Page 32 of Jumping In

She opens her arms for a hug, and I oblige. “You got this, Mac. I think it’s all going to work out better than you think.” I hug her tighter, her smaller frame easy to wrap my arms around.

I step out into the muggy night air and jog across the street back to the shop. Turning back, I wave one more time and then watch as she turns the light out. I grab my backpack off the couch and head upstairs. Another night I’ll be spending in the loft. Finding a pen on the dresser just inside the loft door, I pull out the book MJ asked me to annotate and plop onto the bed. It’s gonna be a long night, but hopefully worth it.

Chapter 13

MJ

June 20

Thursdays have become my days to hang out with Shannon, and today we’re going to have some girl time by the creek. The time is much needed since I haven’t been able to fully debrief her on the time I spent with Mac on Sunday. I’ve only seen him once since then—on Monday, when he had another meeting with my dad. We didn’t talk much though, and it was kind of awkward.

I hit the bottom of the stairs and the banister squeaks under my hand as I use it to propel myself to the front door. Shannon is waiting out front and we cut across the yard to the little trail leading down to the creek.

Halfway down the hill, I’m huffing and puffing, but Shannon seems to be just fine. This walk must be easy for her. “So, are you gonna fill me in on what happened on Sunday, or do I have to pry it from you?”

I laugh and shake myhead. “No, I’ll tell you, just,” I take a breath. “Let’s get down by the water and then I’ll tell you all about it.” She nods and we continue down the hill.

Finally, making it to the campground area, we both place our bags down on the picnic table. I stretch, trying to catch my breath, and take in my surroundings. Birds are chirping. The water is rushing down below. This really is my happy place. Smiling, I pull out the small picnic I packed and lay it out on the table while Shannon does the same.

We sit down to eat, and I finally spill my guts about Sunday. From the wildflowers to the bookshop, all of our heavy conversations, everything.

“He was really pushy about law school though, like he couldn’t believe I hadn’t even applied yet.” I take a sip of my water and Shannon nods.

“Do you blame him? That’s all you would talk about when we were in high school. It was always law school for you.” I nod in understanding. “Why haven’t you, really?”

I gulp down more water, buying myself a few precious seconds to think about my answer. It’s a great question, one Mac asked me and I skirted around. Truthfully, I think it’s a lot of reasons. Law doesn’t feel like the right fit for me. I struggled a lot at Caracrest, and I don’t even know if I would get into law school, let alone graduate. Since being back home, Shannon and the guys have nudged me here and there, giving me the idea there might be something else out there for me besides being a lawyer.

Law has always been the thing I would do. It was a given. Brad is a lawyer, but he didn’t want to take over the family business, he didn’t want to be stuck in Oakridge and much prefers the larger city. I always figured it would be up to me then to take over, but if I’m being honest, I don’t love it. It’s not exciting. Law is actually downright boring to me. Do I want to be a lawyer? No offense to my dad or my grandpa, but I don’t want that life. I want excitement. Law has always been shades of gray, but I want a life filled with adventure and fun and beautiful colors. I want to help people see the beauty in life and I don’t know if I can do that as a lawyer.

“Em?” Shannon pulls me out of my thought spiral.

“Sorry, Shan. Honestly, I don’t know if I want to do law.” I blow out a breath. There, I said it out loud. Shannon doesn’t look the least bit surprised though. “Am I that obvious?” I ask.

“No, I just know you. When you’re passionate about something, you light up from the inside out. I have never, not once, seen you light up about law stuff like you do when you’re taking photos or creating content for your Insta.” She reaches across the table, grabbing my hand. “You’ll figure it out.”

I nod slowly and while we’re on the subject, tell her about the program at Caracrest I found for digital marketing. She’s so supportive and encourages me to check out a few of the businesses in town to see if they would want some help with their social media or advertisements to give me some experience. It’s not a bad idea and maybe between that and the research I’ve been gathering, I can put it all together and show my parents. Maybe, just maybe, they’ll let me take a year off to pursue this.

A few minutes pass. We finish eating and then clean up our little picnic before heading down to the water. We float together, taking in the serene quiet of being in the creek, when Shannon splashes me to get my attention.

“You never finished telling me about your day with Mac.” She smiles like she knows something.

“He did say something that I found kind of odd.” I tell her about the conversation we had before we parted ways—how he thought I was going somewhere and he wasn’t.

“Well, it’s true though, isn't it?” she asks. I shake my head. “Em, he was so busy with the shop, keeping it afloat for his family, and you were so full of determination to go away to college. I think he knew if he asked you, if he gave you any reason to stay, you would.” Her words are gentle, but her meaning seems clear. Is she saying what I think she’s saying?

“But that would have been my decision.” My chin wobbles.

“True. But come on. He knew you had feelings for him. I think . . .” She pauses like she’s not sure how to tell me the next part. “I think he had feelings for you too, but he didn’t want to hold you back. He didn’t want you to have to choose between him and your dreams.”

“But he didn’t have to just cut me off. Why couldn’t he just—”

“Babe,” Shannon cuts me off and swims closer to me, gripping my shoulders. I look up at her. Her face is full of love and compassion. “He couldn’t go with you. You were so set on leaving this town. He knew he couldn’t go with you. He had to work at the shop, support his family.” I shake my head in denial. “He wanted youto live your life and not hold you back.”

Shannon drops her hands from my shoulders and gives me a moment to myself. I take a deep breath, mulling over what she just shared and thinking back on the conversation with Mac. He said something similar. Maybe not in so many words, but he mentioned my ambition and wanting to leave town.

Is that why he pulled away? When I thought I did something wrong, was he just trying to protect me? And if he had feelings for me all those years ago, maybe I didn’t imagine him wanting to kiss me. Maybe the lingering glances, the touches, maybe they have been more than just friendly.

“Hey, Shan?”

---