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God, he needed to stop. I didn’t eat a meal! That’s it. God, if I told him the truth right now, I think he would kill me FOR having cancer. Like I was doing it to hurt him!

“KADE! LET GO OF HER!” Mum yelled at him and both her hands went to his, trying to get him to let go. My arm was going numb.

“NO! SHE THINKS THAT I’M SO COLD THAT I WOULDN’T CARE IF SHE DIED! SHE IS STANDING HERE SAYING I WOULD SURVIVE WITHOUT HER!” Dad’s grip tightened. He took a step closer to me, closing the gap between us. “I WON’T LET YOU KILL YOURSELF.”

That was it. I snapped. The calmer side of me, well, it disappeared and my anger that I’d never expressed exploded.

“YOU’LL FUCKING GET OVER IT. IT’S MY LIFE AND I CHOOSE HOW I SPEND IT AND IF THAT’S IN AN EARLY GRAVE THEN YOU CAN’T STOP ME!” It was only facts! Facts he would have to wake up to one day. It was my life—and I was trying to fight the cancer—but I wasn’t God. I didn’t decide who lived and died. And I knew the odds were against me.

So I wasn’t being mean, telling him that. I wasn’t trying to hurt him. Dad let go of my arm like I had just burned him and he turned his hand and I knew what was going to happen. He was about to violate my one and only rule.

But I didn’t flinch or deflect his hand as it was coming for me—someone else did.

Brad pushed Dad back firmly, and then basically Tyson and Brad had to hold Dad back as he tried his very best to get to me.

“Tatz, can you take Hannah to Layla’s,” Mum said, her eyes on Dad. “Now.”

Dad was getting free of Brad and Tyson and I was really interested in what he would do. Did he think hitting me would make me back down? Did he really think that a firm hand from him would suddenly—magically—stop me from thinking I was dying?

My breast started to burn more and my hand went to it. I knew it made sense to go to Layla’s. I knew Dad needed time to calm down before he acted on his rage.

I looked up when I saw Dad had broken free of Brad and Tyson’s grip. I didn’t even have a second to turn, a second to run; one minute I was standing and the next his hand whipped across my cheek and my body fell to the ground, blood filling my mouth. The power of his hand took me to the ground, literally.

I could blearily hear the screaming from Mum and Tyson as they roared at Dad. I couldn’t focus on one word that was being said. Dad had just broken our relationship. And most of all, it was my fault. I pushed him to do it. I think I was stunned that Dad had hit me. He actually lost control and hit me.

I wiped the blood from my mouth and went to get up, and then I was lifted up from the ground by someone else. I didn’t need to even guess who was helping me to my feet—I knew the safety I always felt in his arms. But as soon as my feet were back on the ground, I made sure to push Brad’s hands off me.

I didn’t need to be comforted by Brad right now. I didn’t need pity. I looked Dad in the eye, seeing his rage slowly fade and the realization of what he had just done creep across his face.

Everyone was deathly silent as they looked between Dad and me.

Mum and Tyson had stopped roaring at Dad. Or maybe I had just tuned out all noise. I felt the blood dripping off my lip. I touched it and I didn’t flinch from the pain.

I saw Dad’s mouth open and I didn’t need to hear a word he was going to say because he knew and I knew he wasn’t coming back from this.

Even though it was my fault. I think I was doing the right thing anyway—he needed to be pushed away.

I couldn’t have him seriously dropping the club to make sure I ate. I couldn’t have him taking an interest in my health. It was best that the relationship we did have died and I distanced myself from him.

I saw panic cross his face just as Mum stepped in my view of him.

“Please, Hannah, don’t run.” Mum was basically begging me. I thought Dad was panicking but his panic was nothing compared to Mum’s. “He didn’t mean it. Please, don’t cut us off.” The fear and panic in Mum’s voice was clear. She was basically having a panic attack. “I know you want to run, but please handle this better than what I did when my dad hit me.”

Granddad may have hit Mum, but I was positive that her relationship with her dad was different to the one I had with mine. Our relationship was based on trust and respect, and him hitting me ruled both of those out.

It hurt, and I wasn’t talking about the blood that kept filling my mouth, I was talking about ending the relationship that Dad and I had. I knew this was just one of the stages that had to happen if I was going to keep me having cancer to myself.

Dad knew. I knew. Mum knew. The damage was done.

I opened my mouth, but Mum’s panic overcame her.

“Please, Hannah, you know your Dad didn’t mean it. Don’t move out. Don’t leave. Please.” Mum nervously took my hands. “Don’t run.”

“I’m not running.” I took my hands from her, and Dad pushed her out of the way. But I couldn’t look at him. Instead, I turned, seeing Tatz standing there, shocked—like he didn’t know what to say or what to do or who to look at. “Thanks for the textbook.” I scooped down, picking it up. “I’ll, um, walk you out.”

Tatz was staring at me, like he hadn’t heard me correctly. His eyes bounced off Dad who was standing behind me. Then his eyes hardened on him before slowly coming back to me.

“You made a decision on the Jeep yet?” Tatz reached out, his fingers brushing across my lip. I saw the blood which he wiped on his jeans. “You haven’t eaten, right?” He was trying to be casual but I could hear the anger in his voice.

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