Page 52 of Dreams and Desires

“Don’t say that, Jacob,” I snap, but there’s no real bite in my words, just a weariness that I can’t seem to shake.

A few hours pass, and the time comes for Jacob to leave. I walk him to the door, my heart heavy at the thought of him going back to Cody, back to the treatments that are taking so much out of him. Zade’s still outside, leaning against thecar with his arms crossed, looking like he’s been waiting forever.

“I’ll come visit again soon,” Jacob promises, giving me one last hug before climbing into the passenger seat.

“I’ll hold you to that,” I say, trying to keep my voice steady.

As Zade helps Jacob into the car, our eyes meet for a brief moment, and something passes between us—something I don’t have the strength to name. He doesn’t say anything, just gives me a small nod before getting into the driver’s seat and pulling away.

The car disappears down the driveway, and I’m left standing alone in the cold, watching the snowflakes drift down from the gray sky. The cabin feels emptier than ever as I head back inside, the warmth of the fire doing little to chase away the chill that’s settled deep in my bones.

????????????????????

Two weeks pass, and Zade still won’t quit. He’s been parked outside the cabin like he’s made up his mind to stay forever. Every morning, I watch from the window as he drives off toward the city, and the second his car disappears, I shut the window and pretend I’m not waiting for him. The quiet gets to me more when he’s gone. It’s not peaceful anymore. Just empty.

I should feel happy that he goes away every day, at least for a while, and that I finally have my space back. But instead, I just feel this empty, sad feeling inside. It’s silly, really. Today, I am a bit on edge. Why am I missing that jerk? I shake my head, trying to clear my thoughts. It doesn’t matter how I feel. What matters is that he’s gone for the day, and I can finally have some peace.

But just as I start to relax with a book, I hear a car approaching again. My heart skips a beat, and I tell myself it’s probably just someone lost or a delivery truck. But when I peek out the window, I see Zade’s car pulling up again.

He gets out of the car, holding something. I can’t tell what it is. My chest tightens. I feel that weird rush again—part of me wants him gone. The other part... I don’t even know what it wants.

What the hell is he doing back here?

I shift back from the window, jaw tight. He’s always showing up when I finally start to breathe again.

He doesn’t knock this time. He just stands outside, holding a thermos. I stare at him through the window, trying to decide if I should ignore him or go see what he wants.

The way he stands there, looking so sure of himself, annoys me. But there’s also something about his stubbornness that pulls at me, making it hard to stay mad. Finally, I can’t stand it anymore. I throw on my coat and step outside, the cold air biting at my cheeks. “What are you doing here, Zade?” I ask, trying to sound annoyed.

He holds out the thermos with a small smile. “Thought you might want some hot chocolate. It’s freezing out here.”

I hesitate, torn between telling him to go away and feeling a little warm inside at the nice gesture. I reach out and take the thermos, the warmth spreading through my cold fingers. “Thanks,” I mumble, trying to keep the annoyance in my voice.

Zade just nods, his eyes on mine. “Mind if I stick around for a bit?”

I should say no. I should tell him to get lost. But instead, I find myself nodding and stepping back to let him come inside. “Fine. But don’t think this means I’m forgiving you.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he says with a little smirk as he steps inside.

We sit on the porch as the sun sets behind the trees. The fire crackles inside, but out here, it’s just us and the cold. I hold the mug of hot chocolate, trying to focus on anything but him.

Zade leans back in his chair, staring out at the woods. It’s quiet, and I’m about to make an excuse to leave when he speaks.

“So is this your cabin?” he asks, and I shake my head.

“Dominique’s parents have had this cabin for years,” I start. “Jacob and I used to come here when we were kids with our family.”

Zade’s eyes soften, and he leans forward. “Must be hard. This place holds a lot of memories.”

“It does,” I admit, feeling a bit nostalgic. “Good ones, mostly. We’d explore the woods, pretending we were on adventures. Jacob was always the brave one. I got scared of every little noise.”

Zade chuckles warmly. “I can’t imagine you being scared of anything.”

I roll my eyes, but I can’t help smiling. “Oh, trust me, I was a chicken. I still am when it comes to some things.”

“Like what?” he asks, teasing but curious.

“Like... spiders,” I say with a grimace. “And heights. And, apparently, people who are bad for me.”

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