Page 6 of Jumping In

I put my finger to my lips and in a lowered voice say, “I really don’t feel like being social right now, Ma.” Mom huffs but then nods and takes her seat. “Is she still here?” I ask.

“She said she was just going to look around for a bit, so yes, she’s still here with your friend Shannon.” She replies in a hushed tone, matching mine, and shakes her head as if she can’t make sense of me. Mom wouldn’t understand why I don’t want to see MJ, and I don’t bother trying to explain it. Mom digs back into her salad, and we eat in comfortable silence. Well, mostly.

“I really don’t know how she stands it, having two criminals for sons,” a customer says quietly. They must be down the aisle near the office because we can hear them fucking perfectly.

“I know. I really feel for her. First Jake and now Alex. In a way, I hope Judge Matthis lays down the law on Alex. First offense or not, he needs to be taught a lesson,” another customer chimes in.

I roll my eyes and shake my head in disgust. This fucking town, always quick to judge and never quiet about it. My mom may not own the bookstore, but she works here almost every damn day. They know she’s around here somewhere, and it annoys me they would so blatantly talk shit about her and her family like this. I look across the table at my mom,who’s looking into her salad like it’s the most interesting thing she’s seen.

“That boy has been on a downward spiral for years. I’m surprised it’s taken this long for anything serious to happen. I feel for Nancy and Jim, though.” The first customer replies. Oh, now they feel sorry for my parents? I stand from the table to go give them a piece of my mind, but my mom grabs my hand and holds me back. I open my mouth to protest, but then hear that familiar voice again.

“Feel for Nancy and Jim. Why? Because they have an amazing son who works hard to take care of them?” MJ confronts the two customers. My body slumps back into the chair, and I feel like someone has sucked all the air out of the room. I try to take a deep breath, but it doesn’t fill my lungs.

“Sounds to me like you ladies need to find another bookstore to shop at. I hear Cedar Bend just opened one, maybe go there because I don’t think Nancy would appreciate your business if she knew what kind of bullshit you were spouting,” MJ continues, and it feels like a punch to the gut.

“Em, let it go. Come on, let’s just come back later,” Shannon, her voice of reason, chimes in. There’s slight shuffling, likely Shannon dragging MJ away, and then the bell over the door dings again. Mom lets go of my hand, but I reach back for it and squeeze it tightly, closing my eyes even tighter.

I take a few deep breaths, doing the box breathing technique Mom taught me. Inhale for four, hold for four, exhale for four, hold for four. Again. My heart rate finally slows back to normal, and I open my eyes to see my mom’s eyes shining with concern.

“You okay, kiddo?” she asks. I nod my head but then shake it.

“Yes, no. I mean, the panic is gone, but Ma, you deal with that kind of bullshit regularly? They know you’re here and still spew their gossip like that?” I ask her with more venom in my tone than necessary. She winces but then nods.

“It’s okay, kiddo. Really. We know the truth, right? I know I have some of the best boys in the world. Your brother has his troubles, but he’s still a good kid. And you,” she steps toward me and gently places her palm against my cheek. “You are our rock, Alex. Who cares what other people say?” She rubs her thumb against my cheek lovingly, and I nod.

“I’m sorry you have to go through this because of my decisions though, Ma.”

“It’s okay. Really.” She smiles softly and then nods her head, directing me to sit back down and finish my lunch. “I thought you said you and Emmalynn don’t talk anymore,” she says while stabbing more lettuce with her fork.

“We don’t,” I reply with my mouth full.

Mom shakes her head. “Well, she sure came to your defense back there. Maybe there’s hope yet for you two.”

I shake my head, “Nah, just wait. She’s been home less than a day. I’m sure once she finds out what those two busybodies were talking about, she’ll be on their side too.”

“Oh, kiddo.” Mom shakes her head and looks at me with pity in her eyes before diving back into her salad. We finish the meal in peace until I head back to the shop to finish up some more work.

Balancing a pack of beer in my left hand and a large pizza in my right, I approach the front door to my parents’ house. I give it a gentle kick with the side of my foot and hear my mom’s soft voice and hurried footsteps moving toward the door. I plaster a smile on my face even though I feel dog-ass tired as she opens the door.

“Alex!” She practically beams up at me. “Twice in one day, you’re going to spoil me.”

I shake my head and make my way inside, past my mom, through the living room and to the kitchen, where I set the pizza down on the table. “Not possible. Where’s Dad?” I’d noticed he wasn’t sitting in the recliner he’s usually in when I walked through the living room, and I fight off the tendril of panic that tries to take root in my mind.

“I’m right here, son. What brings you over here on a Saturday night, no less?” Dad shuffles from the hallway leading to the bedrooms and opens his arms for a hug. I gently wrap my arms around his frail frame. Releasing him, I hover nearby as he shuffles over to the table. “Beer and pizza too? My heart!” My dad clutches his chest, and I huff out a laugh.

“Figured we haven’t sat down together in a while. Plus, there’s a bag of laundry by the door.” I shrug sheepishly. I technically still live with my parents, but there’s a little studio above the garage that I stay in more often than not. Mom usually sneaks over and gathers my laundry every weekend,but after the display I saw in the bookstore, I decided that maybe I could give her a break and bring it over myself.

Mom heads to the front door and lugs in the bag of laundry while I grab paper plates from the cupboard. “Ma, I can get it!”

“Oh shush, just save me a slice or two, please. I’ll be right back,” she calls as she drags my clothes to the laundry room and gets the washer started.

Making sure everyone has a few slices of pizza on their plates, I head to the living room to set up the TV trays. I know my parents and they likely have a show they usually watch together on Saturday nights, and I don’t want to disrupt their routine too much. Sure enough, Dad takes his seat in the recliner and grabs the remote to turn something on. I hand him a beer and take a seat on the couch.

We eat in silence minus the TV droning on in the background, but then my dad breaks the silence during a commercial. “Your mother shared with me that Emmalynn is back in town. And apparently defended your honor to two townsfolk today.” He raises his eyebrow in question.

“Yeah, I guess she’s back for the summer. Probably prepping to head off to law school. Did Ma tell you what bullshit rumors those townsfolk were spreading?” I ask, and he shakes his head. The town talking about “those Macdonald boys” is a pretty common occurrence, so even if Mom didn’t tell him, I’m sure it wouldn’t be a surprise to him. Ever since my older brother, Jake, got busted the first time, the whole town has been abuzz with gossip. It was pretty fucking ridiculous. I’d like to think I wasn’t a bad kidwhen we were growing up, not like Jake. But after dropping out of high school, I hung out with him quite a bit and the town continued to talk.

Now that it’s my turn to have a run-in with the law, the town has pretty much doubled down on their opinion of me. Well, almost the whole town. I still have my close friends and the odd townie here and there who still have my back.

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