Page 7 of The Wisteria Tree Cottage

‘I’m sure you will be fine, but a little bit of caution won’t do any harm.’

She rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to the screen and after a few moments let out a heavy sigh.

‘Why are you sighing? Fifty-nine matches is a great start. The last thing you want is to have one match at thirty-seven percent and find out that he kicks puppies for fun. At least this way you have choices,’ Bear said.

‘I just don’t know where to start. I feel like I’m buying a car and I’m comparing one with electric windows versus another with a built-in sat-nav and I’m not interested in either of those things. This man enjoys cricket and says he has a good sense of humour. What does that even mean?’

‘Probably that he laughs at his own jokes.’

‘This one built his own model railway in his loft. That doesn’t exactly get me excited.’

‘Star would love it,’ Bear said.

Meadow smiled. ‘She really would.’

‘And it shows that he’s creative, has attention to detail and has hobbies. Everyone needs some kind of hobby, otherwise you’re just sat in front of the TV every night watching crap.’

‘So you think I should meet him?’

‘What percentage match is he?’

Meadow studied the screen. ‘Seventy-two percent.’

‘He might be worth having a chat with, if nothing else. You might find he’s lovely even if he is a nerd.’

‘I don’t mind nerds. I have a bit of a soft spot for them actually.’

‘Is that so?’

‘I love the smart techy types.’

Not for the first time, Bear wondered why they’d never got together. They clicked in a way he’d never had with anyone. His grandmother, Amelia, would tease him whenever they were alone that his relationships never lasted because none of them were Meadow. And there was some truth to that. What he had with Meadow was something special, something deep and powerful, and while it wasn’t fair to compare that with what he’d had with women he’d dated, he couldn’t help doing just that. Of course, his connection with Meadow was built on years of friendship and you couldn’t have that bond with someone you’d just met, yet every woman he dated, he always found himself looking for that special something he had with his best friend and was always disappointed not to find it. He knew he’d set himself an impossible goal, no one was going to match up to her.

They’d shared a kiss together, back when they were still kids, and, despite only being sixteen, he’d known then she was the woman he was going to marry. But she’d practically run away the next day when he’d asked her out. She tried so hard to prove she wasn’t interested in him, she’d dated a few other boys, but it almost seemed as if she was only doing it to push him away. Being the petty sixteen year old he was, he dated a few girls to prove he wasn’t interested in her either, which he knew had upset her. But before he could get to the bottom of it, she was suddenly pregnant with Heath’s baby and they were getting married. He’d hated her a little bit because of that. Sleeping with his brother had taken the point-scoring to a whole new level.

But then Meadow had gone into premature labour at thirty weeks while Heath had been away. Bear had rushed Meadow to hospital and held her hand while she had given birth to a tiny little girl barely bigger than his hand. For the briefest moment that Meadow was allowed to hold her before they whisked Star away to intensive care, she had looked at her daughter with such love and adoration and any hatred and pettiness had gone straight out the window. He’d immediately fallen in love with his tiny niece too and the hows and whys of who said and did what had no longer mattered. Heath had arrived later that night and the next four weeks had been a constant vigil at the hospital for all of them as they sat next to the incubator. Meadow had told the hospital staff that while Heath was the father, Bear was the stepfather so he was allowed to stay, although he wouldn’t have left unless he’d been forced to. Star had rallied very quickly and they were all allowed to hold her for short periods, being careful of the cables and monitors she was hooked up to. They’d all had to grow up and be responsible adults once there’d been a child to look after. Meadow and Heath were amazing parents and Bear had tried to share the load as much as he could. But those feelings he’d had for Meadow as a kid had never gone away and here they were nearly eight years later, Meadow freshly divorced and he’d kind of hoped that she’d leave one brother and fall straight into the arms of another, so her decision to do online dating was a bit of a galling one.

‘I’m sure we can find you a load of nerds to date,’ Bear said. ‘Us nerds are normally single. Most of them are rich too so they can take care of you.’

‘You’re single by choice. I’m sure once you reopen your dating profile, you’ll have hundreds of women messaging you. You’re the perfect man.’

‘Oh well, if you think that then maybe me and you should date. I’m definitely a nerd, love kids and puppies, I’m tidy, have all my own teeth.’

Meadow laughed. ‘If only life was that simple. Two best friends fall head over heels in love with each other. Maybe in a Hallmark movie that kind of thing happens. I don’t think real life is that straightforward.’

He swallowed. ‘It doesn’t need to be complicated.’

‘Love and datingarecomplicated. These are murky waters to navigate. And I don’t need to marry another man who wants to take care of me. I want to get married to a man who loves me so much he can hardly think straight. I want to be a man’s everything, his every breath, his every waking thought. I want a love that’s exciting. I know it sounds ridiculous and I’ve probably been reading way too many romance stories, but I want that big soul mate kind of love. I want to love someone so completely and utterly and have that love returned. I’ve never had that. I have no idea what that feels like.’

‘You’ve never been in love?’

‘Oh I have, it never worked out. I’ve never had someone love me.’

He stopped himself from telling her that he had always loved her. ‘I’m sorry my brother never gave you that.’

She waved it away. ‘Me and Heath have always been best friends, it’s never been more than that between us. I never loved him either, not in that way. I know you feel he let me down by divorcing me but I don’t feel like that at all. We should never have got married in the first place. And he will always be a big part of my life and Star’s so I’m never going to be lonely in that sense. But in here,’ she pointed to her heart. ‘That has ached to be filled for a long time.’

He stared at her. ‘Then we need to find you someone amazing.’

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