Page 5 of Cage's Ruin

I couldn’t go against her wishes.

I watched them talk. Hell. Tonight, it felt like all I did was watch. I weaved out of the crowd and headed for them.

As soon as they realized I was coming, they shut their mouths.

I put my hand up at the prospect for another beer, wrapping my hand around it, standing next to Autumn and Lit.

“You two caught up?” I asked.

Autumn smiled, and I knew immediately it was fake.

She then spun around and I saw her with the rolled up hundred dollar bill and the traces of speed on the bar. Since when did she do hard drugs? I looked between her and the drugs. She saw the judgement in my eyes—and in reply she just smiled at me.

Autumn then threw back two shots off the bar and now I realized what she was doing. She was trying to numb the feeling that comes when freedom is given back to you.

She is trying to numb the doubt that comes when you are freed. That feeling like a piece of you is still locked behind those doors, and that you can’t get back.

That feeling like no one really knew who you were now.

That feeling like everything you had is now gone and you are starting from the beginning.

“Autumn?” I put a hand on her hip. “You keep doing that shit and you won’t sleep for days.”

Her eyes locked with mine, and I saw the distance in them. She was here but most of her, was still back in that prison.

I didn’t know what part scared me more. Seeing the hollowness in her eyes, or seeing the distance mixed with desperation—to feel something—anything.

AUTUMN

A squeal escaped my lips as I sat bolt upright in bed. Nightmares. My heart was beating. It had taken me forever to fall asleep—I was used to noise. Not dead silence.

“Shit Autumn, you okay?”

I glanced at Cage. “Fuck. Sorry I didn’t mean to wake you.”

His hand went to my back. “Ya covered in sweat babe,” He stated a fact. “Nightmare?”

No. It wasn’t really a nightmare. It was a memory. That haunted me—still “Yeah.” I lied. And his eyes hardened on me.

I had been out for a week. Barely had slept in that time.

“Is this about your mom?”

I threw the blankets back, getting up. “No,” and yes. “I’m just not used to the quietness of this place.” What did he expect? I had barely been back a week. “It’s warm, it’s quiet. It feels safe. My guard needs to come down. But I’m waiting for any second for something to happen.”

Cage looked at me with understanding, and flicked the light on. “You know when I got out from my first stint I didn’t sleep for days. Till I got these,” He opened the drawer and then grabbed a bottle, throwing it in my direction. “I know you frown upon drugs. But trust me they help.”

I looked at the drug name. “These are roofies?”

“Yeah. The date rape drug.”

I looked at him. “So you would willingly roofie yourself for sleep?”

“No sleep leads to poor decisions. Can’t make poor decisions around the club.” He was so matter of fact.

I nodded my head. “Hon?” I paused before getting back in bed. “Where is Hawk and Jacob?”

He paused, I think me calling him a pet name, threw him off. God it had been over a year since we had a conversation and we hadn’t really had one.

---