Page 30 of Chaos

Not even nearly.“You left home because your parents wouldn’t buy you a pony.”

“You calling me a brat, Lottie?”

I shrug even though he can’t see me.

Finn hums thoughtfully. Finishing up with the back hooves, he moves to the front one on the opposite side of Ruin. “Takes one to know one, I guess.”

I don’t laugh—I scoff. I definitely scoff. I am definitely not amused. “You know I’m the only thing standing between you and a broken nose, right?”

“You know you’re the one who started it, right?”

“Sorry,” I drawl, not the least bit apologetic. “Am I supposed to go easy on you too?”

Sighing, Finn straightens and comes to join me on Ruin’s other side, a distracted crease to his features as he messes with his tool belt. “You can do whatever you want with me, Lottie.”

“Kinky. Is that a promise?”

Finn freezes. He looks up slowly, face literally falling as he slowly understands what he said—whatIsaid, what I didn’t evenmeanto say. The suggestive words just slipped out of my mouth, and now they’re forcing their way into Finn’s, choking him, making him… well, blush is the word that comes to mind. His complexion doesn’t change, but he gets that wide-eyed, bashful look as he clears his throat and hurriedly looks away, eyes finding the floor, and I would revel in provoking such anadorablyflustered reaction, if his gaze was the only thing that dropped.

Even before the metal hoof tester slips through his fingers and hits the ground, I flinch. I anticipate the loud, ringing thud, yet when it actually sounds, I don’t quite manage to avoid the hard, equine head that clunks against my own as Ruin startles.

Pain radiating from my temple, I lose my balance, losing my grip too as I stumble to the side. I curse, one hand pressed to the throbbing side of my face as the other reaches out for the horse stomping and huffing in agitation, grasping frantically for his lead rope only for Finn to beat me to it. Looping it around his forearm, he tugs it taut as he leans his weight into Ruin, pressing the stallion against the side of his stall. I don’t hesitate to join him, positioning myself at the base of that damn hard headand smoothing one hand over Ruin’s chest, palming behind his withers with the other.

“Relax,” I croon just as gently as I hold the calming technique I don’t even remember learning, let alone where I learned it. A book, I think. Or a documentary. Or maybe, most likely, an episode of Heartland. “Did the big, dumb man startle you, my boy?”

The big, dumb man in question grunts.

“Ignore him,” I continue, hiding the quirk of my lips against a soft, sleek coat. “I think he’s scared of women.”

“Woman,” Finn corrects lowly.

Slowly retracting the hand on Ruin’s chest, I press it against my own instead, right above my heart. “Thank you.”

A laugh claws its way out of Finn, rough as if he fought like hell to keep it in only to fail miserably. Clearing his throat, he gives his head a little shake before jerking it towards the barn door. “Let’s turn him out so he can burn off some of that energy.”

I nod, and together, we guide him into the grazing paddock attached to the barn. Leaning against the fence, I watch as Ruin avoids the handful of other horses chewing up the grass and claims the farthest corner, eyeing his surroundings warily before dropping his head.

Right as he does, someone taps the back of mine. “You okay?”

I dip out of Finn’s reach, palming the patch on my crown that suddenly tickles. “Yup.”

“He hit you pretty hard.”

“I’m fine.”

I don’t have to look at Finn to know he doesn’t believe me. I don’t care that he doesn’t believe me. My throbbing head is none of his concern, and he must agree because he leaves it alone. He leavesmealone.

For the rest of the day, I barely see him.

But when I get home, when I trudge my way up the stairs and down the hallway, I come up short a foot shy of the ladder.

And I stare at the bowl of sugar cubes sitting on the ground in front of it for a long, long time before I find myself capable of moving again.

8

You can do whatever you want with me, he says in his dreams.

And in his dreams, she does.

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