Page 53 of Chaos

I square my shoulders. “I can.”

Van de Dumb Stupid Idiot Motherfucker snorts.

Faced with the option of ignoring him or killing him, I keep my attention on my brother. “He likes me.Hedoes. I could get a saddle on him, I know I could.”

“He’d break your neck, kid.”

My hands ball into fists as I scowl at Van de Probably Got His Degree On Ebay. “Call me kid one more fucking time and I’ll break yours.”

Sliding between us, Jackson also shoots the trainer a glare. When he looks at me again, his expression is soft once more—pitying this time. “We’ll bring him back, okay? I promise.”

He should know that doesn’t mean anything to me. That I have a lifetime worth of broken promises, because he does too. I trust my brother, I do, but I don’t trustthat.

Slowly, an idea forms in my head. A reckless, dumbass idea that might just prove that jackass right.

Even slower, I nod. I stare at the ground, knowing that if Jackson gets one good look at my face, he’ll know I’m up to something. Instead, I let him think I’m too pissed to be in his presence—which I am, but that’s not why I stomp into the barn. Not the main reason, at least.

As common sense takes its best stab at me, I hesitate in front of the wall of saddles.

A grand total of five seconds later, I’m grabbing the lightest one, and a rope bridle too, the softest, most worn-in one there is. The saddle blanket I’ve been using as a picnic blanket for the past fortnight, I toss over my shoulder before hauling the whole lot outside.

Jackson doesn't see me; he’s too busy arguing with Van de Fuckwit. Neither of them spot me slipping into the training paddock where Ruin roams, but they hear the thud of gear hitting the ground.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Jackson hollers, but I can tell from his tone alone that he knows exactly what I’m about to do.

Even so, I call back, “Proving you just wasted your money on a hack.”

“Hey,” the hack in question shouts at the same time Jackson yells, “Don’t even think about it.”

Stooping to pick up the saddle blanket, I wave him off. “Stop yelling. Unless you actually want me to get trampled.”

“Charlotte.”

Ignoring my brother, I take a couple of quick breaths before starting slowly towards Ruin.

He’s extra pissed today. I can see it in wild, shifty eyes. Briefly, I wonder what the hell I’m doing before I give myself a shake, both mentally and physically.

What was it that Simon said?Like calls to like?We’re cut from the same cloth, me and Ruin. He won’t hurt me. He’ll let me saddle him up. He’ll let me ride him.

He has to.

“Hi, pretty boy.” At the sound of my voice, sleek black ears prick forward. “How ya doing?”

A slow, equine blink tells me to fuck off.

I do no such thing. I do the very opposite, in fact. I do what I’ve done almost every day since I met the big brute, except this time, it’s a saddle blanket, not a harness, that I slowly move into his line of sight. His nostrils twitch, and I let him sniff the fabric that I know smells like me, like someone who’s never caused him harm, like someone I hope to God he’s started to even consider trusting, before gingerly stroking it down his neck.

“Nothing scary here, yeah?” Heart in my throat, I move the crimson wool along the ridge of his spine, over the swell of his belly, along his flank, and back up again. “There you go. All good. Red’s your color, I think.”

The strong body beneath my palms shivers.

Holding my breath, I gently toss the blanket onto his back, expecting the worst and getting…

Nothing. Well, not nothing. He’s not happy about it, that much I know for sure, but he doesn’t freak. He doesn’t shake the blanket off. He doesn’t introduce my face to his hooves.

I smile like a damn fool.

“That’s my boy.” I smooth one hand along his flank, the other scratching behind his twitching ears. “You’re getting a whole bag of sugar, you hear me?”

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