Page 132 of Tattooed Love

“Fine, I’ll leave,” I announced, and pulled myself up from the stool, holding the bench for support. I only took one step, stumbling, before Tyler wrapped his arms around me, taking the weight my legs couldn’t.

“Why don’t you just sit back down,” Tyler propped me back on the stool. “And don’t fall backwards,” he instructed. I felt him leave his hand on my chair, just in case.

“Just leave all of you, I’m fine!”

“If you said that without stuttering, I would have believed you,” Jax said, and naturally, he pulled a stool up next to me, and being the know-it-all that he is, he took the remaining cans away from me.

“What has you drinking so hard?” Jax asked in a lowered voice; he spoke softly to me, “Are you ok?”

What’s this? Jax actually pretending he cared about me? Hah.

.Turning slowly to look him up and down, I asked, “Why would you care?”

“Ok, what happened?” Cole snapped before Jax could reply. “You never do this.”

“Do what?” I bit back. Couldn’t they all just leave me alone? Why did they care anyway? It’s not like I was nice to them.

“This!” Cole gestured at the cans. “Drinking and looking depressed.”

“You’re right,” I spoke bitterly at Cole, and shook Tyler’s hand off my back. “I have no right to be depressed!” I got up abruptly from the stool, thankful my legs didn’t cave under me. “It’s not like my own dad just told me he wanted nothing more to do with me and is shipping me off to the other side of the world, and that I don’t even have one person that would care!” I couldn’t hold the tears back any longer, and they began to run slowly down my cheeks. I turned my head slowly to look at Jax. “And the one guy, that for some reason I really cared about, told me flat out he would never love me.”

My emotions were exploding everywhere, and I couldn’t keep them to myself anymore. I shook my head, consumed with this feeling of worthlessness. “I have nothing to be depressed about,” I said slowly. I managed to put one foot in front of the other, swiping a can from the bench as I left.

The boys looked shocked because, for the first time, my emotions were on display. They were raw and ugly. What man wouldn’t be stunned after witnessing that? I drunkenly made my way to the foyer. I had a choice to go upstairs and sleep it off, or get behind the wheel.

Choosing neither, I pulled a jumper from the coat rack and stumbled out into the fresh night air. I just wanted to walk it off, and each drunk step I took was one further from my problems.

Well, that was how my drunk mind was reasoning with me.

“AMBER!” The front door slammed, and Jax ran up the driveway after me. The gravel crunched under his heavy boots and he yelled after me, “Amber, wait!”

I had barely made it halfway up the driveway, so Jax caught up with me quickly. Grasping my upper arm softly, he stopped me.

Pure panic covered his face. “I’m sorry,” he gulped, looking at me regretfully. “I don’t like people knowing who I care about because it puts them in danger. You being with me Amber, could lead… if you were to get hurt because of me…” he shook his head, brimming with tears. “I can’t lose you,” he added.

I closed my eyes briefly, letting the pent up tears flow down, and then I looked him back in the eye. “But you don’t have me to lose. You either risk it or let it go, and you chose to let me go.”

“I would rather have you alive than dead,” Jax said gently, and cupped my cheek with his other hand, lowering his head to look me in the eye “I’m not going to change Amber. I’m always going to be an outlaw, and I’m only going to get deeper into it.”

I stomped my foot shaking my head, coughing back the tears. “I can deal with that; I will always stand by you,” I said, as I gripped his shirt. “Please just don’t give up on us.” I was begging him to not turn away from me.

“I can’t expect you to live this life,” Jax said as he shook his head and brought me in closer to his chest, trying to comfort me. “I can’t let you waste your life waiting for me.” He let go of my upper arm and wrapped his arm around my back.

“Jax, we are perfect for each other!” I knew the alcohol was helping me speak my mind as I wasn’t holding anything back. My walls had crumbled; I wasn’t playing a game. I simply was telling him the truth; how I really felt. “Please don’t give up on us before we even had a chance.”

Jax looked at me deeply. I could see him fighting his own reason. I just wanted him to forget about what was right and just risk it with me. If I was willing to, why couldn’t he?

“Amber…” he sighed, running his thumb down my jaw. “I..”

The roaring of an engine and squealing of tires grabbed our attention. Just like that, everything faded and suddenly time slowed. In slow motion, I registered the gun shots and the black sedan at our gates, firing bullets at us non-stop.

My body hit the gravel as Jax pushed me to the ground, covering my body. I felt Jax reach to his back, pulling his gun out and firing in the direction of the car. The noise stained the air. The car spun around and took off in the direction it came from. Turning my head to the side, I saw my brothers on the porch, guns raised, and swearing.

“Go after them!” Jax roared up at them, but he didn’t need to. Cole and Tyler were already straddling their bikes, and they shot up the driveway.

“Amber?” Jax put his gun on the gravel, and got off me. “Come on, you have to get up, you need to get in the house.” Jax’s eyes drifted to the road following the sound of the motorbikes. I knew he wanted to be chasing them too.

“Jax, I can’t get up,” I looked at him calmly, and frowning, he looked back at me. For the first time in ages, he scanned my body, and when his eyes widened, I knew.

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