Page 23 of Cage's Ruin

Cage

Opening Autumn’s bedroom door, I’m half surprised to see her awake, sitting up in bed. Her eyes locked on the dresser across the room. I see the numbness in her eyes from here.

“You okay darling?” Even as I ask the question I feel stupid, as she wasn’t okay—I knew that. Yet here I was asking the question.

She nods her head weakly and throws back the blankets getting up. “You can go Cage, I’m fine.”

I narrowed my eyes on her, was she really going to bullshit me?

“I don’t deserve you to love me. I don’t deserve you to be here caring for me. You need to go.” The words comes off her lips and I realized now what she was doing. She was punishing herself. She thought she couldn’t be comforted because of what she had done.

I walked towards her, when I’m standing over her. I cup her face. “Darling you and I are unconditional.”

“Don’t lie to me.” I see her holding back tears. “You can’t like who I am.”

“I don’t.” I say and she looked at me like I had proved her point. “I love you.” And she looks at me like I have lost my mind.

“You love a mother killer, an executioner, a drug dealer?” She challenges me, like she is expecting me to back out. “Don’t lie to me, or yourself.” And she shoved me on the chest, trying to break my hold on her.

“You saying you don’t love me?” I challenged her right back. “That you can’t love me because I deal drugs, which cause mass overdoses, I’ve executed people. Fuck my hands that are cupping your cheeks right now, have squeezed the life out of a mans eyes.”

I don’t hold back the truth.

Her eyes don’t widen with shock.

But she also doesn’t say a word.

“Like I said Autumn, our love for each other is unconditional.”

She tilted her head back up, looking at me. “I can’t love you Cage.” And tears brim in her eyes. “I physically can’t love you, or anything, or anyone.” And the tears drop from her eyes. “I’ve stopped feeling. I felt nothing tonight when I killed that man. I felt nothing ever since I killed my mother and the sick part?” She paused, and inhaled sharply. “I don’t regret either circumstances.”

And perhaps it was the fact there was no emotion in her voice as she spoke, I began to realize, that Autumn and I did have a problem because she had switched off emotions. So while I went to war against the Cartel, I was going to have to somehow get Autumn to feel again to.

I don’t have a solution, but I brushed my lips against hers. And then she kissed me back with no emotion.

I don’t stop, as I grip her over large shirt ripping it off her. Why she slept in baggy clothes when she had a body to flaunt I didn’t know. I continued to kiss her as I backed her against the bed.

Her hand on my cheek, sparks me to keep going.

I nipped her bottom lip and if she thought we weren’t going to fuck like we always did, with no limits because her father was up the hall she was wrong. I wanted to hear her, and I wasn’t planning on going slow or gentle with her.

* * *

“And if anyone has a mother fucking problem with her being here, you can take it up with me.” I declared to the table. I knew some members would be okay with Autumn being back on club land, others wouldn’t be because she hadn’t only just cooked create product but she was refusing to cook for us. Which I understood because I was the one stopping her. Which I had just explained.

I didn’t want Autumn cooking meth for us. I didn’t want her doing anything to do with the club apart from being with me.

Hawk had remained quiet, mainly because I was the one who laid out what was going to happen when it came to Autumn being back here. If one member so much as looked at her the wrong way, I’d be punching their lights out.

“Brother,” Vod said, looking up from his cigarette, “Ain’t no one here got an issue with Autumn being here. I’ve fucking missed her.”

Lit and Wild nodded, fuck even the prospect nodded—who hadn’t even met Autumn. I shot the prospect a glare. But then sat down at the table.

“So this brings us to the beef with the Cartel.” Hawk had the unpleasant job of telling the boys we were at war against them.

As Hawk explained what happened, including why Autumn had killed the man—the table did the opposite of what I was expecting. I expected them to be upset about the war. Instead, they fucking welcomed it.

“She did a year for that!” Wild yelled down the table. “A fucking year of her young life in a maximum prison and now they want to revenge a death of a rat!”

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