Page 216 of Chaos

But it still does come out. Spills out of me like some uncontrollable thing. Except it’s different because I know how to handle it. How to feel it just the right amount, how to not force everyone else to feel it too. How to rein it in.

Like I do now. While my siblings croon and coo and make despicable faces, I resist the urge to flip them off or snap at them or, I don’t know, throw a punch or two. And most of them get bored of teasing, they saunter off to rib someone else, they leave just me and Lux sitting on the porch, as if they know exactly what I need to do today.

Lux, it seems, has some kind of an inkling too.

She clears her throat. “So.”

“So.”

“Your six months are up soon.”

I swallow hard. “I know.”

“Should I put a tracker on your phone before or after I put that money in your account?”

“Neither.” I take a slug of my drink, swallowing more than just the soda—and let me tell you, nerves don’t taste nearly as good. “Don't want the money. Well, I do, but not all of it.”

“It’s yours, kid. I never should’ve kept it from you in the first place.”

“True,” I agree before sliding Lux a look that says I don’t actually care. “But I want something else instead.”

“If it’s my firstborn, then you’re shit out of luck.”

“Horses, Lux. I want horses.”

She pauses. Frowns. “My horses?”

“Some of them. Ruin and Gaia and Daphne, for sure. The rest, I’ll find myself.” I glance aside. “One of your ranch hands too. The really handsome one.”

“What the hell are you planning, Charlotte?”

“The Weber ranch is for sale.”

Realization dawns—horror soon follows. “You’re not.”

“I am,” I confirm. I already have. My bid got accepted last night, and the Weber ranch… Well, it isn’t the Weber ranch anymore. “I want a home, Lux. Some place that’s just mine. Some place I built. My own legacy. I wanna turn something shit into something really, really good, and I think I can. I think that place istheplace. So I bought it. I’m gonna fill it with horses. I’m gonna do something right, I feel it, Lux, this isright.”

She doesn’t agree.

She doesn’t disagree either.

Lux says nothing at all—she just stares at me, face painted with an expression I don’t understand.

“Well?” I press, squirming. “What do you think?”

A long, shuddering breath leaves my older sister. Her eyes close for a second, she sighs again, and this time, I recognize the emotion tainting it. I hear the relief. I see pride, shining and pure, in her dark eyes when they open again. I feel it humming beneath her skin, warm and comforting, as she throws an arm around my shoulders and tugs me into her side. And I hear it in her voice too.

“Welcome home, chaos.”

EPILOGUE

It takessix months to build their home.

And an entire year before she really lets it be theirs.

She thought it was too soon. She wanted to wait. She claimed she was giving him a chance to change his mind. To take it all back. Tomake the right decision, she said once, and only once, before learning her lesson—before he taught her that lesson.

Two years later, and she still looks surprised every morning when he wakes her up at the crack of dawn with a steaming mug of coffee, made just the way she likes it—she still seems so unsure of herself when she does the same for him. Three years, and he thinks it starts to sink in. Four, and it’s there, the bone-deep knowledge that he’s not going anywhere, he’s sure of it, and she finally is too. Five years, and they’re at a wedding, and he looks at the bride, and then he looks at her, his Lottie, his love, the same way he’s been looking at her for years, and she finally doesn’t balk.

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