He nodded his head, still watching me, as I turned my back on him and walked up the stairs. I kept my heartbeat normal, not letting my nerves control it.
I had to tell Chloe the truth, or at the very least convince her that I cared for her. I tapped lightly on her door and then opened it, not waiting for her to answer. I didn’t want to have this conversation in the hall.
Chloe looked up from her bed as I closed the door. Her packed suitcase was already on the ground. Her eyes narrowed as she looked at me.
“What are you doing here?” Her voice betrayed bitterness. She stood up.
“Seeing you,” I replied calmly while walking towards her. “You’re packed then?”
“Yes.” She crossed her arms. “Yes, I am.”
I didn’t want her to go. I knew she would be coming back. But more time away from me would only cause more damage. “I’ll miss you.”
“Don’t, Xavier. Don’t do this to me. Just say whatever it is you came here to say and then leave.” Her voice was strong, but I noticed her hands shaking.
“I came here to tell you that. I am going to miss you.” I exhaled sharply and then took a step to stand in front of her and inhaled slowly. “I love you.”
She shook her head and shut her eyes. “Please stop.”
“I need to tell you something.”
My body flooded with fear as I thought about mentioning this subject to her. I was about to tell her why I couldn’t be with her or why it would nearly kill me to be with her. I had pretended for so long it didn’t happen. I had turned my back on my past but now I knew I had to face it. If I wanted to keep her, I had to face it.
“I don’t want to hear it,” she quickly snapped and took a step away from me. “I don’t want this. I don’t want to feel anything for you anymore.”
“Just let me explain and then you can choose.”
“You’ve said that before. You lost your change to explain.” She put her hands up.
“Emily isn’t the one stopping me from being with you. She’s just an excuse. Let me explain.”
“What a surprise. Another lie.” She brought her hands down and placed them on her hips “Leave, Xavier. I don’t want to hear it.”
I clenched my fists tight by my side. “Please Chloe. I need to tell you.”
“When are you going to get it, Xavier? I don’t want this anymore. I don’t want you as my mate.” I heard the words from her lips, but her heart and her eyes were telling me otherwise.
“I know you want me. Because I want you. You’re mine and that is how it is meant to be.” I kept my eyes locked with hers. “If you let me tell you why, then you will know that I didn’t deny you because of Emily, or because I didn’t want you.”
“Xavier, there is nothing you can say that will make me want to be with you. My emotions may be subject to your pull. But my heart knows that all you will do is lie and twist it until you break it further. Now get out!”
I wasn’t going to believe her. I wasn’t going to let this happen. I just had to tell her no matter how much she said she didn’t want to hear it.
“I use to be—”
“GET OUT!” she roared, pointing a finger to the door behind me. “Or I will call my brother to throw you out.”
“Chloe—”
“I’m moving on, Xavier. I won’t let you pull me back in.” She stood firm and her eyes were empty of emotion, cutting off her soul to me. “Get out.”
“Just let me say what I need to say.”
“And you think you deserve the right? I don’t want to hear your story. Not now, not ever!” Her chest heaved up and down as she studied my reaction to her words, but my reaction was delayed. Half of me couldn’t believe that my Chloe had grown so strong, that she really was trying her best to lead a life without me.
“Get out, Xavier.”
I took a few stumbled steps backwards and then stopped.