no desire to hurt her again, but I’m at a loss. This is not ending today. We’re just getting started.
“I owe you big time,” I say. “Are you too sore to go again?” I slide a couple of fingers inside her, and she winces, but then she groans and clenches around me, soaking wet.
“I—I don’t know—”
“You’re fine,” I cut her off, quickly grabbing another condom. “We’ll go slow.”
“Um…okay…”
It’s a desperate act of distraction, but I do slow down, and I’m way more careful than I was the last time.
“Am I hurting you? No lies.” She’s biting that lip again.
