Page 70 of Dreams and Desires

“For you, Juniper, I want to change. I want to be a better man. A man you deserve,” I whisper, the admission costing me more than I thought it would. It’s like ripping open an old wound and letting her see the parts of me I’ve kept hidden for so long.

Her eyes fill with tears, and she closes the distance between us, placing a hand on my chest. The warmth of her touch seeps into me, grounding me in a way I didn’t know I needed. “Zade, you don’t have to give up who you are. I just... I just want you to see that there’s more to life than winning.”

I nod, swallowing hard. “I’m starting to see that. But it scares the hell out of me, Juniper. I’ve never been good at losing. But if it means not losing you, I’m willing to try.”

There’s a long silence, filled only by the crackling of the fire and the unspoken emotions hanging in the air between us. Finally, she gives me a small, tremulous smile, one that’s filled with both hope and fear. “You don’t have to do this alone, Zade. Maybe... maybe we can find a way to win together.”

Her words are like a balm to the ache in my chest, soothing the fear and uncertainty that have been plaguing me. I take her hand in mine, squeezing it gently, and for the first time in a long while, I feel like maybe, just maybe, there’s a way forward. “I’d like that,” I say. My tone is hoarse and thick with emotion. “I’d like that a lot.”

Then, without another word, I pull her into my arms. As I hold Juniper close, feeling her warmth against me, it’s like the world finally makes sense for once. There’s a peace here that I’ve been chasing for longer than I care to admit. But even with her in my arms, there’s this gnawing feeling at the back of my mind, something that keeps me from fully sinking into the moment. I know what it is, too—it’s the mess I’ve made, the mess I need to fix, and I can’t just let it sit there any longer.

I pull back slightly, just enough to meet her gaze—those eyes that always seem to see right through me. There’s concern there and curiosity too, like she knows I’m about to drop something on her. “Juniper, I’ve been thinking,” I start, keeping my voice soft, though there’s a weight to what I’m about to say. “I’m going to organize a grand party. Something big, something where I can announce that I’m pulling out of the project.”

She looks at me like I’ve just told her I’m planning to juggle flaming swords. Her eyebrows pull together, and I can see the confusion written all over her face. “A party? Zade, why do we need a party for that? Can’t you just... I don’t know, make a public statement or something?”

I can’t help the smirk that tugs at my lips. Her straightforwardness is one of the things I love most about her—always cutting right to the chase. But this? This is about more than just a simple announcement. “Trust me, you’ll see,” I say, tryingto keep the tone light even though this idea is anything but.

She’s still skeptical, and I can see her trying to figure out what the hell I’m getting at. But this isn’t just about the town or the project. In my mind, it’s all for her. They’ll see it too, that everything I’m doing is for her.

But what I don’t say—what I keep locked up inside—is that every move I’m making now, every plan, every gesture, is all for her. To show her that I’m not the man I used to be and that she’s the reason I’m willing to turn my back on everything I thought I wanted. This town, this damn project—all of it means nothing compared to her.

Chapter Thirty-Six

Juniper

The next morning dawns crisp and clear, and I wake up to the smell of coffee. As I stretch and sit up, Zade walks in, already dressed and looking determined. “Morning, sleepyhead,” he says with a grin. “I have plans for us today.”

I rub my eyes, still groggy. “Plans? What kind of plans?”

He hands me a steaming mug of coffee. “Shopping. You need something special for the party I’m planning.”

I blink, trying to process. “Shopping? Zade, I’m more of an online shopping girl.”

He chuckles, shaking his head. “Not today. You’re a store-shopping girl now. Get ready. We’re heading out in an hour.”

I get ready quickly. Zade has always been full of surprises, but this is new territory for me. Shopping for something special, something that will make me feel beautiful—it’s not something I’m used to. I pull on a long sweater dress, pairing it with knee-high boots.

When I step out of the bedroom, Zade is waiting by the door, his eyes lighting up when he sees me. “You look great,” he says, and I can’t help but smile at his enthusiasm.

The drive to the boutique is pleasant, with Zade chatting about his plans for the event and how important it is for him to have me there. He’s careful not to reveal too much, keeping some elements of the night a surprise.

When we arrive at the boutique, I immediately feel out of place. The shop is filled with sleek, trendy clothes—none of which seem designed for someone of my size. Zade walks in confidently, but I hang back, feeling the stares of the salespeople.

“Can I help you?” The saleswoman, a stick-thin figure in her early 20s, chirps. Her voice is all sugary-sweet politeness. Seeing Zade, her eyes light up like he’s the last slice of cake at a party, and she’s been starving all day. But when her eyes land on me, they’re busy scanning me up and down like I’m some kind of alien species.

“We’re looking for a dress,” Zade says, gesturing towards me.

The saleswoman’s smile tightens, barely hiding her disdain as she sizes me up. “Sorry, we don’t carry sizes that big.” Her voice carries a hint of finality, but then she quickly shifts gears. “But if you're interested in suits, we have plenty.” She pulls a jacket from the rack and smoothly drapes it over Zade's shoulders. “This will look perfect on you, especially with those beautiful blue eyes.” Her attention is locked on him, completely ignoring my presence.

The lion, the witch, the audacity of this bitch!

I’m burning with embarrassment, but before I can walk away, Zade snaps. “Did I hear you right? You don’t carry sizes for real women?”

The saleswoman’s eyes go wide, and she stammers, “I... I didn’t mean—“

“You did,” Zade says, stepping forward. “I run my own businesses. I know what service’s supposed to look like. What you just pulled… you’re not just rude, you’re wrecking your sales. We walked in ready to spend; now we’ll take our money somewhere else.”

He gives me a nod, and we head for the door, leaving the saleswoman standing there, too stunned to respond.

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