Page 146 of Bloom

“Then you don’t know me very well.”

“My, my, she’s quippy this morning.” Lux snickers as she grabs my shoulders and shakes me gently. “So you figured things out?”

“We saw Cheryl last night. She was…there.”

Lux whistles out a breath. “When it rains, it pours, hey?”

I flash a weak smile. “Tell me about it.”

“Tellmeabout it,” Lux retorts, and I do. I relay the parts of last night that she missed—the innocent parts, at least—and I get dragged into another hug. A bouncy, girly, giggly hug that doesn’t feel entirely appropriate since it’s partly adivorcewe’re all giddy about, that’s rounded off with a slyly murmured, “Hunter wasdefinitelylimping.”

“Shutup.” I shove her away, rolling my eyes. “Where is he?”

“Off dreaming wistfully about you, I’m sure.” That earns her a poke in the ribs, and it’s her turn for an eye-roll. “He’s fixing fences. Can I talk to you for a minute before you chase him down and desecrate my land?”

I snort at her dramatics, but I follow her inside. When we wind up in her bedroom, I only get a moment to coo over the baby sleeping soundly in his bassinet before I’m frowning at his mother, wondering why she’s dropping to her knees andrummaging around beneath her bed. I get an answer that’s in no way clarifying when she retreats clutching a dusty wooden box, and I frown so hard my forehead hurts when she pulls a thick white envelope out of it.

“Not gonna lie,” Lux says as she clambers to her feet and perches on the edge of her bed. Her tone is light, chipper almost, but her hand trembles as she holds the envelope out towards me. “I’ve always wanted to do this. Handing someone an envelope full of money is kinda badass, don’t you think?”

An envelope full of… “What’re you doing?”

The corners of her mouth drop, as does that money-laden hand. “I was thinking about what we talked about. About you leaving. And I think you feel stuck. Like youcan’tleave. And I realized that no matter what happens, you probably won’t go unless someone tells you to. So,” she clears her throat, trying and failing to look solemn. “I’m telling you—go.”

I stand stock-still, staring at that envelope, scarcely able to breathe. “Go?”

“You need to leave, Caroline,” Lux warbles, her attempts at stoicism waning. “Get out of Haven Ridge.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

Because I can’t, that’s why. Because I’ve nevernotbeen here. Because I don’t know where I would go, what I would do, how I would survive. I wouldn’t—Icouldn’t.

Lux pulls me down beside her, holding my hand. “Look me in the eyes and tell me you’re gonna be able to sleep at night knowing he’s still nearby. Tell me you’re not gonna spend every waking moment dreading you might bump into him. Tell me—” her voice breaks, and she does too, a couple of tears tracking down her face. “Tell me you’re still gonna be done when he comes knocking at your door, calling you Linny and begging for help.”

I open my mouth.

Nothing comes out.

Before I have time to crumble, to lament how pathetic I am, Lux is gingerly taking my face between her palms, holding me still so I have no choice but to listen to the truth, toseeit. “That does not make you weak, Caroline. It makes you a person. A very good person who, for once in their lives, needs to do something for herself.”

For herself. By myself. I bite my bottom lip to contain a whimper. “I’m scared of being alone.”

“You don’t have to be.”

For a second, I almost think she means Hunter. For a second, I almost want her to. And then, a perfectly timed yip echoes throughout the house, and we both shush Herc as he barrels into the room.

“Take him.” Lux jerks her head towards the runt sniffing our feet. “Take the money. And go.”

“I can’t take the money.”

The upward curve of her mouth is unbearably sad. “But you can go.”

“I—”

I stop the instant denial. I think about it, I really think about it. I imagine myself not here, somewhere else, somewhere no one knows me—I imagine what that might feel like.

I slump with relief at the mere hypothetical.

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