Page 75 of Penance

“Last night, you didn’t come to bed,” I whisper.

My eyes staring up into his, not understanding how these things are supposed to go.

“I went to the gym with Cam, I needed to hit something, and I didn’t wanna upset you by messing up pretty boy’s face.”

“But you did hit him, Kace,” I say quietly, confusion still steadily working through me.

“Well, yeah, he fucked my girl, but I didn’t kill him,” he shrugs nonchalantly.

I can’t help the small smile tilting my lips.

“You’re my girl, and he’s my boy. I want him on board, I do. I want it to work, the way it works with you, me and Huxley.Fuck,I encouraged it. I’m just jealous. And I’ve never really been jealous before, so I don’t really know what I’m supposed to do with all this- this anger,” he sighs heavily again, dropping his face to the crook of my neck.

I exhale a soft breath, my tense shoulders relaxing a little.

He’s not going anywhere.

“Kacey,” I murmur, running my fingers through his flop of sandy blonde hair. “You share me with Hux, and you’ve never got upset like this before,” I say softly, his grip on my hip tightening as I gently claw over his scalp.

“Me and Huxley were on the same starting line. Nox has like twenty fucking years on us and it’s not- we aren’t on equal footing anymore, are we? He’s so far ahead, we’ll be playing catch up for like, well, our whole lives.” He looks up at me, my fingers twisting in his hair.

“I love you. Do you love me, Kace?”

“You know I do,” he murmurs, making me smile.

“Do you trust me?”

“With my life,” he answers without hesitation.

“I willneverloveanyonemore than I love you.” I swallow, his eyes flicking between my own. “I love you. You were-” I swallow hard, averting my gaze to steel my spine. “You were the first man I’ve had sex with, that I wanted to, since Max. Someone I had actual feelings for. Do you understand what I’m saying to you, Big Man?” I blink up at him. “I choseyou, no one else, just you. You caught me when I was falling and I would choose you again.Every single time. You make me feel,” I pause, looking into those beautiful gold eyes. “You make me feel worth it,” I whisper, the words clawing their way out. “You made me feel, feel something, for the first time in a long time. It wasyou,Big Man. You made my heart beat, you resurrected this dying, broken girl. You gave me life, Big Man. You gave memeback.I will love you for the next thousand years, and the thousand after that and after that. I will stalk you through shadows, hunt you down day or night. You own a piece of me, Kace. Mind, body and bleeding fucking soul. You are it for me. So, please, don’t ever leave me.” I swallow nervously.

My heart thunking like a slow hammering gavel in a courtroom, Kacey holding it in his big hands, deciding my fate. A life sentence spent together or my death.

I’m throwing it out there, pure vulnerability oozing from me. But I do, I love him so much, I’ll bare myself to him in my rawest form if that’s what it takes. I need him to see what he means to me.

“Sweetheart,fuck,you have no idea, do you?” he laughs humourlessly.

Drawing back from me, his hips still holding mine flush to the door.

“What?” I whisper, anxiety tightening my spine.

“God, Kyla-Rose. When I first laid eyes on you, I just knew, mysouljust knew. You were the stranger it recognised. I’d do anythingfor you,anything.You wanna lock a collar around my neck, drag me around on a lead? Do it. Whatever the fuck you want or need, I’m gunna get it for you. I’ll pluck the stars out of the sky and trap them in a jar, so you never have to live in the dark again. I’ll take out your enemies and bring you back their hearts. I’ll give you mine. I’d drop to my knees right now, cut it from my chest and fucking offer it up to you. You own it, Sweetheart. I’ll do anything you desire. I love you more than I could ever love anything. You’ve infected me like the sweetest poison, you’re all I think about. You’ve got inside me so deep, baby girl, I’d have to turn myself inside out just to find the littlest shards of you. I’m not going any-fucking-where.”

I swallow, his eyes moving between my own, his hot breath against my lips, I let my eyes slip closed. Exhaling a long breath. The backs of my eyes prickling, I lick my lips.

“Please don’t punish me like that again,” I say quietly, thinking of how painful it was not to have him hold me last night.

“I won’t, it wasn’t my intention, and I’m sorry for that,” his deep voice rumbles earnestly.

“You swear it, Big Man?”

“I swear it, Sweetheart. Look at me.”

I open my eyes, his hand cupping my jaw, thumb caressing my cheek.

“No more, I promise. I’ll get my shit together, I’ve got it together, I want this to work, it’s not ayouproblem. It’s just ameproblem, I’ll fix it,” he promises.

I arch up on tiptoes, my lips pressing against his, my eyes slip closed as I hum into our kiss. His lips open, allowing me entrance, I slide my tongue over his, slow, teasing licks into his mouth, his lips working against mine. His teeth nipping at me, his tongue gliding against my own. He draws me into his big body, my back arching as he slowly starts to fuck my mouth with his. My fingers slide up the back of his head into his hair, tangling in his length, tugging at his roots as he devours me with his lips.

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