Page 2 of Dreams and Desires

Comforting. Yeah right!

It sucks. I think about school sometimes, and it just comes back all at once. I was that quiet goth girl in the back. Always wearing too much eyeliner. Carrying too much weight. Never enough confidence. People saw me as an easy target. I had a couple friends, sure. Other kids like me. Outcasts. But even they weren’t the kind to step in or say something. No one ever did. No one ever said anything. No one stopped it. I was just there, getting picked on like it was normal, and everyone acted like they did not see it.

So, I kept to myself mostly. Wrote everything down in my journals like that was the only place I was allowed to exist. I really believed that was how life was gonna be forever.

Then Dominique walked in.

She walked into homeroom holding her books tight, like if she let go of them she might fall apart. Her skin was golden, her hair full of these dark curls that bounced with every step. She looked scared. Not just nervous—really scared. The kind of fear you get when everything around you feels unfamiliar.

Even though I had been in Cody my whole life, I recognized that look. I knew what it was like to feel out of place.

So I raised my hand. Just a little.

“Seat’s open here,” I said.

Just hearing me seemed to calm her. I saw her shoulders drop a little as she sat down next to me, like her whole body let go of the tension it had been holding.

By lunch we traded snacks. By Friday we swapped playlists. July brought me to her family cabin across the river. Her parents treated me like I mattered. With her close, Cody felt almost gentle.

But senior year wrecked all of that. One night. One rumor. That was all it took. Everything just… fell apart. People stopped talking to me. Turned their backs. Jacob and Dominique were the only ones who stayed close—at first.

But then Dominique started acting weird too. I tried to pretend it was nothing, but I knew. The looks. The fake smiles. The way she stopped sitting with me. It was all there.

I did not want to believe it at first. I kept hoping it would blow over. But every time I walked into school and saw people whispering or looking away, I knew.

After that, I couldn’t go back.

Just thinking about that time kind of hurts. Like, deep down. A tear slips down my cheek before I even realize it, and I wipe it away quick, hoping no one saw.

I pull out my phone and open the selfie camera. Just checking. I still look like me—same dark eyeliner, deep maroon lipstick, same old glasses. The goth thing never really went away, I guess. That was me back then. Still is now.

I fix the lipstick, shove a loose piece of hair behind my ear, then slide my phone back into my pocket.

Ready or not, Cody. I’m back.

The train finally slows into the station. I hesitate a moment, nerves making my stomach roll, then grab my things and step out onto the platform.

The station looks just the same—small, busy, full of people rushing about. I hop in a taxi and give the driver our street. The ride feels like flipping through a scrapbook. There is Mellie’s Diner where we nursed milkshakes and homework. The skate park where Jacob broke his wrist and swore the ramps were haunted. The ice-cream parlor with chipped pink paint. The high school crouches like a brick beast. My stomach flips.

The cab stops at the house. White fence. Trim lawn. Pink geraniums line the walkway like soldiers. It looks wholesome. I know better.

I pay the fare and walk up. My knock sounds louder than normal. The door opens.

Jacob stands there. He looks thinner. Pale. His eyes still shine. “Juniper.” I can hear the weakness clearly when he speaks.

I drop my bag and suitcase right there and pull him into a hug. "I missed you," I choke out, throat tight.

“I am glad you came.”

The smell of Mom’s pot roast drifts out. Then I see my parents in the hallway. Their backs stiff. Their eyes guarded.

“Juniper,” Mom says. Her arms cross.

I nod once. “Jacob asked me.”

Dad’s jaw tightens. “He didn’t tell us.”

Jacob clears his throat, the sound thin. “I need her.”

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