Page 194 of Chaos

“You already have.”

“Did I? Must’ve been pretty unremarkable.”

“Jesus, you really have a death wish, huh?”

No, actually. I realize right now, with starling clarity, with one bleeding bullet wound and another one pending, that I don’t. I don’t want to die. I suddenly don’t feel so apathetic about living anymore either. I suddenly panic as this overwhelming need for life—a good one, a safe, happy one—punches me in the chest. One on Serenity with my family and my friends and—

Fuck. Finn.

One thought of him and suddenly, he appears. Coughing my name, he stumbles around the side of the smouldering barn,so focused on me, he doesn’t notice the intruders until the gun swings in his direction.

Then, he stills.

And I move, stepping in front of him, my hands raised even though my arm screams in protest, while my pride fucking weeps. “Go right now and I’ll pretend I never saw you.”

“We’ll go as soon as your little friend cooperates.”

Ruin, Carl means. The horse still bucking against a strained lead rope, struggling furiously against the people trying to corral him into a trailer. And it hits me then, it all catches up to me, I realize what they’re doing. This isn’t just a break-in or drunken arson or a chance to assert their fucking dominance over me.

They’re taking Ruin.

I can’t help it—I have to fucking laugh. “That’s your game plan? You burn down our barn, you steal our horse, and then what? You think you can just run off into the sunset?”

Clint sniffs, dragging the back of his hand under his nose, erratically waving the one still brandishing that fucking gun. “Pretty spot on.”

Oh my God. Oh myGod. He’s serious. That’s actually what they’re doing. “You’re a fucking idiot.”

A feral noise escapes one of the stupidest people I’ve ever had the displeasure of knowing. He takes a menacing step forward and I hold firm, I don’t back away, I narrow my eyes and fucking dare him to try something again. And maybe he would, if his brother didn’t stop him with a palm on his chest.

I snicker as Carl shakes his head in an obvious command to stand down. I start to make an entirely inappropriate quip, to flex my own stupidity, but then the man who took my virginity, and shat all over it, turns to me.

“Do you have any idea how much this horse is worth, Lottie?” When my brows crumples with confusion, Carl laughs. “Your littlepetcomes from a champion racehorse bloodline.”

Unrelenting heat roars at my back yet my blood runs cold. “What?”

A horrible, chilling smile blooms. “Y’know, his owners wanted you guys.Serenity. Said they wanted a nice home for the racing legacy who refused to fuckin’ run. I told ‘em we were better.”

Abruptly, all the pieces in this big, fucked-up puzzle slot together. “You were trying to train him.”

A grunt confirms it. “Trained or not, he’s still pedigree. We could go anywhere we want with the money we’ll get from him.”

Fuck.Fuck.

“And you?” I shift my gaze to Ricky. “Is this revenge? Because I got sober?”

He runs his tongue over his teeth as he sidles closer, mouth quirked cockily. “You weren’t so sober when you were downing shots and throwing yourself at me, were you?”

The man behind spits a foul curse.

I’m not any more polite. “In your dreams,Dicky.”

In the blink of my eye, my chin is clutched between sweaty, harsh fingers. Finn yells in outage, and then he yells in something else, and I twist my head just enough to catch him falling to his knees as the butt of a gun assaults his temple. Then I’m the one yelling, screeching like a banshee and throwing threats at Clint as vehemently as I throw fists at Ricky, but neither of them take any heed, the latter holds on tight, gripping me hard enough to bruise as he yanks me close enough to feel a spray of spittle as he hisses, “You left me, Lottie. I was your family fora year, I was all you had, and you left me for people who don’t even want you.”

Jesus, I do it again. I fucking laugh. Right in his face. Can’t help it—can’t respond to his utter lunacy with anything else. “You weren’t myfamily, dumbass. You were a distraction. You were a bad decision that went on for way too fucking long.”

Spewing an animalistic noise, Ricky sends me reeling backwards with a harsh shove. A shout rings out as I hit the ground hard, ass-first, and I ignore yet another thrum of pain as I scramble to my feet, my gaze immediately seeking out Finn. He’s so close, struggling in the Webers’ joint grip literally only a handful of steps away, but I don’t dare move. I barely dare to look at him, I want everyone to forget he’s here. I need to keep pissing people off so their attention stays on me. I need to get him the hell out of here.

I’m trying to figure out how, exactly, to do that when I realize he’s mouthing something to me. And then I’m trying to figure out why the fuck he would be telling me torun, why the fuck he thinks I would just leave him, how he thinks I evencould, and I’m so distracted with trying to resist the urge to tell him to go fuck himself, I don’t notice Ricky reapproaching.

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