Chapter 36
I sat in the back of the classroom, not even bothering to rise from my chair when the familiar bell rang out throughout the school. Xavier’s eyes were firmly planted on mine when the bell rang.
Chatter filled the room and all students rose and made their way to the exit. However, I remained seated because I knew Xavier would ask me to stay behind and, instead of fighting it, I just expected it.
Alec didn’t come with me to school today. He actually had to go somewhere with his dad. And I didn’t want to be that whiney chick that couldn’t do anything without her boyfriend. Really, I should be able to go to school without him having to hold my hand.
Once the last student left the room, Xavier closed the door, sealing him and me in the room. I was now relying on my willpower to keep me from doing something stupid.
“Chloe.” Xavier’s voice was so soft and tender. He said my name like it was a precious gem. I was taken aback by his tone.
“Xavier.” I closed my textbook and pushed it to the side. “I was guessing you would want to speak to me?”
“We haven’t talked since, well, that night.” Xavier looked uncomfortable, as if he were raw on show for all. I was nearly fooled by his act. As if Xavier could show his real emotions.
“How are Emily and the boys?” I smiled confidently. “Dad informed me they’re back in your care.”
That’s it, Chloe. Just keep remembering his wife and family. He could speak to me as softly as he wanted, but at the end of the day he wasn’t mine.
“Yeah. The boys keep asking when you’re stopping by.” Xavier crossed his arms. His eyes dropped to the ground. “Emily’s fine.”
“Good.” I nodded my head. The pain was ripping me in half. “I’m leaving once the school year finishes.”
“You’ve been happy the last few days.” Xavier’s voice was low. It wasn’t a question. It was a statement. “I’m guessing someone has been influencing that.”
I thought about the last few days. Alec and I had spent each day together. Alec had made it his mission to entertain me. We went rock climbing the day before yesterday, and yesterday we went ice-skating. Much to his amusement, I actually was better at surfing than skating.
“Yeah. I’ve been hanging out with Alec. Though I wonder how you would know that?” I asked, frowning, studying Xavier’s face as his eyes stared down at the floor.
“I feel your emotions.” Xavier shrugged his shoulders. “I have been able to since your birthday.”
“WHAT!” My voice got a little higher. “That’s not right, you can’t...”
“I can. I don’t know why.” Xavier cut me off and looked into my eyes. “Though over the last few days, it has gotten weaker. The bond is…”
“Not as strong?” I finished his sentence. “Well, that is how it is meant to be.”
“No it’s not.” Xavier’s eyes narrowed. “I’m not meant to be losing you. I’m meant to be keeping you.”
“Xavier, are you going to leave Emily?”
“I can’t,” he stuttered, as if he were torn.
“You won’t,” I corrected him, not angry with him or hurt by his decision. I was coming to terms with the fact we weren’t going to be together. “You don’t want to.”
“I love you, Chloe.” Xavier’s eyes filled with tears. He meant it.
I rose from my chair and went to stand in front of him. With a shaky hand, I cupped his cheek. “I love you too. How can I not? You’re my mate.”
Xavier reached out and took my other hand. “I’m stopping you from being free. But it is so hard to let you go.” A small tear slid down from his right eye. I wiped it away from with my thumb.
“It’s not easy,” I admitted, speaking the truth while fighting my own tears. “But you have two beautiful boys.”
Xavier’s cold (why cold?)eyes were locked with mine and all I saw was love and hurt. “I thought I could keep you.”
“You love Emily. Even if you don’t think you do.” As I blinked, the tears slid down my cheeks. “I know you love me too.”
“I’m sorry, Chloe. I’m sorry for how I treated you. I’m sorry for ignoring you. I’m sorry for making you jealous. I’m sorry for lying to you. I’m sorry that I have wasted a year of your life. I’m sorry that I can’t leave Emily. I’m sorry I can’t spend the rest of my life with you. But most of all I’m sorry for twisting your emotions. I will always love you.” Gently he wiped the tears away from under my eyes. “You’ve always deserved better.”