Page 16 of Tattooed Love

I suppose now wasn’t the time to tell him I lied to him every day of my life.

“I’m not,” I fired back.

“Then tell me what happened!”

“NO. It’s my body, my life.”

“I am your father! And, as my daughter, I’m ordering you to stay away from that abusive son of a bitch you call your boyfriend. This time, Amber, is the last time. No daughter of mine will be abused. You are smarter than this! For God’s sake, I raised you better! How can you possibly think it is OK to be treated this way? With no respect. Your behavior disgusts me. I have dealt with the drinking, the smoking, the violence, and, not to mention your run-ins with the law, but not anymore. This stops now!”He took a deep breath.“You are getting your act together, whether you like it or not.”

My mouth hung open in shock. It wasn’t his words that scared me; this wasn’t my first lecture or warning. What scared me was his tone, the look in his eyes. This was the real deal; he meant business.

“I’m calling your brothers.”

I froze… He couldn’t. He wouldn’t!

I stared at him frozen, my mind going crazy with possible scenarios, a lot of which involved my brothers killing me; or Blake, if they knew he existed.

Chapter 4

My brothers were dad’s secret weapon. I threw a book across my bedroom in frustration. Why I had a book in my bedroom to begin with was a mystery to me.

I slid down my bedroom door, glancing at my reflection in the long mirrors across the room. I was such a mess. I had always told myself that I was a strong, confident woman, but, right now, I looked like a punching bag; an old punching bag.

I ran my hand through my hair. Taking a deep breath, I pulled myself up off the floor and walked towards the bathroom. I scooped up my surround sound controller from the floor and hit play.

A song started playing that summed up mine and Blake’s relationship well; I smiled disbelievingly. Of all the random songs lined up, this was the one that played. As I walked towards the bathroom door, I stopped, my eyes landing on a photo of Blake and myself. We looked so happy. So innocent.

The gang had ruined us. My eyes stared at the picture, burning a hole into the happy couple. Tears began to roll down my cheeks, and then my eyes landed on the women in the mirror again.

Bruised, bloody and batted.

I ripped my top off, unbuttoned my jeans, and walked into the bathroom.

I entered the shower and closed my eyes, feeling the water run down my body, but I already knew. The water couldn’t wash away my fears, worries or mistakes. It could only wash away the physical evidence of the night before.

“Anywhere But Here” by Sick Puppies filled the room. I placed my head against the cold tiles, as the water washed down my back, and lost myself in the lyrics.

How could life get so complicated, so early?

I put on my bathrobe and walked over to my dresser. My fingers inadvertently reached for the picture of my brothers, tracing their faces. They were in their older teens in the picture, now faded. This is how I remembered them. This is what came to my mind when I thought of them. I didn’t think of them as the soulless beasts they had become.

***

I heard them before I saw them. The sound of crushing gravel drifted through my window. They were here, and my fear spiked.

My brothers.

My reasons for fearing them weren’t the same as for others. I couldn’t exactly claim

I loved them, although I had an independent equation with each of them, but, from the day they’d left, I could safely say there was no love lost.

After all, they’d left me here… with dad.

Not that dad was mean or abusive, but, after they left, he went cold, and, as a result, threw himself into work, and, without supervision, I ended up the train wreck I was today.

I listened closely as the car came to a stop. I wondered if it felt strange for them being back here, after so many years of avoiding the place and the people who lived here. I closed my eyes and took a steady breath; and I listened for the car door.

One car door slammed.

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