Page 144 of Tattooed Love

“Loss of what?” I hadn’t done anything! I certainly hadn’t lost him anything; nothing that I was aware of anyway.

“I can’t lose this club.” He said each word clearly, for some reason speaking to me like I didn’t understand basic English.

“And I would never let you lose this club,” I said, faking calm, when, on the inside, I was just a bubbling mess of nerves. I knew how important the club was to him; heck, I would do anything to help him. Why would he think I would ever take the club from him?

“I couldn’t take that shit in front of Mai. I can’t let you think you have control over me.” Jax’s voice was deadly. I can’t believe the man I was willing to risk everything for was threatening me right now!

“I don’t want control over you! I just want you! Bloody hell Jax, when are you going to see that I only care for you! I don’t want to ruin your life, or take the club from you! I just want to make your life better. I want you to want to share your life with me.”

Jax crossed his arms, and just kept looking at me coldly; like I was scum.

“Why would I want to share my life with someone who is so pathetic, she goes crying to their brothers instead of trusting me? I thought you understood that this relationship wouldn’t be easy but what happened tonight, it proved to me you can’t handle this.”

“What are you talking about!?” I yelled at him and moved closer to him. “I haven’t done anything!”

“Amber, we’re over.” Jax meant it. His face, his body language, everything proved it to me. He was done.

“No!” I shook my head. This couldn’t be happening. “I said I loved you…” I gulped, feeling myself melting in front of him. “I love you Jax, you can’t give up on us.”

I went to go to him, but he just stepped away from me; keeping me at arm’s length. “I want to make it clear Amber. I want nothing more to do with you,” he said coldly.

It was happening. After everything, all the chasing, all the games. He was walking away from us.

“We’re perfect for each other,” I begged him, and I didn’t bother to wipe the tears that were streaming down my cheeks.

“Just drop it Amber.” Jax went to turn his back on me, but I quickly walked around him and blocked the doorway.

“No.”

“Move.”

I placed my arms across the doorway. Seriously, I was blocking the guy who just broke up with me from leaving? I must really be pathetic.

“Just tell me why? What changed?” I begged him. If I knew what’d changed, then maybe I could fix it. Maybe I could explain whatever was worrying him.

“Nothing changed, I just saw clearly for the first time.” Jax crossed his arms. “You can’t handle this life.”

“I have been living this life as long as you have Jax,” I snapped at him. “I don’t see that as a reason to break up with me. To walk away from us.”

“I can’t have you crying to your brothers every time there is a problem. I thought you were mature enough to at least take it up with me.”

“I didn’t go crying to anyone!” I yelled in his face. The anger, shock and just pure hurt coursing through my body began to take control over my actions.

“He doesn’t want you. For Heaven’s sake, stop begging,” Mai said, her voice floating to my ears from behind me.

I didn’t have the strength to turn around and answer her, or even bother to punch her. Because right now, Jax was breaking my heart and I couldn’t take my eyes off him.

He was what mattered; he was the only thing that mattered in my life.

“What? No comeback Amber?” Mai prompted from behind me.

I kept my eyes on Jax. “We can just work this out Jax, just give me a chance to explain,” I begged him again but when his face didn’t change, I knew it was pointless. I swallowed the fear inside me, and prepared myself for what was about to come. “If you end us right now, you end us for good.” I had to make sure he understood what he was doing, because I couldn’t take the games anymore.

If he was done, he was done.

“My, she is clingy,” Mai said as she tapped her foot behind me. I was pleased when Jax threw her an annoyed look over my shoulder.

But when his eyes met mine once again, that little bit of pleasure disappeared.

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