Page 54 of Dreams and Desires

Zade

As I stand there, locked in a silent standoff with Juniper, every inch between us buzzes like the moments before a storm. Her eyes blaze with fury and hurt—emotions she’s struggling to bury deep. But I can’t back down. Not now, not when I’m this close to breaking through and proving I’m more than the lies and the mess I’ve made. Every time I inch closer, she pushes me away, stacking walls faster than I can tear them down.

“Why can’t you just get out of my life?” She whispers, her voice shaking with the vulnerability she’s trying so hard to hide.

“Because I’m not giving up on us,” I reply, desperation creeping into my voice. I’m pleading not just for forgiveness but for a chance—one I know I don’t deserve but need more than anything.

She laughs, a harsh sound that cuts deep. “Us? There was never an us, Zade. I was just a piece on your chessboard.”

“No, Juniper! What I felt for you was real. I know I messed up, and I hate myself for it every day. But I need you to believe that I’m trying to be better.”

“Trying to be better doesn’t change what happened,” she snaps, disbelief laced in her voice. “You think a few words can undo everything? That we can just pretend none of it happened?”

“I’m not trying to erase anything.” The words come out hard. “I just want a shot to fix it. That’s it.”

“You don’t get to make things right, Zade! You destroyed everything. You lied, you manipulated me, and now you think a few pretty words will fix it?”

“No,” I admit, my heart sinking. “But I have to start somewhere.”

She stares at me, her chest rising and falling with each heavy breath. “I want you to leave. I want you to stay away from me and never come back.”

Her words hit me like a punch to the gut. “I can’t just walk away from you. All I’m asking for is a chance.”

She shakes her head, her expression hardening. “I don’t owe you anything.”

I can’t take it anymore. I shut the door behind me and pull her into my arms. She doesn’t resist, her body soft against mine, but there’s hesitation, like her body wants me, but her heart is unsure. Suddenly, she slaps me hard across the face, but I don’t flinch. Instead, I grab her wrists, pulling her closer and forcing her to face me. “Juniper, stop!”

“Let go of me!” she screams, struggling against my grip.

“Listen to me,” I plead, my voice raw. “I’m not leaving you. Not again. Because... I have feelings for you. So deep, even I can’t make sense of them.”

She stares at me, her eyes burning with anger and hurt. I take a step closer, reaching out. “Juniper, I—”

Her hand smacks my face again before I can finish but I keep on holding her gaze. “I love you,” I finally admit.

She’s breathing hard, and I see the struggle in her eyes. The silence between us feels endless, filled with everything we can’t say. My heart sinks as I turn and walk toward the door, the heaviness of it all pulling me down.

Just as my hand brushes the doorknob, her voice breaks the tension. “Zade, don’t go.”

I freeze, then slowly turn back to her. She’s right there, closer than I expected, and her eyes are intense. Without warning, she grabs my shirt, yanking me down to her as she rises onto her tiptoes. Her lips crash into mine, fierce and full of everything we’ve both been holding back.

I wrap my arms around her, pulling her close, feeling her tremble against me. The kiss is raw, messy, and full of the pain and love we’ve tried to ignore.

We move, totally driven by urgency yet somehow held back by hesitation. Both of us are unsure of what we’re doing but too far gone to stop. Clothes are shed, like we’re peeling away more than just fabric.

I press her down onto the bed, my hands exploring her body with a gentleness that surprises even me. I kiss her neck, her collarbone, and herskin, which is warm under my lips.Her breaths grow uneven, and her body responds to every touch and every kiss, despite the anger still simmering between us.

She tenses as I move inside her, and I slow down, searching her face for any sign of discomfort. When I see the flicker of pain in her eyes, I stop cold.

“Juniper...” I whisper, fear lacing my voice as I look down. “You’re... bleeding.”

Her eyes snap open, meeting mine with defiance and something else—something fragile. “It’s nothing,” she says, but her voice wavers.

“Juniper,” I say again, more gently this time. “Are you a virgin?”

She nods, just barely. “I was.”

The realization slams into me—guilt, protectiveness, something deeper all at once. “Why didn’t you tell me?” My voice is gentle, trying to keep the panic out.

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