Page 88 of Timeless

“Amber you were doing what you thought would save Jack at the time. You weren’t given all the options. Tae shouldn’t have even suggested an execution as an option.”

Amber pushed my arm off her and got off me. “There is another thing I fucked up tonight. How the hell am I going to explain to Jack that Will and Tae are out of his life now?” She was still sobbing. I think her lack of sleep wasn’t helping. “How am I meant to tell him that his godfather, who has always been in his life, is now gone? Tae was the only person I let Jack count on to be in his life.” She wiped tears off her cheek. “I let Tae be a fixture in my life and Jack’s.”

“I think Tae will come around. He was just upset tonight.”

“No, he was serious. He has always wanted me to pick. And I did that tonight.” She sighed. “Jack is going to be heartbroken.”

“What stopped you from picking him? He has always been in your life. He helped you raise Jack. He knows a shit more about your life now than I do. I was never there for any of the shit you went through. You already know Jack loves him, so why didn’t you pick him?” I crossed my arms, watching her.

“You are Jack’s father not Tae.”

“But Jack doesn’t know me, he knows Tae and he loves Tae. So, I’m sure Jack would have.”

Her eyes narrowed on me. “So, you’re saying I made a mistake? You saying you wanted me to pick Tae?”

I opened my mouth.

“Jack doesn’t want Tae as a father. He wants you. Because he was brought up knowing every detail about you! He knows who is father is!” Amber was getting more and more upset. “Tae wasn’t his father! Simple. Will wasn’t his father. You are.”

“Amber…”

“No, don’t Amber me!” She snapped at me. “If you wanted me to pick Tae, you should have fucking spoke up! If you really thought you couldn’t be the man I know you can be, then you should have said something!”

I opened my mouth again to get a word in.

“Do you know how hard it is!?” She picked up something from inside one of the boxes and threw it at my head. “Do you have any idea how I’ve been feeling all these years?”

I dodged the photo frame. “Amber, you need to calm down.”

She scoffed, “Yeah, that’s your favor line. Amber, calm down. Amber, you are overreacting. Amber, you are going to cost me the club. Amber, do as I tell you,” she mocked me. “All these years, I’ve been forced to think, what would Jax think, every time I made a decision about Jack. What would Jax say? What would Jax want?”

I kept quiet, she clearly needed to get this shit off her chest.

She waved a hand at me and scoffed. “Now you are back. And I can’t…” Her words dried up and pain slowly crept across her eyes.

“And you can’t what?” I got up, expecting her to back away from me, but she remained still. I didn’t want to spook her, so I gently placed a hand on her side. “You can’t stop hating me? You can’t have me in your house? What?”

She did something I wasn’t expecting, she unclenched her hands and slowly lifted her hand to my face, her fingers tracing my jaw. “I can’t help but worry I’ll do more damage to your life than good.”

That was what she was worried about?

“Amber you have only ever made my life better.” I dipped my head. “Don’t ever think otherwise. You have no idea how much I love you.”

Her tears had only just slowed down but now they increased. “How can you say that to me? When I cost you six years of your life? Six years of being in your son’s life? Hell, I kept your son from you!” She shook her head, quickly dismissing everything I had said. “And on top of that, tonight I nearly make you watch me kill myself and I destroyed your one of a kind, classic motorcycle. I know how much you loved that bike.”

All the things she listed were true but not one of them mattered to me. I didn’t care about the six years in prison. I’d fucking do it again, if it meant she wouldn’t be locked up. As for the bike, well, it didn’t even come close to being as important as she was.

“I know how you can make all that shit right. If you really want to make up for it?”

She eyes bounced up. “I can’t give you back six years of Jack’s life.”

“Not asking for that.”

“I can’t take back hiding him from you.”

“Not wanting that either.”

She crossed her arms. “Then how do you suggest I make up for all my fuck ups? Come on. It must be one hell of a thing you want from me, to make up for all the shit I’ve put you through.”

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