Page 10 of The Wisteria Tree Cottage

Meadow didn’t mention that Bear ticked every one of her boxes too and not just because he was so good with Star.

‘I’m just saying that as long as the man you end up with is kind to Star, that’s all you can really hope for. It could take many years for Star and your new boyfriend or husband to develop the kind of bond she has with Bear, so I wouldn’t necessarily look for that.’

Meadow knew he was probably right but she decided to change the subject. ‘I’m going to be out a lot over the next few nights and I know she’ll be totally happy with you, she’s with you three or four nights a week anyway, but what should I tell her about where I’m going and what I’m doing?’

Heath clearly thought about it. ‘I don’t want to lie to her but equally I don’t think she needs to know that you’ll be going out with a different man every night, she might find that a bit unsettling. I think we tell her that you’re going out to meet some new friends, which is the truth. If it gets serious with any of them, then we can tell her you’re dating or in a relationship and we can arrange for the two of them to meet.’

‘I like the sound of that. I’m sure she would have a ton of questions if she knew and my answers may not always be appropriate.’

‘It gives you a bit of breathing space to have some fun without having to think about them meeting Star just yet, get to know them properly before we involve her.’

Meadow nodded.

‘And keep an open mind, especially when you’re dating men you’ve met online. You never know when and where the right man may come along.’

‘I will. And what about you? Are you not going to date again now you’re officially divorced?’

There had been quite a few women for Heath over the years. Meadow had been insistent about him going out and having some fun because theirs was never a real marriage anyway, but he had only ever had casual flings. She wasn’t sure if that was because that was what he was looking for or whether he didn’t want anything serious because of Star and being technically married. At the beginning of the year, he’d spent an incredible weekend with Scarlet, some woman he’d met and fallen instantly in love with, or rather instantly into bed with. But when he’d told Scarlet he was married she hadn’t wanted anything to do with him, which Meadow thought was a little unfair, Scarlet hadn’t even hung around to hear his side of the story. Although she knew what she shared with Heath was definitely not the most conventional of relationships and if Heath had said, ‘My wife is totally fine with me sleeping with other women,’ how many women would actually believe it, despite it being the truth?

‘I look at River and what he has with Indigo and I want that,’ Heath said. ‘But I can wait. I was with quite a few women while we were married and you had no one. I’d like you to find someone first.’

‘We don’t have to take it in turns,’ Meadow said.

‘I just don’t really like the idea of you bringing home a new man to meet Star at the same time I bring home a new woman. I feel that could be quite unsettling for her. Let her get used to the idea of you having a boyfriend and that it’s a good thing before I introduce her to my new girlfriend. That’s not to say that if I go out with my friends to the pub, meet a woman, I’m going to turn down a night of sex if it’s offered to me, but in terms of actually dating, pursuing something serious, I think I’ll put that on the back-burner for now.’

‘But one of these women you have casual sex with could turn into something serious if you let it. You shouldn’t push it away, we can figure it out. Star is a bright girl and she knows she is so loved, I think she will be totally OK with us dating, because let’s face it we’re never going to bring home someone who is a dick.’

‘If it happens, it happens. But it’s going to take someone really special to fit into my life. I don’t want to change the fact that I live next door to my ex-wife, that I have breakfast and dinner with you and Star almost every day, but not every woman I meet is going to be OK with that.’

Meadow thought about that for a moment. Had she ruined his life? That’s what her dad had said when she told him she was pregnant; she remembered how, in amongst the diatribe, he’d said that if she went ahead and had the baby she would ruin her life and that of the baby’s father too. Although she had never thought that was true. But even though she and Heath were divorced now, she’d never realised how their co-parenting arrangement would add a complication to Heath’s relationships that didn’t really need to be there.

‘Do you ever regret… what we did?’

Heath stopped dead and turned to face her. ‘Oh my god, no. Not for one second. Don’t ever think that. You gave me a daughter and she is the most incredible thing that ever happened to me. You gave me a reason to get out of bed in the morning, you gave me something to fight for, and I will always be grateful for that. She is the single most important thing in my life and I could never ever regret that. She is the best thing that happened to my brothers too. We were all drifting through life with no purpose, no hope. River had this big plan to build the treehouse resort but we’d never got off our arses to do anything about it. Back then, I couldn’t ever see a way out of our hole, the resort was a pipe dream, I didn’t think it would ever happen.’

He smiled as he thought. ‘Bear was building a website for it even though we hadn’t got a single treehouse built, he was always the optimistic one of us. He did research about how much to charge and what kind of facilities other places had. He was really excited, while River and I would go down the pub to discuss plans and then just get stupidly drunk. We were pathetic and hopeless and Star being on the way was the incentive we all needed to make it happen. She changed our lives for the better, all of us. And if we’d… told the truth I don’t think any of that would have happened. And I’m glad we got married. I know we never loved each other, not in that way, but if we hadn’t got married, if we’d lived separately and I just popped in to help now and again, it wouldn’t have been the same. We handled the sleepless nights, the feeds, the dirty nappies and the uncertainties and worry together. We raised her as a family. We were a team, we still are, and Star knows that even though we are divorced. I wouldn’t change any of that for the world. And so what if I have to aim high to find someone who will fit into my life rather than just settling for an easy life? It’s OK to have high standards.’

Meadow smiled at that, but then frowned.

‘But what about what happened with Scarlet? If you weren’t married to me that could have turned into something.’

Heath shrugged. ‘I met her the other day actually.’

‘You did?’

‘She seemed delighted that I was divorced, she said she’d call me. So far I’ve heard nothing. I will always wonder if she was the one that got away, I felt we had this incredible connection but maybe what we really had was great sex. And who knows how that relationship would really pan out. Maybe she didn’t run because I was married but because I had a daughter, in which case that relationship would have been very short-lived and she clearly wasn’t the one at all. I have no doubt that my perfect match is out there and maybe it’s Scarlet and maybe it isn’t but when the time is right I’m sure we will meet.’

Meadow smiled at that utter confidence of finding that perfect person. She wished she shared that attitude.

CHAPTERSIX

Meadow poked her head around Star’s bedroom door to see she was fast asleep, sprawled across the bed like the starfish she adored so much. She loved spending her days playing in the woods or on the beach but she always went out like a light when it was bedtime, exhausted from the day’s exertions. Meadow softly closed the door and went into the spare room. Standing in the middle was a mannequin wearing a wedding dress and she couldn’t be prouder about how it was turning out.

She’d started sewing when Star was little, partly because she wasn’t happy with the choice of clothes available for little girls, which were mostly pink and delicate – not great for a little tomboy who had a love of climbing trees – and partly because she wanted some time just for her. As much as she loved being a mum, it was a completely all-consuming part of her life. Sewing gave her a hobby that was just for her. What started as making clothes for Star and Tierra had progressed to making dresses for herself and then making dresses for other people too and she absolutely loved it.

This was her first wedding dress. She was making it for a local woman who was having a very low budget wedding and who had seen Meadow’s dresses online and asked her if she would be willing to make her wedding dress, which felt like a big responsibility. But it made her smile so damn much every time she was working on it. She carefully removed the dress and sat down in her chair, selecting a beautiful turquoise embroidery silk so she could start embroidering some flowers on it.

This made her happy, she could spend hours doing this. Going out and meeting new people was so far away from what she really wanted to do.

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