Page 32 of Penance

He blinks, slowly, pushing his hand back through his hair, the black strands sticking up all over the place as he stares at me. I mask myself, refusing to let him see everything I feel. But I must not do a great job, for one second he’s staring at me like he wants to knock my teeth out and the next he’s smirking. A tiny tic at the corner of his mouth, his top lip curling before a full-on cocky smirk takes over.

“You’re jealous,” he huffs a laugh.

The words prickle me, like poison burying beneath my skin, irritation cold and icy working through my veins.

“Kacey, you’re jealous and you’ve actuallygotthe girl, you’re so fucking dumb, man,” he chuckles, the sound so dismissive, I feel the growl starting in my chest.

Squeezing the apple in my hand so hard it bursts into pieces, fruit and juice scattering across the floor as I fly up from my seat. A snarl escapes my bared teeth, my chest rising and falling rapidly as I work to keep myself calm. It’s one thing to admit to myself that I’m jealous, it’s quite another for him to say the words out loud, manifesting them into reality.

I don’t like feeling vulnerable, this isn’t me at all, but I’ve also never felt competition with one of my brothers before either, especially not over a woman. But then, Kyla-Rose, she’s so much more than that. She’s the other half of me, completes me, holds me together and calms my demon, petting him into submission. I’ve never felt so protective of someone before. I feel this innate need to curl my thick arms around her, pull her in so tightly to my chest that we merge together. Keep her barred inside a prison made of bones, my life the only thing she needs. There would be no safer place for her than with me. I can keep her safe, Iwillkeep her safe, even if it’s from herself.

Nox squares off, legs spread, shoulders raised, his fingers flexing, curling and uncurling into fists by his sides. His square jaw ticking, teeth grinding.

Just two lions fighting over the top female, both needing to rut into her after tearing the other’s throat out.

I take a step closer, my demon demanding I prowl, we circle each other like we do when we spar in the ring. His practised stance matching mine as we face off in the living room, a single light on, the city at my back. The deep indigo sky casting shadows, clouds hiding the bright glow of the moon.

“You know what, you should be jealous, Kace,” Nox taunts.

His full lips twisted into that ugly smirk, the one he uses when he knows he’s already bested his enemy.

“I will take her from you,” he shrugs, “from youboth,and she’ll come willingly. She was born for me, built for me, we slot together perfectly, everything about her sings to me. Her soul is the other half of mine. Always has been, always will be. She may befuckingyou, she may even lie and say shelovesyou, she may even believe it,” he snorts a laugh and I flex my fists. “But it’s always been me,willalways beme.You’re just a big body to warm her bed and satisfy her cunt. You know that when it finally comes down to it, because it will, she’ll choose me. I’m branded in her very essence. Her and I are the fucking finish line, we’re everything you’ll never have together, becauseyou’re. Not. Me.”

And then I lunge.

My body springs from the floor, leaping at him, my fist sailing into his smug face. His head snaps to one side as I smash my fist into his jaw, once, twice, three times. And then he flies right back at me, his knuckles pounding into my face, my top lip splitting, blood filling my mouth. I lick it off, swallow it down, it only adds fuel to the fire. Hooking my foot behind his leg, I tug him forward, but he doesn’t falter. He grips my bicep with one hand, smashing his forehead into my nose. As he pulls away, I slam my fist into his ribs and headbutt him right the fuck back. Blood pours from our faces as I shove him, he goes willingly, separating himself from me, we continue to circle one another.

“How’s it feel, Kace? Always being second best? Never quite good enough, are ya, man? Kyla-Rose wouldn’t even take you this time without throwing your fucking wingman in the mix,” he laughs, the sound accompanied by a slight gurgle at the back of his nose.

I could cause him more damage than he ever could me. I held back, but he’s riling me up and I feel my control slowly snapping. I breathe through my mouth, blood trailing down the back of my throat.

“I’m her fucking beginning, middle and end.You? You’re a temporary bus ride, like she wanted to get the train, but the service was interrupted so she had tosettle,” he hisses the final word and I snap.

I rush him. My shoulder slams into his stomach, knocking the wind from him. He grunts, his hands fisting my shoulders as I lift him up and slam him down. My body crushes his, his head smacking the floor as we drop down. My thighs either side of his, I straddle him, pummelling my fists into everywhere I can. He blocks me more than retaliates but I’m that much bigger than him, broader, taller, stronger. I see red, beating every inch of him I have access to until his whispered words cut through my rage.

“She doesn’t love me, man. She’s just not that goddamn stupid, Kace.”

I rear back, breathing hard, my knuckles and face bleeding, my chest heaving as the red mist evaporates. I look down at my brother, his face busted, blood smeared across his chest. I climb off him, rolling onto my back beside him.

“You didn’t mean any of that, did you?” I ask, already knowing the truth.

He chuckles, groaning at the pain in his side from the action.

“You know I didn’t,” he tells me honestly. “You feel better for that, man?” he asks me, and I snort.

“No, I’m gunna get my arse beat tomorrow for busting up your pretty face, you arsehole.”

I roll my eyes, turning my face to look at Nox.

“Why’d you do that?”

“’Cause you needed it,” he shrugs casually, turning his head to face me. “You’re my brother and you’re hurting. Iknowyou. Plus, I deserve it,” my former platoon leader tells me earnestly.

I slump against the floor heavily, my body going limp, melting into the wood.

“Don’t take her away from me,” I hush, vulnerability dripping from every word.

Because he could, if he wanted to, I know it.

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