Page 32 of Ruin

“Charlie, I’m always going to look after you,” she says quietly. “I love you.” She shakes her head as though she doesn’t understand what’s not computing in my brain. “I will always love you, Charlie. We’re-”

“Nothing!” my voice cracks as I attempt to shout. “We’re nothing, we can’t be anything! I don’t want you to love me, I don’t want you in here.” The items in my hands thud as they hit the floor, my fist slamming into my chest, over my heart, echoing through my bones. “I can’t fuckingbreathewithout thinking about you!” My voice breaks, her teeth bite into her bottom lip. “You infect me,” I spit lowly, her bottom lip trembling, but she doesn’t cry. “I killed my brother for you because I love you, but I’m not enough! I was never going to be enough. I’m never fucking enough! Why can’t you leave me the fuck alone?” I groan, my balled fists thump into my eyes, squeezed shut, black spots blurring behind my tightly closed eyelids. “Why can’t you just leave me the fuck alone?” I whisper it to myself, back rising and falling sharply with heavy breaths.

“Charlie.”

“Don’t,” I hiss, dropping my fists, squeezing my eyelids tight before letting them flutter open, gaze dropped to the floor. “Please,” I say quietly, my voice barely making its way up my throat now. “Don’t.”

I bend down, re-collect the items I dropped and straighten, not daring to look at her in fear of my heart breaking further.

“Please, Kyla-Rose,” I plead, my back to her. “Please,” every inch of exposed skin burning hot where her gaze bores into me. “Stay away from me.”

I take a couple steps closer to the archway to exit, and she calls out softly, “Do you regret it?”

I blink hard, my nose twitching, chin unsteady, “I’ll never regret saving you, Lala,” and I walk the fuck away without looking back, all so I don’t see her cry.

Chapter16

Ava

Legs burning, I shift on my bony thighs, my pussy throbs, pain and something else making me tremble in the cold. I shiver and shake uncontrollably listening to the many doors, I cannot see, close and lock. Meaning my owner,Charlie, is moving further and further away.

Never once has an owner ever given me their name. This feels different. My brain feels as though it is straining, my eyes heavy, thoughts moving like sludge through my skull. My shoulder pulses with pain, internal pressure making the joint scream, but I can feel my fingers again, wiggle them and curl them into a loose fist.

He fixed me.

Even though he was hurting me.

Raping me.

The first time.

But then, the next time, times, I didn’t want him to touch me. I don’t think. And then, I didn’t mind it so much. His voice infects me all the way down to my soul. Raspy and thick, cracked, he sounds strained, the words, the sounds, all of it takes effort, but I crave hearing it. When he says my name, calls me Baby Bird.

Identity.

Regardless of what he does to me. I’m still a person,to him.

A shiver rips up my spine, knocking hard over every boned disc. Anticipation and impatience for his return is all I can focus on.

I don’t know how long he is gone, but I am not sure I blink the entire time. Waiting for him to return. To me.

My ears prick, the first electronic sounds of approach.

Each door cranks open and clicks closed, louder and louder the closer he gets. I wait, impatiently, fingers curled around the bars of my cage. A place I have hated since I was placed inside of it by my last owner, but one, that now, since being here, feels like it’s mine.

Safe.

Even though one end of it is open now, anyone can get to me, I don’t think my new owner,Charlie,would share me.

Not like the others.

But then, my last owner didn’t like to share either.

Master’s wicked blue eyes flash inside my mind, his wide grin, the way he would laugh, raucous, loud, psychotic. All whilst hurting me. Torturing me. Burning me. Cutting me. Scarring me.

The freshest scars along my spine burn, thinking of the spiked wire he lashed me with in a rage. It must have been weeks ago, but at the memory, it feels as though they’re flaring to life. Water fills my eyes, shock forcing the tears down.

I do not cry.

---