Page 59 of The Wisteria Tree Cottage

‘I did. But you didn’t know I had feelings for her and now to find out why you married her, well my respect for you has just gone through the roof.’

Heath sat down on the sofa opposite. ‘What a mess. All of that angst and upset was for no reason.’

‘I just wish she’d been honest with me. I don’t know if we’d still be together now or whether we’d have lasted a few weeks, but it would have saved a lot of heartache.’

‘I can’t say I wish for the same. If none of that had happened, I would never have had Star.’

Bear sighed.

‘Meadow is going to wake up tomorrow and be absolutely horrified that she told you all that,’ Heath said. ‘Firstly that she told anyone at all and then to find out it was you, it will kill her. She was so adamant that you, River and Amelia should never find out. She was worried you would think she was deceitful and wouldn’t accept her and Star into our family so readily.’

‘That’s rubbish, Meadow has always been part of our family, even before we kissed and she got pregnant. This doesn’t change anything.’

‘I know that. But she will be mortified that you know. I think she’ll feel she’s let me down too. Maybe she’ll be OK that she’s told this faceless person who isn’t connected to our family as long as she doesn’t find out that you know. Maybe you don’t tell her who you are.’

‘You want me to lie to her?’ Bear said. ‘We’ve been chatting online for the last few days, how can I continue talking to her and not tell her who I am?’

‘I don’t want her to get hurt over this.’

Bear thought about it for a moment because he couldn’t stand for her to get hurt over it either. She’d carried this secret for eight years, it was clearly important to her. ‘I could delete the conversation. Pretend it didn’t happen. She’s always on the dating site when she’s on reception. Chances are she’s logged in to the site automatically. I know her password to log in to her computer. I could go there now and delete the whole exchange.’

Heath clearly considered it. ‘I don’t know if she’s drunk enough to forget a whole conversation and it’s a pretty big conversation too. She will be pissed to know we’ve gone into her dating profile and messed around with things.’

‘I’m not sure we have an alternative.’

‘OK, we’ll give it a go, but I think, after that, you fade away. Stop talking to her and she’ll never know it was you,’ Heath said.

‘I can’t do that. I need to come clean about who I am.’

Heath sighed. ‘OK, but leave it a few days to make sure any memory of that conversation has gone away. If she sees the conversation gone and believes that she didn’t write it, then maybe you can tell her then.’

Bear sighed. This felt so dishonest but he would do anything to stop her getting hurt.

‘OK, looks like I’ve got a conversation to delete.’ He stood up.

‘What are you going to do about Meadow? Will you tell her how you feel?’ Heath said.

‘Yes, I think so. I was going to do that tonight but then I got there and found she was drunk, so it didn’t feel like the best time. I’d decided to tell her tomorrow morning but it feels a bit weird to lie to her about who I am and what I know and then tell her I love her. I’m pretty sure she feels the same way, but I’m not totally sure. The lady in charge of these dating events said we have matched twice now because we love each other. I know we both loved each other back when we were in our teens but I have no idea if those feelings still stand for her or not.’

‘She’s never said anything that makes you think she has feelings for you?’

‘Sometimes I think she does have feelings for me and sometimes she’ll say something to make me dismiss it. We spoke tonight about how we both wish we were each other’s first time. And I told her when she was sober we would talk about whether she wanted to give us a second chance and she said she did but she was so drunk she could have agreed to anything and she won’t remember any of it in the morning. Star thinks we both love each other but I’m not sure if that’s just Star seeing what she wants to see.’

‘My daughter is very perceptive,’ Heath smiled.

‘I’ve wanted to tell her so many times but me and Meadow have a great friendship, I don’t want to ruin that by making things awkward between us if she doesn’t feel the same. We see each other every day, work alongside each other, have meals together. I’d rather have her in my life as a friend than not at all.’

‘No, I can understand it might make things a bit weird. But if it was me and I had been in love with the same woman for eight years or more, I’d want to know. With her being married to me and you seeing that we weren’t in a loving relationship, there must have been a part of you always wondering if you’d get another chance with her. You need to know, because if she doesn’t feel the same way, maybe you can finally move on once and for all.’

Bear nodded, Heath was right. ‘I do wonder if all these dating events we’re going on might bring it all to a head. The first date she went on the other night that she really enjoyed, that was with me.’

Heath’s eyes widened. ‘It was?’

‘The guy she was meeting turned up with his mum who was very disapproving of Meadow getting pregnant so young. The woman I was meeting was his sister, who also wanted to check Meadow out for her brother. We got out of there as quick as we could and, as that was technically her first ever date, I decided to show her how it should be done and we went on a date of our own.’

‘Bear, she came back in here after that date floating on air. Whatever you did, you ticked every single box for her. Maybe you hold off on that conversation until you two have finished all the dating events. Maybe during the course of these events, you prove to her that you’re the man she’s looking for. Leave her with no doubt who she should be dating without saying a word. And if things still remain the same after you’ve finished, tell her then.’

Bear thought about it. Maybe that was the way. He didn’t relish the thought of telling her and possibly getting rejected. He could hold off for a bit longer, give Meadow time to see him as more than just her best friend, but also a man she could date and be happy with.

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