Page 17 of Cage's Ruin

My hands were clenching his vest, and while I wanted him, I knew I would never have him. Could I be his booty call? I didn’t know if I had the strength in me to wake up in the morning to him gone.

His nipped my lips, waiting for me to say something.

I think that if I had said something, I would have ended it before it began. So my hand ran down his chest, grabbing his hand.

And I led him inside. Knowing Hawk wouldn’t be back tonight. But also knowing come tomorrow, I would either be broken, or whole again.

CAGE

Laying in Autumn’s bed she was asleep curled into my side. It felt so fucking right but so fucking wrong at the same time.

My mind flashed back to the fight I had with Hawk before I came here. Him telling me clearly to stay away from her. Him telling me to leave her to live a life as a bystander from the club.

But the more the weeks went on. The more I knew. I didn’t want to be at that charter without Autumn.

I was torn between stealing her life and putting her back in the lifestyle or letting her free.

I glanced at her face, my eyes running over her beautiful features. I knew in that moment I would never find someone I loved as much as I loved her.

But Autumn is cleaning her life up, going straight. I’m ruining that by being here. I should have listened to Hawk but my need for her outweighed what was right.

I knew that she would never be able to take a back seat in the lifestyle. I knew she would do anything for the club, including more time. I couldn’t have her losing her freedom. No matter how much I tried to protect her. I could always lose her to the lifestyle because Autumn had proved to me, over and over—she wasn’t half in.

I knew it wasn’t fucking right. But I had to do it. I kissed her forehead, her stirring but rolling over and staying asleep.

I grabbed my clothes. Looking at her one last time. I wouldn’t make her a mistress to the lifestyle, and I wouldn’t make a victim of it either.

So I left. And perhaps if I had known just how much damage me coming in and out of her life would do—I would have fucking stayed out of it.

AUTUMN

I woke up on my side, a smile on my face. Rolling over my hand goes to his side of the bed. But he isn’t there. I sit up alert now. Scanning the room. His clothes were gone. No evidence of him ever being here.

I wasn’t stupid I knew he wasn’t getting me breakfast. He was gone.

I wondered how long he waited till he left?

I scoffed. What does it matter Autumn, he waited till you were asleep, too much of a coward to leave while I was awake.

I was nothing but a booty call.

I slipped on a loose tee and walked out towards the bathroom. Opening the door and closing it.

I was alone, with my own thoughts. And that was truly scary.

I see the scar on my wrist and for the hundredth time the thought of I wished I hadn’t survived it, surfaced in my head.

Then I see the razor on the sink—sometimes you have to realize you are losing in an unwinnable situation.

So, I gripped it.

CAGE

Unloading a fucking truck. I wasn’t some darn prospect. Yet here I was doing it. Helping Lit and Vod. Cause fuck knows where the prospects are!

I was moving one of the barrels when I heard Hawk and Jacob arguing.

“She’s pulling away.” Jacob said clearly frustrated.

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