Page 8 of Jumping In

Trying to find clothes that make me feel good about myself is a big step on this self-love journey. Accentuating the things I do like about myself, like my ass and boobs, as Shannon so graciously observed, has helped. Learning how to dress this new body has been a struggle, but I finally feel like I’m figuring it out. Shannon is also not wrong about the red. I still wear red clothing but never a bathing suit. The summer I turned sixteen, I wore a red bikini down to the creek almost every day. I thought I was so hot because it was my firsttrue bikini. That was the summer my body “took on its womanly shape” as my mom told me back then. That was also the summer Mac pulled away. Maybe I subconsciously tied the two together and avoided the color; I’m not even sure what made me buy it earlier this year. It just felt right.

Shannon speaks, but I furrow my brow, not sure I heard her right. “I said, if Mac doesn’t fall at your feet with you in this bathing suit, then he’s blind.”

I roll my eyes. “Okay, one, I’m not wearing this for Mac. And two, I don’t even think he’s going to be around, and he’s definitely not coming tonight.”

Shannon shrugs and reaches for her beach bag. I throw my jean shorts and T-shirt on over my suit and grab my bag, too. We head downstairs and catch my parents in the kitchen. “Hey guys, we’re about to head down to the creek. You’re still going to swing by later, right?”

Mom replies, “Of course. Can’t wait to see the boys. It’s nice to see you, by the way, Shannon.” Shannon smiles and nods her head in agreement.

“Will Alexander be one of the boys there tonight, Emmalynn?” my dad asks in more of a stern tone than he usually uses.

“Um, I don’t think so, but I don’t know for sure. Why?”

“No reason, Peanut. Do you need us to bring anything down when we come by?” he asks.

“Actually, could you guys bring an ATV down for us to drive back later? You know how much I hate walking back home in the dark.”

Mom laughs and nods her head. “Of course.”

Shannon and I are floating around in the creek, enjoying the peaceful trickle of water and nature when we hear voices, not just any voices, male voices. Normally, this would be a little creepy, but after a few seconds, I realize it’s Austin and Blake. I splash some water toward Shannon to get her attention and then wade my way out of the creek. I walk up the creek bed, slowly trying not to slip. Once I hit the top of the hill, I run to the boys.

Blake has his hands full with food, but Austin is only carrying a case of beer that he sets down quickly as soon as he realizes I’m not stopping. I plow into him and wrap my arms around his neck in a giant hug.

“Fuck, MJ, you’re getting me soaked here!” Austin says with laughter in his voice.

“Dude, you’re at the creek. That is our natural state around here. Get over it,” I tease back.

He squeezes me around the waist and lifts me up slightly. “It’s been way too long.” I look over my shoulder and see Blake has set the food down and is greeting Shannon with an awkward side hug. I disentangle from Austin and jump on Blake next.

Blake squeezes me just as tight and seems to inhale my hair. “Uh, Blake, that was a little creepy.”

“I’ve missed you, okay? Just let me enjoy this for a moment.” He nuzzles back into me and if he wasn’t practicallymy brother, I would think this looked indecent. I just shake my head and soak him up.

“Okay, top chef, what did you bring to cook?” Shannon asks in a voice laced with sarcasm after hugging Austin hello. This grants us an evil laugh from Blake.

“Well, I figured we’d go with the basics. Cheese-stuffed hot dogs, hamburgers that have been marinating in my special sauce”—this earns a crude gesture from Austin, while Shannon and I try to contain our giggles—“and then some good old-fashioned potato salad.”

He unloads the cooler bag and lays the food out across the picnic table. “Well, that sounds amazing, Blake. Seriously, thank you for bringing all of this down. I can’t wait to try something you’ve cooked, finally.” Blake heads over to the grill and turns the knobs to get it heating. “I think you brought enough for a small army, though. It’s just the four of us tonight.”

Austin and Blake exchange a look I can’t quite read. “What about Mac?” Austin asks.

“I mean, he’s in the Dream Team group chat and I haven’t heard a peep, so I’m assuming he’s continuing to ice me out like always,” I answer honestly. Again, a look passes between Austin and Blake that resembles confusion, but it’s gone before I can think more about it. “My parents will be down soon, so maybe they’ll eat before they head off to play cards with the Becketts.”

“Ugh, the Becketts. Charlie is still trying to hang with us, thinking we’re friends and it’s so annoying. Take thehint, my dude.” Austin’s matter-of-fact words make us all burst out with laughter.

I’m practically drooling as the smell of hot dogs and hamburgers teases my nose. Blake is pulling the food off the grill just as we hear ATVs up the hill. My mom is driving the larger one with four seats, and my dad is on the quad coming down from the house. They park near the area we have set up for food and chat with all of us for a bit. Mom and Dad graciously decline food, but my dad takes a beer from the case the boys brought, mumbling something about how he can’t believe we’re all old enough to drink the stuff. They make Blake, Austin, and Shannon promise to come to a formal dinner at the house sometime soon and then take off on the two-seater headed toward the Beckett’s property.

Austin and Blake catch me up on their business venture. Apparently, Austin is managing the finances for their restaurant, so he’s more on the business side while Blake is more on the creative side. This makes sense because Austin was always good at math, and he took AP Calculus with me in our senior year. We were kind of the nerds of our group back then, always taking AP and honors classes when we could.

We shoo Blake away to go rest since he cooked, and Austin, Shannon, and I clean up and pack all the food into the cooler. Shannon grabs a beer and water, handing the water to Blake, as she sits next to him on one of the fallentree logs by the campfire. Austin helps me load the cooler into the back of the quad and then we head over to the campfire, where Blake and Shannon are whispering.

“I get it, but why can’t he just tell some people the truth?” I hear Shannon say.

“Whatcha guys talking about?” I ask as I take a seat in one of the camp chairs across from them, curling my legs underneath me in the oversized chair.

They both look up, surprised to see me, but Blake blurts, “Nothing. Thanks for cleaning up all the food.”

“No problem. Thank you again for cooking.” Austin sits down next to me with two waters and hands me one.

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