Page 49 of The Wisteria Tree Cottage

‘I wanted to talk to you too… about last night and our first kiss.’

CHAPTERTHIRTY-TWO

Meadow stared at him, her breath catching in her throat. She’d known they had to talk about how they’d matched the night before but she hadn’t been expecting a conversation about their first kiss. She looked around. It felt wrong to be talking about something so personal in a field full of people.

‘Come on, let’s talk over here,’ she said, walking under the shade of a huge oak tree at the side of the field, away from everyone else. The sapphire-blue sea sparkled beneath them. She turned to face him.

Bear took a big breath. ‘Last night, when we matched, I’ve been thinking about it ever since and why it happened and if you… Because I…’ he trailed off and shook his head.

Her heart was racing. Was he trying to tell her that he had feelings for her too?

‘Let’s clear something up first,’ he said. ‘On our date the other night, you said your immaturity prevented you from talking about our first kiss. Well now we’re older, wiser, maybe we should talk about it rather than dancing around talking about our feelings. You said you regretted your actions after we kissed.’

Meadow swallowed. ‘I do. If I could do it all again, I would never have acted the way I did.’

‘So you don’t regret the kiss?’

‘Not for one second.’

‘But you pushed me away, told me the kiss didn’t mean anything.’

‘Because I was an idiot.’

He let out a heavy breath, clearly not understanding. ‘Was it because of your dad?’

She shook her head. ‘Dad has left me with a deep mistrust of men, but I always trusted you,’ she sighed. She hadn’t wanted it to all come tumbling out but if they stood any chance of moving forward she had to be honest with him. She could never tell him the truth about Heath but she could certainly tell him why she had pushed him away.

‘Promise you won’t hate me?’ Meadow said.

‘I could never ever hate you,’ Bear said.

She bit her lip. ‘The morning after we had kissed, I bumped into Heath and he told me about your apprenticeship offer with Strawberry. I didn’t want you to stay because of me and miss out on an amazing experience so I tried to make out like the kiss was nothing when it had been everything. I dated other boys so you’d think you had nothing to stay here for.’

His eyes widened. ‘Jesus Christ, Meadow. I could never have gone, we couldn’t afford it. The money they were offering wouldn’t have even covered a shoebox in London. We were left some money when our parents died but most of that had been used to pay off debts and to help River go to university to study architecture so he could build Wishing Wood. When the offer came in, River offered to sell the place to get the money for me or try and get a loan but I didn’t actually want to leave home, not because of you, but because… I was settled here, happy.’

He pushed his hand through his hair. ‘After our parents walked out on us when we were young and we were raised by a multitude of relatives, life felt uncertain, unpredictable. And then when River was old enough to look after us himself it suddenly felt like we were in charge of our own lives for a change, we had each other to rely on rather than some relative who’d been lumbered with us. River had big plans for Wishing Wood and although I didn’t know anything about carpentry or building houses like he and Heath did, I was excited about being such a big part of my own future, of being in control of my own life. It was flattering to be offered the apprenticeship from Strawberry but I didn’t want it. And if you’d talked to me about it instead of making that decision for me, you’d have known that.’

Oh god, she had suspected he hadn’t wanted it after she had started dating other boys and Bear had still turned it down. She knew then she’d made a mistake.

‘I’m sorry, I was young and silly and I look back at that time and cringe. I was trying to do the right thing for you. If it helps I was utterly miserable because I was completely head over heels in love with you.’

He stared at her in shock. ‘You were in love with me?’

Christ, she hadn’t meant to say that but she nodded. ‘Yes.’

‘And you never thought to tell me that?’

‘I was going to. I was going to apologise for being a twat and tell you I loved you but then I found out you were sleeping with Milly Atherton so I figured you probably didn’t care.’

He frowned in confusion. ‘I never slept with Milly Atherton.’

‘No you did. I was gutted. Of all the people to sleep with, you chose the girl who had made my life a living hell throughout school.’

‘I never slept with her. I never even kissed her. Why the hell would I? She was an absolute bitch.’

Meadow felt sick, her heart suddenly roaring in her ears. No, this couldn’t be right. Henry, the boy she had been sort of dating, told her Bear had been sleeping with Milly Atherton. She hadn’t wanted to believe it then but her friends, Sally and Fliss, had backed it up. They’d said they’d seen him not half an hour before butt naked on the beach with Milly, clearly having the best sex of his entire life. Apparently he was shouting out Milly’s name, telling her he loved her. Her friends had laughed at her for being in love with Bear when he was busy sleeping with someone else and she’d felt small and insignificant, like their kiss really hadn’t mattered at all. But the whole thing had been a lie.

‘Is that why you slept with Heath, to get back at me for sleeping with Milly?’ Bear said, incredulously. ‘Stick two fingers up at me by sleeping with my own brother? Christ, that takes pettiness to a new low.’

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