“Wait, what do you mean seven years ago?”
“When Dad got sick. You guys were around, but she sure as fuck wasn’t. Not once has she asked me how my dad was doing.” I thought MJ and I were close, but I’ll be honest, it hurt when she didn’t show any regard for what was going on at home.
“Bro, she doesn’t even know about your dad,” Austin chimes in as he scans the bar. He’s likely looking for the random tourist for a quick lay.
I look at Blake with my brows raised. “What do you mean? Of course she knows. You guys told her, didn’t you?” I ask. Blake raises his eyebrow. “You didn’t?” I inhale deeply. “Well, she heard it around town then, right?” I insist. Blake cocks his head to the side, but his eyes tell me he thinks I’m being dense.
“For all we know, she doesn’t actually know about your dad. She might know he got sick, but not how serious it was. And she definitely doesn’t know all that you’ve had to do to keep your family afloat all these years,” Blake shares. I’m shocked, honestly. But if she doesn’t know why then how could she be so quick to forget about me?
“Wait, what does she think happened then? Because I pretty much disappeared that summer.” Partially because of her and the feelings that were bubbling up but also becauseI had to put my head down and focus to keep the auto shop up and running.
“You’re so dumb sometimes,” Austin says as he stands up from his chair. Blake quickly grabs his arm and forces him to sit down. He whines, mumbling something about a “new chick.”
“What my brother is trying to say is . . .” Blake looks me in the eye and then shakes his head. “Nah, he’s actually right. You’re being pretty dumb right now.” Confused, I gesture with my hands for him to continue. “Think about it. What else happened that summer?”
I think back on the summer we got the diagnosis for Dad. I was sixteen, heading into my junior year of high school. Things were pretty normal. I shrug and look at Blake for clarification.
“Oh, my god, Mac. Remember when MJ showed up in her red bikini? And we all practically lost it?” Austin yells, and a few patrons look over at us. Blake apologizes for him.
“Well, not all of us lost it. She’s like my sister, even back then. But you two, I’m pretty sure, had a discussion about when she got tits,” Blake elaborates. I smirk at the memory and nod my head as it all comes back to me.
MJ showed up mid-summer in a red bikini that showed off all these new curves. She had always been pretty but add the body that she was growing into and fuck me, I was a goner. Maybe that was when the attraction grew from more than just intellectual. But I knew we could never be more than just friends, as much as I wanted more, even back then. It was hard being around her when every time I saw her in thatbikini, I would pop a boner and have to hide. Oh, shit. I look up at Blake with realization and he nods.
“Yeah, dude,” he confirms.
“She must think I hate her. Fuck me.” I scrub my hand down my face. “All this time and not once did you guys think to fill me in?” I ask my two best friends.
“We thought you knew. We thought you were just being you and going with the bullshit story that you weren’t good enough for her,” Blake says.
“I’m not,” I confirm.
“You’re the only one who thinks that, man,” Blake assures me, but I don’t believe him.
“That may have been true a few years ago, but now with the trial . . .” I shake my head. Now that I’m an actual criminal, there’s no way anyone would support me being with MJ.She’s too good, too pure.
“Wait,” Austin slaps his hand on the table like he’s just figured something out. “Do you still have feelings for her like that?”
“Fuck no!” I reply too quickly. Blake and Austin both eye me like they know better. “No, I mean. I can’t. It doesn’t matter anyway. She’s only here for the summer, and she hates me.” I sigh.
“Pretty sure she doesn’t hate you. She just doesn’t know enough to not be mad at you,” Blake tries to reassure me.
I take that in for a moment. She doesn’t know enough. She’s probably been mad at me this whole time, thinking I was avoiding her or hated her. And if I’m being honest, that’s so far from the truth.Fuck.
“How do I fix this?” I ask my friends. Because while I do still feel like I’m not good enough for her, I don’t want her hurting because of something I did.
“Tell her the truth,” Blake answers like it’s so obvious.
“Not everything. That’s not happening.” No way can she know everything. Not yet.
“Enough to explain why you went MIA to her. Maybe just start with your dad.”
“How do I even get to talk to her again? That run-in earlier today did not help her warm up to me at all,” I explain, desperation sinking in. To think I’ve been mad at her all these years for something she wasn’t even doing. I assumed she just forgot about me and didn’t care. But maybe she didn’t know she was supposed to. Maybe she was giving me the space she assumed I needed.
“You know MJ. Now that she knows about your case, I guarantee she’s going to find a way to be a part of it. Just try not to be a complete dick to her and see what happens,” Blake suggests.
I nod. That can’t be too hard, right?
Chapter 6