Page 171 of Tattooed Love

But, from the look on her face, she wasn’t going to give me a second of her time. I had to think of something. Quick. I had to say something. Stop her ending us altogether. Stopping my chance of getting her back.

“Just give me an hour.” I pleaded with her. “I won’t stay a second longer.”

Surely, she could spend an hour with me? Hell, there was a time in our relationship when she was the one wanting to be with me, when she was pleading to spend time with me.

And I always pushed her away.

And right now as she looked up at me, with hardness in her eyes. I was beginning to feel what she would have felt when I did it.

Please don’t do it Amber.

The look in her eyes didn’t soften. She was about a second away from slamming the front door in my face.

I panicked. “Half an hour?”

Her phone buzzed in her hand and she looked down at it. “Deal’s happening.” She looked up. “You did a good job putting that together.”

“Does that mean I get half an hour of your time?” I hoped.

She clenched her eyes shut. “No.”

Rejection. I wouldn’t accept it. “Please, Amber. Just five minutes then. Just let me explain what happened.” All my life I had been taught never to be weak, but, in this moment, I was weak. Never let anyone see you as weak. Dad’s words repeating in my head.

He was the only role model I had. I admit he was a shitty one and, yeah, I picked up his bad habits. Like the need to be bulletproof. To never let anyone close. To never let anyone see you as weak. Strength was something Johnston’s prided themselves on.

But right now, I didn’t give a fuck. I was going against every word of advice dad had ever given me.

I reached out for her, cupping her face; God, I needed her to open her eyes. “Please, Amber. Five minutes.” She had me begging! God, I couldn’t be any more pathetic. “Please.” My voice wavered with emotion, just at the mere thought of the emptiness I felt without her. I never let emotion show, so she heard it, her eyes springing open.

Was that what she needed to hear? That I was empty without her?

“Five minutes.” I repeated. “Then I’ll leave.” How the hell was I going to convince her to take me back in five minutes? I didn’t care about that right now. Right now the mission was to get inside.

“Ok.” She said deflated and stepped back, my hands dropping from her face.

I closed the front door.

“God, I’m an idiot,” she muttered to herself and walked into the lounge room. I followed.

She sat down on the couch, tucking her legs under her. Her attention went to her phone. I just stood there staring at her.

“Stop looking at me,” she snapped, and looked up. “Seriously Jax, you are acting like you’ve never seen me before.”

“I’ve missed you.” I walked in and sat down on the couch next to her. “Sorry.”

“For staring?” she arched an eyebrow at me, as if I would be saying sorry for that.

I shook my head. “For not trusting you the night Mai came. For not believing you.” I reached out and tucked her hair behind her ear, needing to see her face. “I’m sorry for breaking up with you. I’m sorry for all the hurtful things I said and I’m really sorry you had to move because of me.”

She took a nervous breath in. I could see how nervous she was. She was flipping her phone around in her hand. I placed my hand over her nervous one, and her eyes snapped to mine.

“I’m so sorry Amber.”

She finally nodded her head. “Well, you’ve got it off your chest.” Her words hardened. “You can go now.”

She was just pushing me away. I sighed. “I still have three minutes.”

She scoffed but didn’t say anything. I would do anything to hear what she was thinking. Did she still love me? She said she would always love me. What could I do in three minutes to prove to her I had changed?

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