Page 97 of Reaper's Rival

“It’s a boy too,” I said. “So it’s your grandson I’ve been mistreating.”

“We can change that as of now.” Dad moved around the desk and pulled the chair out next to me. “It’s my fault you have been so unwell and dealing with all this shit. Now I’m going to help you recover.”

“I don’t think you come back from something like this.”

“You do, sweetheart. It’s called time.” He took my hand. “You’ll always feel guilty. Some nights you won’t be able to sleep without replaying the images in your head. But you will come back from this, Abby. Look at what Reaper’s done for this club. He might be hollow after it, but he always comes back.”

The tears just slid down my cheeks. Dad had a point. Reaper did always come back. But I had seen him when he lost himself. I had helped him back, hadn’t I? Was it possible for me to come back from this? I honestly didn’t know anymore.

“A grandson is something to celebrate.”

“Any reason to grip a beer, right Dad?” I wiped the tears off my cheek.

“You going to keep him?”

I looked at him, slightly surprised. “How did you know I was even considering giving him up?”

“Kim told me. But seeing you’re back with Reaper, I am guessing you are keeping the baby?”

“I don’t think I deserve him or deserve to be his mother. As for being with Kade, I don’t know. I don’t understand what he sees in me. Because I’m so far gone from the girl I used to be.”

“He sees what I see in you.” Dad leaned in closer to me. “Home and shit doesn’t feel right when you are away from each other. Life stops. But when you are back together, all the stuff that happens while you’re apart doesn’t matter. All that matters is the love you feel and the peace you give him.”

I bit my bottom lip. “So you are telling me to keep the baby and be with him? I don’t deserve a happy ending.”

“In your case, it’s not your ending, it’s your beginning.” Dad stood up. “Now I want you to stop crying. Eat something and get some sleep.”

Sleep. I knew it wouldn’t happen. I couldn’t stop seeing that ten-year-old boy’s body drop on the fall and feeling his blood spray over me.

“I don’t think there is a point.”

“You need to start taking better care of yourself. You are pregnant.”

“Really? I didn’t know why my stomach was getting bigger.” I wanted to roll my eyes.

Dad’s hand cupped my jaw, and he forced me to look him in the eye.

“You will be a fantastic mother. What you’ve done for me will never be forgotten, and I’ll repay you back one day.”

“You don’t owe me anything, Dad. You would have done it for me.”

“Well, if I can’t pay you back, I want you to tell me you will be keeping this baby.”

I couldn’t do that. I shook my head.

“Abby. You might think you don’t deserve him, but all he will want in life is your love and approval. Two things I know you are capable of.”

“I just don’t want to screw him up.” I teared up again. “I fail at everything. I screw up any good thing that comes my way. Look at what I did to Kade! That was all me. I’m not sure if I’m capable of loving him back anymore.”

“Don’t drown in regrets, Abby. Don’t let Blake take you away from this world when you have so much to live for and so much to give. You, Abigail Harrison, are stronger than that.”

“So you are telling me one day I’ll wake up and want to face the day?”

“I’m telling you that as of tomorrow, you won’t wake up thinking the worst is going to happen. You’ll start to look forward to the days ahead of you again.”

“What about Kade? Will I be capable of giving him what he wants?” Here I was treating my Dad like he could look in a crystal ball and tell me my life was going to get better.

“You already are.” He helped me up. “Now I want you to get some sleep. You look like you haven’t had any for a while.”

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