Page 21 of Chaos

My horse snorts right back, tossing her mane like the diva she is.

I wish I felt an ounce of that attitude right now. I wish I could stay in the barn all afternoon. I wish, I wish, I wish, but alas, there’s no point. Nothing will change. I’ll still have to step foot in that house and face my match eventually.

Might as well get it the fuck over with.

Like a dog with my tail between my legs, I slope out of the barn and towards the people scattered across the porch.

A handful of steps later, I come up short at the sound of an actual dog.

And there I go again,smiling. I couldn’t stop it if I tried—I challenge anyone not to grin like a fool at the sight of an Australian Shepherd sprinting full-pelt in your direction, tongue lolling and ears flapping in the wind.

Dropping to my haunches, I brace for the onslaught of my favorite kind of affection, and that’s exactly what I get. Two paws slamming into my chest, wet puppy kisses make me scrunch my nose, but I don’t put up much of a fight.

“My Grouch,” I croon, smacking a kiss of my own on the soft, curly head of one of the many, many stray creatures Serenity has accumulated over the years. “At least someone’s happy to see me.”

What was once one of the five tiny puppies my brother’s ex-girlfriend found hiding in the barn with their mother, and is now a fully grown menace to society, barks as if to say‘of course I am.’

Grouch yaps in protest as I get to my feet, drawing a laugh out of me that abruptly dies when I lift my gaze and realize everyone is frowning at us. Except for Adam, who must be inside. And except for Finn too.

Finn smiles.

Obviously.

“She likes you.” Theo sounds bewildered, and I get it. If I had a dollar for every time someone cracked a joke about me and Grouch hating everyone but each other—the phrasekindred spiritshas been thrown around a lot over the years—I wouldn’t need to be back here, working my way to financial freedom. “Why does she like you?”

Yasmin slaps her boyfriend on the chest with the back of her hand. “That was rude.”

Jaw hanging crookedly, Theo exhales incredulously. “That thing almost bit off my thumb when I tried to pet it.” He flicks his hand in my direction, at the dog trying her hardest to climb up my damn leg. “Now look at it.”

That thing. It. Don’t piss me off. “She has a name.”

“Yeah.” He scoffs. “Grouch. She doesn’t like anyone.”

Yasmin corrects, “She likes Finn.”

My smirk drops. Eyes flicking to the man in question, I crook a brow. “Oh, yeah?”

Broad shoulders lift and fall casually, but there’s something decidedly provocative about the quirk of his mouth. “She’s all bark and no bite.”

The hum of an engine fills the air, but I ignore it, more focused on the buzz beneath my skin as I narrow my eyes at that smarmy, smug smile. “Oh, she’s got plenty of bite.”

“Are we still talking about the dog?”

“You’re talking.” Taking the few short steps to the porch, I snag one of the wrapped sandwiches from the basket balanced on the railing. “I’m leaving.”

Or at least I try to. I turn away from the group, away from smirks and frowns and the sad, doe eyes of a girl who doesn’t seem to understand yet that I am not the gal pal she’s been yearning for, with the intention of scampering back to the barn only to come up short.

To back up a damn step.

Toshrinkas I revert back to a kid or a teenager or whatever version of me is responsible for how the sight of my sister makes me feel.

Not scared, not anxious, but something that’s both and more. Something that stems from everyone who’s supposed to love medoing the opposite instead, as if I have some kind of genetic repellent. Like Iamthe repellent.

Except I’m not repelling Lux right now. As she climbs out of her truck, clad in the pencil skirt and silken shirt that hint to her having spent the morning in Business Mode, she kicks off her heels and strides barefoot towards me, grim determination lacing every facet of her being.

The urge to flee knocks me back another step. And then it turns me to the side, in the direction of the other barn on the property, the newer one that we renovated a few years ago, turning it from a dumping ground for old shit to a dumping ground for the overflow of horses my sister can’t resist saving.

A stable. A refuge. A hiding place that I only make it a handful of steps toward.

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