‘I’ve got fifty-eight matches already,’ Meadow said.
Bear looked at her staring at the screen in disbelief. Why did he get the feeling that encouraging her to do online dating was a terrible idea? Fifty-eight men who could potentially be the man she would marry and it was only half past ten in the morning. How many more men would she be matched with before the end of the day?
And why had he agreed to go on dates with her? Talk about being a glutton for punishment. The very last thing he wanted was to sit there and watch her fall in love with someone else.
‘How can there be fifty-eight?’ Meadow said, scornfully. ‘As you said earlier, we only get one soul mate but according to Connected Hearts I have fifty-eight of them, oh wait, fifty-nine now. This is ridiculous.’
‘You don’t have to meet them all,’ Bear said and then regretted it because although it would kill him to watch her find her happy ever after with someone who wasn’t him, he wanted her to be happy more than anything else and he didn’t want to put her off finding that.
‘Isn’t that the whole point? If the computer algorithms have matched me with all these people, don’t I need to meet them all to see if we are destined to be together forever?’ Meadow said.
‘Honestly, no. That’s not really how online dating works. What is the percentage of these matches?’
She glanced at the screen again. ‘Some of them are around fifty or sixty percent match, some of them are in the seventies, one or two are in the eighties.’
‘If you match with someone at sixty percent that means there is forty percent of things you didn’t match with. That’s quite a large chunk that is not compatible with you. When I did online dating I would only really look at someone who was a seventy percent match or over to reduce the chance of meeting someone I’m not compatible with. So focus on the bigger percentages to start with. Then I’d read through all their profiles, their introduction, the answers to their questions, especially the longer answers, to get a sense of who they really are, and that will help you whittle it down even more. After that you might have five or ten people you would actually consider dating. You can start messaging them, chat to them online, and that will give you a really clear picture of whether you’d like to meet.’
‘OK, that makes sense.’ She started scanning through the profiles. ‘I haven’t got any matches in the nineties.’
‘I doubt you will. The highest I ever got was an eighty-seven percent match. I was really excited. But she didn’t want any children so I didn’t even bother contacting her.’
‘Yeah, that’s quite a big thing to disagree on,’ Meadow said. ‘You would make a wonderful dad. Would you be happy to date someone who already had children?’
‘Yes I would. But I’d want my own too. I’d love a big family and I’d be more than happy if stepchildren were a part of that as well.’
‘I wonder if me having Star will put some men off.’
‘I think some men won’t want to date someone with a child, but some of them will embrace it. Some men might even have children of their own. This is why you chat to the men you match with online before you meet them so you can find out if they tick the important boxes for you. Otherwise it’s a wasted date.’
‘How long do you chat to someone for before you meet them?’
‘There’s no rules. Just whatever you feel comfortable with. I always think it’s harder for women because for you it’s not just about meeting someone you like, you also have to feel safe. Always meet in a public place, don’t go anywhere alone with them.’
Meadow smiled and rolled her eyes at his overprotectiveness but he’d wrap her in cotton wool if he could.
‘Connected Hearts is actually really hot on safety,’ Bear said. ‘They don’t encourage you to give out your real name unless you are meeting them, same goes for any personal details like a phone number or your email address, all the messaging is done through the website. And if you are talking about your friends or family, they encourage you to give fake names so any scammers or weird stalkers can’t find you in real life. Did you give yourself a cool codename?’
‘Yes.’
‘What did you go for?’
‘I’m not telling you that, you’ll laugh.’
‘Why will I laugh?’
‘Because you will.’
‘Try me.’
She hesitated. ‘Iris Starfish.’
He smiled. ‘That’s… different. Why did you go for that?’
‘Irises are my favourite flower and Starfish because Star loves them. Heath said it sounds like a porn star name.’
He screwed up his face. ‘I’m not sure it does. But anyway, it’s better to be safe in these matters.’
‘You know, with all your doom-mongering, you’re not exactly selling this online dating malarkey to me.’