Page 100 of Chaos

Evidently, he is a dumbass.

This fucking dress.

I swear it’s gotten smaller since the first time I tried it on. Thinner.Sheerer.

Hanging on the back of my wardrobe door, it stares at me like a living creature, fluttering gently in the breeze sneaking in through a cracked window, acting as a ceaseless reminder of the upcoming nuptials that I somehow have to survive.

It’s not that I’m not excited for my brother. I am, though I might not outwardly show it. And it’s not that I don’t like Luna either—I’ve always liked Luna, even if I don’t show that either.

It’s the actual event that makes me itch. The social aspect of it all. The throng of people surely set to descend on Serenity. It’s not my first wedding—the ranch has hosted plenty over the years—but it’s the first where I won’t just be a faceless person in the crowd. I’minthe wedding. Standing at the altar with ahandful of other bridesmaids; my sisters, Luna’s sister, and the best friends she considers family too.

Except for Lux, of course. She’s the best man—the best woman?The best sister, she’s joked endlessly almost every day since I found out about the engagement.

I bet she isn’t nervous about the big day that isn’t evenherbig day. Eliza or Grace neither. No, I’m undoubtedly the only one acting like it’smywedding, like I’ll be the center of attention, like I’ll somehow ruin it, like everything I do will be scrutinized and judged and—

A knock on the door saves me from my own head. When, without waiting for a response, Yasmin hauls herself upstairs, I’m actually glad to see her—for all of five seconds, that is. Right up until she opens her mouth and declares, “You’re coming out tonight.”

Huffing dryly, I move my bridesmaids dress into the wardrobe, double-checking it’s hung properly before turning to the girl sprawled on my bed. “I am, am I?”

Leaning back on her palms, Yasmin nods enthusiastically. “Uh-huh.”

I give her points for confidence, but, obviously, “No thanks.”

Glossed lips pout. “Oh, c’mon.”

I shrug, thoroughly disliking how deeply her disappointed tone manages to wiggle beneath my skin. “I don’t do bars.”

I don't drink.That’s what I’m supposed to say. Unashamedly. Learned that the first time I went to rehab, and the second, and in every single meeting ever. I’m supposed to state my boundaries clearly and confidently, and in turn, that helps me enforce them.

You know what else it helps with? Encouraging questions. Concern.Pity, God for-fucking-bid.

Yeah, I’ll pass.

“Well, then, I guess it’s your lucky night.” Yasmin claps her hands against her thighs. “We’re going to a movie.”

Hm. Sounds… well, notunappealing. “What movie?”

“Nuh-uh.” My coworker-roommate-friend tuts, wagging a scolding finger playfully. “I’m not telling you. Don’t wanna give you a chance to pretend you’ve seen it or you hate the genre or something else that’sobviouslyan excuse.”

Busted.

I’ll have to come up with something else. A different excuse. Because God knows I can’t go, not when…

Well. Y’know. Yas knows. She tells me as much, she says, “I know something happened between you two,” and I flinch even though of course, she knows. The man on the fucking moon probably knows—that’s how obvious the rift between me and Finn is. “But that has nothing to do with us, okay? I don’t pick sides. And even if I did, I’d pick yours because girl power and shit.”

Though something in my chest warms, my silence persists. My hesitation too.

And as both stretch on, Yasmin sighs. “Fine. I’m not gonna drag you out the door.” She sighs again as she turns to the exit, extra wistful this time. “Guess I’ll just eat a whole bag of candy corn all by myself.”

Suddenly, it’s my turn to sigh, a groan quickly following it. Oh,fuck it. “Hang on.”

Yasmin half-turns, grinning like the damn Cheshire Cat. “Yes?”

Yet another breathy noise echoes around my loft. “Give me twenty minutes to change.”

Her smirk morphing into a pleased grin, Yasmin winks. “You get five.”

I flash my middle finger, but Yasmin is already on her way downstairs, mirthfully hollering to the guys that they’llneverbelievewho’s joining them. And while I roll my eyes, the corner of my mouth quirks, and it stays that way as I haul ass to make myself somewhat presentable.

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