Page 40 of Dreams and Desires

She looks up at me, her expression softening, the fight draining out of her. “Why are you so nice to me?”

I chuckle softly, shaking my head. “I’m not always nice. But you... you bring out something different in me.”

She reaches out, her fingers brushing against my cheek, her touch light, almost hesitant. “Zade...”

I catch her hand, holding it for a moment, feeling the warmth of her skin against mine. “Juniper, I don’t know what’s happening between us, but I know it’s not something I can just walk away from.”

She pulls her hand back, her eyes dropping to the floor, and I can see the doubt creeping in again. “Zade, I don’t know if I can give you what you want.”

“What do you mean?” I ask, wanting to understand, needing to hear her say it.

She takes a deep breath, her voice trembling as she speaks. “Guys like you don’t fall for girls like me. Whatever this... this is,” she gestures between us, her hands shaking slightly, “it’s going to break me.”

“Why? Why do you say that?” I ask, leaning in closer, my eyes searching hers for answers.

She looks away, tears brimming in her eyes, her voice barely audible as she speaks. “Because people can be cruel. In high school, I was bullied for being fat. I had one friend who always supported me. But in senior year, I fell for someone... the high school heartbreaker. I thought he was different, that he really liked me.”

“What happened?” I ask softly, not wanting to push too hard but needing to understand the pain in her voice.

She takes a deep breath, her voice trembling. “It doesn’t matter now. The thing is, it was all my fault. It was my fault for being naive, stupid, and trusting. That guy broke me in more ways than anyone can. But in the end, it’s all on me.”

I don’t say anything at first. Her story hits hard, and I’m still taking it in. Finally, I manage, “Juniper, I’m so sorry.”

She nods, tears streaming down her face, and I can hear the tremor in her voice, the way it staggers and stumbles—clearly from the alcohol that’s loosened her guard. “That’s why I can’t trust easily. Why I’m so guarded.But with you, I want to feel safe, Zade. I think... I think I’m falling in love with you, and it scares me. Scared of getting hurt again, scared of being vulnerable. But I can’t help it. Every time I’m around you, I feel something I’ve never felt before. You make me feel alive, seen, and cherished in a way I didn’t think was possible.”

Her words hang in the air, raw and full of emotion, and I can see how much it’s costing her to admit this. I don’t know how to respond. No one has ever said anything like that to me before. The idea that someone could love me, with all my flaws and scars, is almost too much to comprehend.

But I’m not going to let her see that. I can’t afford to let her see how much her words have shaken me. Instead, I just nod, my face impassive, giving nothing away. “You don’t have to decide anything tonight, Juniper. Just rest.”

She nods, her eyes fluttering closed as exhaustion finally takes over. I sit there for a moment, watching her sleep, her face serene. She looks so vulnerable, so open, and for a moment, I feel something stir inside me—something I haven’t felt in a long time.

But I push it down, bury it deep, where it can’t get in the way. This isn’t the time for emotions. This is the time for strategy, for making sure everything goes according to plan. Gently, I reach over and remove her glasses, setting them on the side table.

I stand up, pulling the covers over her as she sleeps. “Goodnight, Juniper,” I whisper, barely making a sound, knowing she won’t hear me.

I linger for a moment, just watching her breathe, her chest rising and falling so steadily. She looks so peaceful, so completely unaware of the mess I’ve stirred up. I lean in closer, the words tumbling out of me like I’m confessing something I never wanted her to know. “I’m sorry, Juniper... The plan worked just like I wanted. My job was to keep you busy while Brian and my team moved ahead with the resort plans.”

I swallow hard, feeling the gnawing guilt in the pit of my stomach as I inch even closer. My words drop to a breath. “But don’t worry. I told Brian to keep you out of it, to make sure none of this touches you. You won’t get hurt. I won’t let that happen. You’ll walk away from this without a scratch.”

I pause, and reality crashes down on me. “I wish it didn’t have to be this way, but you need to know... Winning—it’s all I’ve ever known. It’s who I am. But you... you’ve become something I never saw coming. And I don’t think I’m ready for it.”

Saying that I kiss her cheek and start packing my bag.

Chapter Eighteen

Juniper

I wake up groggy, my head pounding like someone’s playing drums inside it. I should know better by now—drinking always does this to me. But then, last night comes crashing back. Zade and me. Oh, my God. I stretch my arm out, expecting to feel the warmth of Zade’s body next to me, but instead, my fingers meet nothing but cold, empty sheets. Confusion grips me as I sit up, scanning the room frantically. Zade’s belongings, his suitcase, his jacket—they’re all gone. A knot of panic tightens in my chest. Where could he have gone? Why would he just leave like this?

I stumble out of bed, the chill of the morning air prickling my skin. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and what I see isn’t pretty—hair tangled in a messy knot, heavy bags under my eyes. I look like a wreck, like someone who had a really bad night. Splashing cold water on my face, I try to shake off the fog in my head. The icy splash jolts me awake, but my reflection in the mirror still looks haunted, my eyes wide with worry, my lips pressed into a thin, tense line.

As I smooth down my hair and pull on my shoes, a wave of anxiety crashes over me. Something feels wrong. It’s a gut feeling, but it’s damn strong.

I rush down to the reception desk, my thoughts spinning wildly. The receptionist looks up from her computer with a polite, almost too kind smile, her eyes crinkling at the corners as she meets my gaze.

“Good morning, Ms. Harding. Can I help you with something?”

“Where’s Zade?” I ask, struggling to keep the rising panic out of my voice. “Mr. Patterson. He was here last night.”

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