Page 64 of Chaos

Though I almost don’t want any clarification, I still silently request some.

Shimmering water droplets cascade down a firm body as Finn rises to his full height. Instinct urges me to do the same, but it does nothing to less how utterly small I feel as he looms over me. As he croons, “I still don’t think you deserve it.”

I hear a silentand. I hear an addition that he decides, for whatever reason, not to verbalize.

Somehow, I don’t need him to clarify that the other thing he likes is me.

16

Of the dozens of calls that blow up his phone, he only answers one.

“I’m not bringing her home,” is all he says to the woman on the other end of the line, “until you’re ready to apologize.”

Quiet applauseand timid smiles welcome me onto the front deck of the A-frame.

“There she is.” Yasmin gets to her feet, a beer dangling from her fingertips as she takes a tentative step towards me. “You okay?”

I nod, unnerved by her genuine concern. And embarrassed too because as I hover on the porch steps, soggy from an impromptu swim, I can’t not think about how they were all there. They all watched their boss,myboss, scream at me, and there’s a special kind of mortification that comes from that.

Although, it kind of feels like this morning has been forgotten already—it kind of feels like the trio lounging around the unlit fire pit are more intrigued by my current state. My damp hair and water-stained clothes and bare feet, boots in hand becausetrying to wriggle wet feet into dirty socks is its own special brand of torture.

“Where’ve you been?” Yasmin asks the equally mussed man at my back more than she does me, lashes fluttering as she blinks haphazardly in a way that makes me wonder if the pair have some kind of secret code she’s trying to communicate in.

When Finn rattles off the name of the restaurant, the other guys snicker. “See Joy?”

The sound of kissing teeth makes the corner of my mouth quirk. As does Theo’s as his pale green eyes flick to me. “Bet she loved you.”

A warning tug on the back of my shirt does nothing to deter me from drawling, “Oh, I’m surprised I made it out alive.”

Adam hides a laugh disguised as a cough behind his knuckles.

“Leave him alone,” Yasmin chastises her friends, but she’s doing a pretty shit job at stifling her own amusement. “You want a beer?”

Smacking down the instinctive urge to snatch the bottle she offers right out of her hand, I force myself to decline. “Think I’m just gonna go to bed.”

A hand lands on my shoulder. “I’ll walk you up.”

It doesn’t escape me that the others watch us walk inside with a certain kind of look on their faces. Suspicion and confusion and something sly that involves the exchanging of wide-eyed stares and pumping eyebrows and low murmurs.

Sigh. What are we, teenagers? “I think your friends think I’m corrupting you.”

Hand hovering so close to the small of my back I can feel the warmth of it, Finn guides me up the first set of stairs. “I’ll make sure to tell them hownotinterested you are.”

“Exactly.” Is it just me or was there a littlebiteto that? “Your virtue is safe with me.”

A low, provocative snicker makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. “Baby, my virtue is dead and gone.”

I almost trip over the next step.Jesus. That had no right sounding so…hot.

Miraculously, I make it upstairs unharmed. Finn follows me to the end of the hall, towards the ladder that leads to the attic, but he stops short of the door I guess must lead to his bedroom.

Hand on the doorknob, he hesitates.

Fingers curled around a sturdy, wooden rung, I hesitate too.

He stares at me. I stare at him. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. Something wants to, but I’m not sure I should let it. I’m scared what it might be. Today has already left me so… fragile. Like a raw, gaping wound. A bullet hole with a BandAid hastily slapped over it. I’ve exposed more of myself than makes me comfortable, so I think keeping my mouth shut is the safe thing to do, lest anything else revealing leave it.

If my silence disappoints Finn, he hides it well. The corner of his mouth lifts as his chin dips, a muttered, “See you tomorrow, Lottie,” preceding the quiet creak of him opening his bedroom door.

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