Page 25 of Cage's Downfall

Just me. Trying to deal with the fact that every day that passed my soul turned and twisted and things darkened. My outlook on life was tainted. I was trying to figure out the reason of why I was here. Was I here just to end the lives of others?

I knew I couldn’t change my ways but sinking into this demon way, was going to cause her sorrow because one day my heart would ice over and she wouldn’t understand.

I slipped Autumn off my arm, her rolling onto my pillow. Sitting up on the edge of the bed. My eyes glanced at my dog tags. Another thing that I failed at. Dishonourable discharge against my name.

One day, I knew it was coming, I wasn’t going to come back from the crimes I was committing. Because in the silence, like now, all those voices, all those last looks- from the ones I had killed, filled my mind.

I couldn’t be forgiven.

My soul was in pieces and as I stared across the room at the leather cut, which I wore with pride, which I would die for, was killing me. I knew it.

I reached for my cigarette packet. If I could pinpoint the moment I lost my soul I would. But I couldn’t do it. Because I still had a tiny piece of it left, and that part came out when I was with Autumn. She gave me sanity. She gave me hope. She was- and is- my true north.

So heaven help me when I lose her. Fuck. Heaven help the world when Cage Hurley has no true north. Because with every day that passed, I was becoming grimmer.

Autumn

“Dad?” I knocked on the church boardroom, hoping he was inside. Cracking open the door I find him and Cage talking. They went silent as soon as I came in. “Sorry to interrupt. I just wanted to let you know that—” and I paused, seeing a look in my father's eyes that scared me. “Okay what’s wrong?” I redirected the conversation.

Hawk’s eyes were zoned in on me as if I had done something that had given him a headache. Or extremely pissed him off.

“This.” Hawk shoved a piece of paper across the table. “Want to explain when you became owner of another gym?”

“It happened the other week,” I replied smoothly. Knowing that Hawk and the club wouldn’t take my drug distribution well.

“You’re running steroids through the gyms,” he said coolly. “Why didn’t no one fucking tell me?”

Cage and Aaron had known. That was it.

“Like I said I approved it,” Cage spoke before I did. “Got an issue with it Hawk, look at me not her,” he added and took a puff of his joint. “Autumn didn’t go behind the club’s back. She cut us in. In fact, her money has been floating the club.”

Hawk’s glare went from me to Cage. “I don’t give a fuck about her earning behind the club’s back. I care about my daughter doing a crime that could get her ten years!” His voice went up with rage. His fists clenching on the table. “You say you love her. And you let her do this shit!”

He then slammed his fists down on the bench causing me to jump.

“It’s ending now!” Hawk sneered. “Ain’t no daughter of mine going to prison for ten years for drug trafficking!”

“Dad—”

“Don’t fucking start Autumn!”

I had two options. Fold. Or stand tall and keep making my way in the criminal world.

“I’m not stopping. It’s my operation. I cut the club in like expected. But if you think I’m packing up shop because you are worried your little girl might go to prison you are wrong,” I said sternly in return, locking eyes with him. “I know what I’m doing.”

“Like hell you do! Ya just like ya brother. Testing my fucking limits.” Hawk threw his arms up in the air. “I can’t stop him but I can stop you!”

“That’s just it Dad.” I put my hands on my hips. “You can’t stop me. My gym. My drugs. My operation.”

“You’re my daughter!”

“And this is my livelihood!”

“Well, get a job at a store! Cause you aren’t fucking running drugs on my watch!”

“Well this isn’t your decision!”

He kicked the chair back that he had been sitting on minutes ago- standing up to his full six foot height. “You’ll stop because I say so.”