Page 28 of Jumping In

“I’m sorry, MJ,” he says sincerely. I nod, tears welling in my eyes yet again. Taking a deep breath, he lets go of my hand and I get up, heading back to the Jeep.

Mac beats me and opens the passenger door for me. I turn to thank him and am surprised to see he’s holding a purple wildflower in his hand. He looks up at me with a look I can’t decipher. A mixture of regret and sorrow, maybe. Reaching up, he tucks the flower behind my ear. His hand lingers near my face for a moment, almost cupping my cheek. My heart is pounding in my chest, I meet his eyes, which are filled with . . . want? We stand there for a heartbeat, maybe two, and then he drops his hand, taking a step back and letting me get into the car.

Sitting back, I restmy head on the seat and blow out a breath, feeling a wave of disappointment slide over me. Why am I even disappointed? Did I really think Mac was about to kiss me? We’re just friends, barely friends right now, honestly. I sigh and settle in, lifting my head to look out the passenger window and sit in silence for the rest of the drive to Cedar Bend.

Chapter 12

Mac

Myknuckles are white as I grip the steering wheel. It’s the only thing keeping me from putting my hand on her leg. From the moment we walked out of Spoon, I’ve wanted to put my hands on her, to touch her.

When I saw her eyes light up seeing the wildflowers, it was like my heart took over and I couldn’t help but drive off the freeway and down the little dirt road I knew would lead us right to them. She’s so fucking cute when she gets excited, and I want more of that for her.

She seemed so at peace out in that field, taking pictures, her face full of awe and wonder. It was fun and lighthearted to tease her about taking my picture, but when she took off running, my gut took over, urging me to chase her. For a moment, the playfulness had me wondering what it would be like if we could spend time together every day like that.

Grabbing her around the waist and practically tackling her to the ground wasn’t the gentle way I wanted to touch her, but she didn’t seem to mind. Hearing her laugh—laughing with her again.Fuck. I’ve missed her. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that. Her smile, her laugh, her energy are addicting, and every time I’m near her I want more and more.

She’s staring out the window and hasn’t said a word to me since we got back in the Jeep. I can’t tell if she’s mad at me or just deep in thought. I shared some deep shit about my family, and I saw the hurt all over her face. She probably thinks she could have helped me if she had known back then. But she couldn’t have. No one could back then.

She might also be deep in thought about that moment in the field. I know I am. As we were heading back, I saw one of those purple flowers she took so many pictures of. Her phone is probably shorting out from a lack of memory. I picked it, and immediately knew I wanted to give it to her. Tucking it behind her ear, being that close to her, I didn’t want to step away. I wanted to lean in and finally claim her lips with mine. But the doubt rushed in, and I stepped away.

I saw her face. Saw her suck in a breath. I could practically feel her heart pounding out of her chest and now I can feel the tension in the air. I fucked up.

The sound of the freeway hums loudly, and I continue to steal glances her way as we roll into Cedar Bend. Her eyes transfixed out the window, I navigate the town myself and find the bookstore easily. Parked, she finally turns to me. “Do you wanna—”

“So how does—” We talk over each other again, and I chuckle softly.

“Do you want to go in and I’ll go pick up my part and then I can meet you back here?” I ask her. She smiles softly, not a full smile, but it’s something.

“Yeah, that’ll work. Just text me if you can’t find me when you get back.” She grabs her bag and slides out of the Jeep. I watch her walk into the bookstore and make sure she’s in safely before backing out of the spot. The larger auto shop is down the street, so I head there to get the part I need.

It doesn’t take me long to get the part. It’s clunky and a little slippery from all the grease on it. Fuckers could have put it in a box for me but that’s what I get for buying indirectly. I grab a few towels from the “Emergency Beach Bag” that MJ has in the trunk and lay them down so the part doesn’t get her interior dirty. I laugh at the bright pink striped bag and shake my head. This is so MJ. We don’t live anywhere near a beach, besides the creek, if you can even call it that. But she always wanted to be prepared to hop in the Jeep and head out to the beach, even though it was a four-hour drive. I wonder if she ever did that while she was away at college or if she was just always prepared.

With the part loaded up, I head back to the bookstore, park, and walk inside. Looking down the rows of books as I walk, I head for the small coffee shop in the store. I order a peach iced tea and a black iced tea and grab a book basket before making my way toward the Young Adult section.

Sure enough, I spot MJ with a few books in her arms. Wordlessly, I gesture to her to take the tea from me and then I take the books from her and place them in the basket. She smiles and takes a sip. “Mmm, thank you.”

“No problem.”

Still holding the basket, I trail her as she peruses the shelves. A few catch my eye, and memories of us reading them together flood me. As if reading my mind, MJ grabs a familiar tome and turns, showing me the cover. “Do you remember reading these together that summer?” Her eyes light up just like they did almost ten years ago, and I nod.

“Of course I remember. There were so many storms that summer we spent most days inside. We finished the series in less than a week.”

She smiles and nods, putting the book back on the shelf. More titles catch my attention, some I’ve read, others I haven’t. I pay attention to the books she pulls down in contemplation but then shakes her head and puts back. Either she changed her mind or doesn’t want to spend the money today. Noted.

She gets to the hardback section and pulls out one of my favorite books I discovered last year,Divine Rivals. It’s the first in a duet and the writing was phenomenal. The story sucked me in quickly and I’ve read it multiple times because it keeps pulling me back in.

“Have you read this one?” She asks, her smile full of hope.

I nod. “Yeah, like twelve times at least.”

“Oh,” her body sags. Fuck. Was that the wrong answer?

Trying to save myself, I offer, “I could always read it again? I hear thirteen is a lucky number.” She looks up at me again and her eyes sparkle with interest.

“Will you annotate it for me?”

“Abso-fucking-lutely. I would love to.” I take the book from her and plop it into the basket with the others.

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