Page 95 of Chaos

Something bright blossoms behind my ribcage and fills my chest with warmth.

A short-lived sensation, unfortunately. Anything warm is promptly zapped from my veins when, as we near the house, a yell of Lux’s name diverts our attention to the main barn instead—to the man storming our way.

I don’t know why the sight of Finn makes me stutter a step and gulp like a fucking fish.

Lie.

Yes, I do. It’s because the last time I spoke to him, we were locked in a closet together. Smushed together. And we almost… well, we almost did something that freaked me out so badly, I’ve spent the past few days avoiding him. And him me, I think. His brand of avoidance isn’t quite as obvious as mine, he isn’t aloof or avoidant or distant, but there isdistance. Not quite a gaping canyon, but a crack, undeniably. He hasn't been asthereas he usually is. He hasn’tlingeredas much.

Except during training sessions with Carmen and Ruin.

Which, of course, isn’t the slightest bit infuriating.

God, it’s so fuckingsilly. We almost kissed. So what? It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve made out with the wrong person, and I’m sure it wouldn’t’ve been the last either. It shouldn’t be this big of a deal, it shouldn’t make me feel all weird and squirrely, and I sure as fuck shouldn’t care about itnothappening more than the consequences of it actually occurring.

Except… well, it doesn’t feel like there would’ve been consequences. It didn’t feel like Finn wasthe wrong person. It didn’t feel like I was doing something wrong at all. It felt like I was doing something stupid, sure, but not in the delightfully rebellious way I’ve developed a taste for over the course of my life. It was more… I don’t know.Scarydoesn’t feel like the right word. Daunting, maybe.

Like I said,silly.

Like I said,it didn’t even happen.

Like I said,so fucking what?

Get over it, Lottie. Get the fuck over yourself.

Squaring my shoulders, I lift my chin, bracing myself for the inevitable weight of his gaze finding mine.

Except it doesn’t.

It skips right on over me.

It locks on Lux, and that fucking stings.

“What’s going on?”

“It’s that pregnant mare,” Finn spits and I recoil at the venom he projects, unaware that he was capable of such poison. “They fucking dumped her on a back road in the middle of nowhere. People who found her said she’s in a bad way.”

Both me and my sister swear. “She’s on her way here?”

“Ten minutes out.”

“Shit.” Lux glances at me, face crinkled with apology. “I should be here.”

I nod without hesitating. “Agreed. So should I.”

“No, you gotta go. You already skipped one—” She cuts herself off, eyeing Finn as she clears her throat. “You need to go.”

“Lux, c’mon. I can help.”

“This isn’t up for discussion, kid. Get out of here.”

“What, am I walking?”

“I’ll drive you.”

I squint at Finn—at the mouth that just uttered the only words he’s aimed in my direction in days. “No.”

“I need to go into town anyways to get some foal formula.” He swallows, looking stricken for a second. “Just in case.”

---