Page 54 of Lust

“Because if he loved me unconditional he wouldn’t have left me while I was beaten up in an induced coma!” And saying it out loud hurts. To the point I’m tearing up. “He never came back to the hospital Elle. He turned and left, as soon as he realized what I was involved in.” I was getting more and more worked up. “He didn’t want me.” And those few words break me and the tears flow. “So why would he want me now?”

Elle bring me into her arms and hugged me, but it doesn’t stop the pain I feel.

A knock on the bathroom door, causes Elle and I both to pull away and see Gabe standing there with a frown on his face. How long had he been hovering?

I wipe the tears away and go back to the mirror, trying to distract myself.

Gabe is giving me a long hard look and I can feel it. So I drop the makeup wipes, the makeup was basically off and I push past Gabe, leaving.

Elle nor Gabe stop me.

So I headed for the garage, knowing I had an imported American Muscle to work on. I just needed a distraction.

36

Ivory

Working over the bonnet of the car, I wasn’t thinking and go to drain the radiator before putting the bucket underneath it. I had already removed the cap and the coolant floods the floor. Fuck my life. I grab the bucket put it under it, but most of it has run on the garage floor. Deflated. Emotional. I sink to the ground, next to the coolant and leaned back against the car.

He was in my head.

And it was showing.

I was lucky that no one was here.

A clearing voice made me glance up, and Kace is standing there. I blink expecting him to disappear but he doesn’t.

“Can we talk?” He said with hesitation in his voice.

“About?” I get up off the ground, coolant up my jeans.

His eyes run over. “What’s wrong with the car?” He changes the subject and I glance back at it.

“Bad radiator it overheats. So I’m replacing it.”

“We can talk while we replace it.”

“I don’t need your help.”

“Yeah. I know that’s part of the problem.” He walks towards me and looks at the radiator. “You’ve drained it, clearly.”

Well that was obvious.

He grabbed the spanner and started undoing the bolts. I paused for a moment before helping, and working so close to him, floods me with memories. I swear by the look in his eyes he is feeling the same.

I feel like I can’t breathe having him so close. So I try and focus but eventually I realize I can’t and I take a step away from the car for a break.

Kace lifts the radiator out. And places it on the ground. I move to the replacement one, which is still in its box. I see a debate playing in his eyes. God one would think he was about to open up about a deep dark secret.

“I was nine.”

I blinked and turned to him. What did he say? He was nine? I frowned.

“When she died.” He adds, and I looked at him, wondering who he was talking about. “My mother was in a car accident. A car ran a red light. She was put on life support for a week.” He looks down at the ground. “Dad turned it off a week after the accident, when there was no brain activity.”

I have no words. I can’t think of anything to say. I hear the emotion in his voice. I hear the pain in his words.

“She just went to the store one day, and then… didn’t come home.” He now looks me in the eyes, and I see grief. “Like I said I was nine when it happened and I never coped with it.” He hand runs over his head. “I just don’t think about it. Suppressed it. That was until, I arrived at the hospital and then I saw you. Just like her.” And he looks me in the eyes. “I’ve loved two women in my life, and I lost her and I thought I was going to lose you.”

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