Page 14 of Sick Like Me

He promised he would love me for eternity, in this life and the next, they weren’t the vows he was asked to recite when he took me, only hours ago, as his wife, so I know he meant them.

Caelus Carnell loved me.

And after this, when the last little piece of him is taken from this earth, I will kill myself to be with him.Them.

Tears track down my face as I feel Doctor Butler running his fingers down the length of my thigh, his gloved hand cold and overly friendly when he reaches my sex. My fingers curl into fists at my sides, my teeth gnashing before I bite into my lip, sucking the blood from the broken flesh and swallowing it down.

A sob hitches my chest, and I’ve spent years ensuring I never cry in front of this man, but it doesn’t matter anymore.

My entire body trembles, despite being tied down, the straps can’t hold back a bone deep quiver. Pain lances through my chest, my heart squeezing as I choke on my tears. I fought for so long to get my freedom, doing things I never wanted to do, following orders whilst trying desperately to hang onto my autonomy.

It’s all gone now.

The fight leaves me quicker than it should, the pain inside my heart echoing in my head, a thumping in my temples as I strain the tendons in my neck with my cries. I thought I was strong, I thought after everything, I could navigate the world and find my place in it. But I can’t do that now, not without Caelus.

Sucking in a sharp breath as something enters me, I go still. Frozen on the table, my eyes ping open, and I stare up into the bright white light overhead. The low humming buzz of the strip bulb is like a screech in my ears. There’s pinching, in my tummy, and-

The door ricochets off the wall as it smashes open, my eyes darting to the left to try and see who, but through my blurredvision I only see a dark shadow rushing across the space and tackling the doctor off of his stool.

Doctor Butler grunts, the thing that was inside of me falling away with his touch, and it’s like I can breathe. As though my head is pushing up above the rough waves of the sea, and I’m breaking through the surface of the water, inhaling my first real breath since I went under.

There are grunts and groans and fists on flesh, the doctor screams, and then he gurgles into silence. The seconds after that are long, and I hold my newfound breath to wait.

Is this all inside my head?

“Ozzie!” My feet slip off of the stirrups, my legs freed. Buckles clang and straps fall away and I’m hauled up into strong, lean arms. “Ozzie,” Cal breathes into my hair, his arms tucking me up into his chest, my toes just brushing the floor.

“I thought you were dead,” I sob, tears soaking into his t-shirt, my fingers clawing into his back. “I thought he killed you,” tears stream down my face, my sobs choking. Pressing my mouth to the bare skin of his neck, I inhale him, the dark, masculine scent of him, woody and deep calming my trembles. “We need to leave, we need to get out of here.”

Caelus places me on my feet, my entire body wracked with tremors. My teeth chatter, clanging together and I can’t get them to stop. Then he slips his t-shirt over his head, exposing all of his tight, toned muscles, obscuring my view of him as he pulls the smoke scented fabric over my own head.

That’s when I finally get a chance to look at him and gasp, “Cal,” I breathe, reaching up my shaky fingers to the cut in his temple.

There’s blood drying down the side of his face, black smears all over his face and arms. I swallow dryly, threading my other arm through the short sleeve of Cal’s t-shirt as he drags it down to my thighs.

“What did he do to you?” my lips quiver and my chin wobbles, and everything feels like it’s too heavy to move through, sludge filling my brain cavity.

“It doesn’t matter, everyone’s fine. Are you okay, Little Ghost?” he asks, frowning.

Smoothing his hands over my head, pushing back my hair, cradling my face in his big hands as my fingers move to his bare chest, my palm sliding over his heart so I can feel it beat for myself.

I nod, drawing in a shuddery breath, as I count the steady thuds.

“Words,” he whispers. Commanding, “are you okay, Ozzie?”

“I’m pregnant,” is what slips out instead, Cal’s fingers stilling on my cheeks. Panic fills me once more as I feel his heartbeat kick up, hammering now, kicking against my palm like it’s trying to break free. “I didn’t know,” I confess honestly, worry filling me “It’s not that I tried to keep it from y-”

Caelus’ kiss startles me, his grip on my face knocks my head back and his mouth covers mine with violence. Cal kisses me so hard my teeth ache, and I don't know whether he’s trying to make love to my mouth or destroy me. He dominates the kiss in a way that I can only kiss him back when he allows it, my tongue sneaking into his mouth to lick over his own. His lips maul mine, sucking and biting, and then he draws back so suddenly, leaving us both gasping, he presses his forehead to mine.

“Is it terrible of me to say I’m so happy?” he breathes over my lips, feeding me his words. “But, fuck, Ozzie, I’m so happy.”

Fresh tears lick my cheeks, and he’s smoothing them away with his thumbs, pressing the wetness into my hair.

“You are?” I ask.

My eyes flick between his own, vision blurred at our closeness but I can still see the beautiful colour of them, rich hazel freckled with deep emerald green. Mesmerising.

“I am,” he laughs, this choked, happy sound that fills my chest with warmth. “I know it’s not ideal, right now, but,Ozzie, Little Ghost, fuck, I’m the luckiest man in the world right now.” He smiles down at me, nuzzling our foreheads and I feel myself smiling too. “You’re beautiful, Ostara Carnell,” he breathes, smiling wider and staring at my mouth, “but you’re even more beautiful when you do that.”

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