Page 49 of Dreams and Desires

I put on a movie. Not because I want to watch it. I just need some kind of noise to block everything else out.

It doesn’t work.

I can’t even follow what’s happening on screen. It all slips past me while my brain keeps throwing up pictures of Zade.

I stand up and start doing stuff. Pointless stuff. I sort the pantry. I fold towels I already folded yesterday. Then I fold them again. Anything to keep my hands busy. Anything to stop thinking about him.

The day drags on, each minute stretching into an eternity. I glance at the clock; it’s barely past noon, but it feels like I’ve been stuck in this loop for days. The snow outside grows heavier, the light from the sun fading into a gray haze that presses in on the cabin, making it feel smaller and more suffocating.

I snatch up my phone. I need something to do. Someone to yell at. Dominique, probably. She’s the one who told Zade where I was. I should chew her out for that. But the screen stays blank. No bars. No service. Just perfect.

I drop the phone on the couch. Hard. Not enough to break it, just enough to feel like I did something. My jaw clenches. I don’t know what else to do with myself.

The thought of him out there, possibly freezing, bothers me until I can’t take it anymore. What if something happened to him? What if he’s out there, freezing to death, and I’m just ignoring him, too stubborn to check?

“Damn it, Zade,” I grumble, yanking on my coat. “Why do you have to make everything so difficult?”

I step outside, the cold hitting me like a wall. The snow crunches under my boots, each step louder than it should be in the quiet of the forest. The trees are covered with snow, their branches drooping, creating a canopy that muffles everything. The world is silent, except for the occasional drip of melting snow and the hiss of my breath in the cold air.

“Zade?” I call out in a shaky voice as I approach the tent. “Are you in there?”

No response. The tent sits there, covered in snow and lifeless. Anxiety claws at my insides, and I reach for the zipper, my fingers numb from the cold.

Before I can pull it down, the flap flies open, and I’m yanked inside, a startled gasp escaping my lips as I land on Zade’s chest. His body is warm and solid, and for a moment, I just lie there.

I look up, and my breath catches. Zade’s face is so close; his eyes are dark and intense, and his breath is warm on my cheek. His hair is damp and tousled, with a few strands falling over his forehead, and his stubble is rough against my skin. Despite the cold, heat radiates from him, seeping into me, making me realize just how freezing it is out here.

“What the hell, Zade?” I try to get out, trying to push myself up, but he doesn’t let go.

“I knew you’d come to check on me,” he murmurs, a faint smirk creeping onto his lips, irritating me just as much as it makes my heart skip a beat.

I try to ignore the way my chest tightens and the way his touch sends shivers down my spine.“Let go of me,” I snap, trying to wriggle free, but his arms stay firm around me, keeping me pressed against him.

"Not until you hear me out," he mutters, quieter now, almost begging. "I just wanna talk, Juniper." There’s something in his voice that makes my resolve falter—something raw and desperate. He’s here because he needs to be, because he’s trying, even if he’s going about it in the most frustrating way possible.

“Zade...” I start, but my voice trails off. I hate how much I want to believe him, how much I want to give in. But I can’t. Not again.

He leans in, his lips finding mine in a kiss that’s rough and desperate, like he’s trying to pour everything he can’t say into that one moment. For a second, I kiss him back, my body betraying me again, but then reality slams into me, and I tear myself away, stumbling out of the tent.

"Juniper!" he yells behind me, all tangled up with confusion and something I don't recognize.

But I don’t stop. I need to get away, to put distance between us, before I do something I’ll regret. My heart is racing, and my thoughts are spinning as I run back to the cabin. I slam the door behind me, leaning against it as I try to catch my breath, my chest heaving. Damn him. Damn him for making me feel like this. His touch still lingers on my skin, the warmth of him, and it’s driving me crazy.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Zade

The third day in the woods feels like it’s stretching on forever. But last night, Juniper came out, and we kissed. She pulled back like she’d touched fire, but I know she felt something. I’m not giving up on her.

The morning air is brutal, slicing through me like a knife. After spending an hour chopping firewood, my shirt smells like sweat and clings to my skin, irritating me even more. The cold bites at me relentlessly, and I strip off my shirt, letting the icy air hit my skin. It’s shocking—almost refreshing in a way. Out here, every little thing feels more intense, like the wilderness is reminding me how far I am from my comfort zone.

I’m halfway through pulling on a fresh shirt when I hear something—rustling in the brush. At first, I think it’s just some raccoon, but then I see her—a doe, stumbling into the clearing. My breath catches as I watch her struggle; something is clearly wrong.

“Easy there, girl,” I murmur, keeping my voice low, trying not to spook her. I take a cautious step closer, moving slowly. “I’m not going to hurt you, I promise.”

The doe hesitates, her big, dark eyes locking onto mine, but she doesn’t bolt. She’s too hurt to go anywhere fast. I’m about to move closer when I notice a thin line of blood trailing down her hind leg. My chest tightens as I realize what’s wrong—a tangle of barbed wire is wrapped around her leg, biting into her flesh.

“Damn,” I mutter under my breath. This is bad.

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