Page 199 of Never Tell Lies

I worked harder, dreading the moment when I would have to think about the loudest voice of all. There she was, at the back of my head, sitting side by side with the nagging voice that had prevented me from sending the college rejection letter I’d typed out this morning.Keira.

We hadn’t spoken for two days. It wasn’t the end of the world. We’d gone longer without speaking before, but that connection between us was broken now. I missed her but I hated her for forcing me to confront a possibility I couldn’t bear to consider. If he had done this…No. He hadn’t. But his behaviour last night…It was a mistake, he hadn’t meant it. It was okay. We were going to be fine.

That night, the sound of Ryan giggling in the bathtub and Natalie’s laughter echoed up the stairs as I got my room ready to be left behind. Packing everything away seemed too final, as if I would never come back to it, so I settled on cleaning itinstead. It was a painful process. My red dress still lay discarded on the floor and I stuffed it into a bin bag with a heavy heart. I knew Alfie would buy me other dresses but the thought wasn’t as comforting as it should be.

I wondered what I should take with me. Everything I owned seemed inappropriate for the new world I was stepping into and taking anything personal out of this room seemed sacrilegious, like stealing a statue of Jesus from a church. No. I’d leave it all here, waiting for me when I came back to visit. I was jolted out of my contemplations at the sound of the doorbell. I ran down the stairs, yelling to Natalie that I would get it. I opened the door and found Mike standing on the other side of the door.

“Miss O’Connell, Mr Tell informed me that you had some items in your van that you required help with moving?” Keira’s belongings. My heart warmed with gratitude that he’d remembered, reminding me that he had such potential for kindness.

“Yes, thank you. I’ll just get the keys.”

I met Mike out by my van. I opened the back doors, trying not to look at the dent that was left there after Adam had forced me up against it.

“I’ll take it from here, Miss.” I looked up to find Mike’s stern eyes on me. There was no kindness there. Not like Elliot. Memories of Elliot snapping Adam’s wrist flashed through my mind…Maybe he wasn’t as kind as I’d thought.

I handed the keys over and watched as he pulled Keira’s green armchair out, holding it as if it were a feather-light pillow. “Just tell me where to put it.”

“My bedroom.” He gave me a short nod and set about his work. I went into the kitchen and made a cup of tea, listening to him make the trips up and down the stairs.

It didn’t take long. Twenty minutes later he found me in the kitchen wondering why he hadn't needed directions to mybedroom. But at this point, it no longer surprised me that Alfie and his people could get into every corner of my life.

“All done, Miss.” He handed my keys over. “I’m to take you to Mr Tell as soon as you are ready.” My nephew’s giggles permeated the air once again and I felt a pang but pushed it down, reminding myself that I was spending tomorrow night with them for my birthday. I nodded and told him I wouldn’t be long. Mike had done a good job of arranging Keira’s things in an orderly pile. It looked out of place in my chaotic room. I spent half an hour restoring a new order to my belongings and packing an overnight bag before shouting goodbye to Natalie and Ryan and heading out the door.

I found Alfie as I’d found him so many times over the last few weeks—hunched over his desk, consumed by his work and surrounded by a dozen vases of bleeding hearts. His eyes found mine and I saw the uncertainty there. I felt it too. I’d felt it all day. The last few days had been a roller-coaster I never wanted to ride ever again and now that we’d gotten off, neither of us seemed to be quite sure what position the other had landed in.

Alfie’s expression was dark and hooded. My stomach turned over. I hated business Alfie, but I was tired of the tension between us so I decided to break cover first and hope for the best. I crossed the room and squeezed my way between him and his blueprints for the Milan build. I perched on his desk and his mouth tilted in an amused smirk as his plans crinkled under my backside. A warm relief spread through me at the sight of that smirk. Alfie was so often lost to me when he was working, but for right now he seemed to be here with me. We seemed to be on the same wavelength again.

“Comfortable, O’Connell?”

“Yep.” I relaxed into a grin. “Did you eat yet?”

“No. I prefer eating with you.” My heart swelled. He’d waited for me.

“I’ll order something.” I moved to hop off my perch but his hands circled my calves, keeping me still.

“I need to say something first.” I was instantly alert, bracing for the impact of whatever was about to land on me. I stayed silent, waiting for him to voice his thoughts. His gaze fixated on his thumbs, rubbing small circles into my skin. “Lola, what I did last night…It was wrong.”

I paused, surprised at his admission. “We settled that this morning, Alfie. We both?—”

“I’m not talking about the sex. I’m talking about Angie.” My breath caught. I couldn’t believe he was bringing this up on his own. He frowned and I could see the cogs turning in his beautiful mind as he worked so hard to find the right words. “I meant what I said about you needing to control yourself when we’re in public, but the way I spoke to you was unacceptable.” He looked up at me, his gaze holding mine. “Lola, I’m sorry.” Time stopped. Alfie Tell had just apologised to me. The man who said he only ever apologised if it was court ordered. The moment stretched out around me…I didn’t know what to do with it. I let out a laugh.

“You know I don’t have a court order, right?”

“You know I’m not the same man I was when we met, right?” Once again, he stole my words away. Was that true? Everything with Alfie was always one tip-toed step forward and two giant strides backwards. Had I been blind to all the changes happening underneath his steel exterior?

“I understand that Angie is a problem for you and I understand why. Angie has feelings for me. I’ve known it for a while. I have made it clear that those feelings aren’t reciprocatedbut I…” He snapped his mouth closed, opened it, then closed it again. His eyes were those of a man with his mouth sewn shut. He sighed, frustrated with his bound tongue.

“Lola, there are parts of my life that are heinously ugly, parts that I have hidden and kept secret. Those secrets hang in a precarious balance and Angie is wrapped up in them. I know that you don’t trust her, but I am asking you to trustmewith her.” He took my chin, forcing me to look at him. “If I wanted her, I would have her already.” That was true and a large part of me believed it, but…

“She fits you so much better than I do,” I whispered, not wanting to hear my deepest insecurities spoken out loud.

“Yes, she knows the difference between a fish fork and a salad fork, but she has never made me truly laugh. Not once. She’s never thrown food at me or pulled me into a jacuzzi or designed a garden for me or called a presidential suite a shit hole.” He cupped my face and I couldn’t miss the truth in his eyes. He meant every word. Despite how cruel and manipulative he could be, his affection for me was undeniable.

“I can’t get rid of her, Lola, and I can’t tell you why. I know I’m asking a lot of you, but please just trust me.” I studied the man in front of me. I hated this, hated the thought of seeing her smug smirk every day, but what choice did I have?

“I’ll try, but I need to know those secrets, Alfie. Accepting Angie would be easier if I knew why she needed to be a part of your life.”

“I know, but some things are best left in the past.”

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