Page 20 of Ours

Can’t remembera time without him really, he was always there. He was the man to catch me when I fell, and now I was falling again, and he couldn’t save me. I let my guard down with Maddox, just as I did with Hudson and I let Maddox right into my heart—and now… it was as if someone had taken a sledge hammer to my glass heart and shattered it into a million pieces and I was now bleeding out.

My heart had exploded causing unbearable pain to spread through my blood. I was shaking, as the tears continued to run down my cheeks. It was hard. So fucking hard to keep breathing right now. They wanted me to make the call on Maddox’s life support—and I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t turn it off. I just fucking can’t do it.

It’s moments like now, as I hugged his pillow that the taste of his lips, the feeling of safety that would flood my body when I was wrapped in his arms. I was currently wasted on thoughts of him, his touch, his cologne I couldn’t escape him right now. I’m hugging his pillow and a photo frame of us. And as much as I know he wouldn’t want to be on life support—I couldn’t bring myself to tell the doctors it was time to let him go.

I can’t let him go.

There was a knock on my bedroom door and I struggled to put the photo down and let go of the pillow. Maddox’s things were suffocating me in this room. It was like he was on a run and I was waiting for him to come back.

At first, I sort of treated it like that. That he’d be back, and soon. Now… I was slowly realizing that wasn’t going to happen.

I opened the door and Ribs is standing there.

“Everything okay?” I asked, though my voice sounds like crushed glass had torn my throat apart. How long had I been crying for?

Ribs frowned. “I think I should be asking you that question?”

“I’m fine.” I lied. “What’s wrong Ribs?” I wanted to forget my problems for a minute by getting lost in someone else’s problems.

“It’s about Lacie.”

“Okay, what happened?” Had Ribs love affair ended? At the lake, Ribs had told Hudson and I all about his love for a young woman working at the town’s café. Hudson and I gave Ribs some firm advice and he ended up asking Lacie out, and well, so started their love affair.

“I was actually wondering if you could come out for a bit? We wanted to ask you and Hudson something.” Ribs said, “But I get if you don’t want to leave your room.” He added with concern.

“Don’t be stupid,” I then stepped out of the room, locking the door. “Anything wrong?” I asked as we walked down the hall. I was beginning to think if Lacie broke up with Ribs, he wouldn’t take it very well.

Walking into the bar, I see Hudson getting a beer. His eyes locked on to me and I see concern. I quickly looked away. Not wanting to face my problems.

I walked to a table, sinking into a chair. Right now I just wanted to disappear. Then I heard the chair from across me be pulled out and I looked up.

“You gonna tell me what’s wrong?” Hudson said, looking at me, expecting an answer.

“No.” I said dryly and my voice still sounds terrible.

“Gabriella.” He sat his beer down. “Should I be concerned? Did something happen?”

Tears swelled in my eyes. “A car crushed my fiancé and now I’m expected to turn his life support off.” I say my problem out loud. Hudson stared into my eyes for a few minutes.

“So the doctors want you to make the call?” he said, his hand still wrapped around his beer.

I nodded my head.

“Well, you don’t have to make right away.” He says, and doesn’t seem to grasp the pressure I am under. “You’ll know when it is time to make the call, just have some faith Gabriella.”

“Faith.” I scoffed. “Faith is overrated. I had faith that I’d marry him. I had faith we would have kids. Now,” my eyes dropped and I can’t finish the sentence as my mind is darkening and so are my thoughts.

Hudson’s hand covered mine and I looked at him with tears in my eyes.

“Love ain’t fair and it ain’t easy.”

“Love, costed me one heart and I think it’s about to claim my current one too.” I slipped my hand out of his grasp. “I’m sorry. I just can’t talk about it right now.” I looked up seeing Ribs and Lacie. “That’s what love is meant to be,”

Hudson glanced at the happy couple. “I think she is knocked up. Ain’t no man that happy with a woman unless she is carrying her child.”

“You say that like you haven’t give me that sort of smile in your lifetime.” I said, stuffing my hands in my hoodie.

Hudson looked at me, and he didn’t say anything.

---