Page 39 of Going for Three

I swiped up as a call came in. My mother wouldn’t stop blowing me up. I ignored every call and text because I had nothing to say to her. She was excited the news had finally been shared with the public. There were already potential brand deals attached to some of the texts and for some reason that annoyed me. She didn’t even ask how I was feeling about all of this. After reading the comments, I was feeling the pressure of how sudden everything seemed to the world when it was months in the making.

Hours later my phone was still flooded with a bucket of notifications every few minutes. Staring down at the maternity photos on my screen I decided to officially celebrate all the new things in my life. Vari sat beside me tearing up.

I chose my favorites from the photoshoot, creating a carousel post that included our elopement. For a romantic charm, I added Tink’s “25 Reasons Interlude.”

@americassweethart:It’s easy to judge what you don’t understand. I wouldn’t want to take this journey with anyone else. What may seem fast to y’all feels like destiny for us. A culmination of a million lifetimes returning to our minds at once, reminding us that our souls always were and always will be one. I’m holding your hand through any and everything. Cheering on the sidelines while you do what you do best. Baby, I love you with everything in me and can’t wait to welcome our son into that same cocoon of love.

Vari gave me a dramatic round of applause as the media immediately started to eat the post up. My comments were flooding with love, support, and niggas promising they wouldn’t mind being a step daddy if Kinga fucked up.

“I am so happy for you, friend. You deserve this.”

I tried to hide my smile. “Yeah, expect the nigga might be getting cold feet. He hasn’t called or texted.” I pouted, folding my arms over my chest.

Vari scooted closer before wrapping an around my shoulders. “I’m sure he’s fine. The media is eating him alive right now. His sponsorships are up for termination. He’s about to be a father and has already committed to being a husband. I think he should be allowed a moment to take a breath.” I frowned at him feeling like he was against me. He chuckled and tossed up his hands. “Wait, wait before you stab me let me explain. I know without a doubt that Kinga loves the fuck out of you. He’s given his all to your relationship but he’s human. You know the pressure he’s under. Trust he’s not out doing you wrong and only needs a moment to get his thoughts together. He’s a man that likes to lead. Sometimes they need silence in order to do that confidently.”

I wished everything my friend was saying didn’t sound so right but all I could do was nod. I also knew Kinga loved me. After reading some of the things people had to say about him, I could understand if he was somewhere questioning himself. I reached for my phone wanting nothing more than to talk to him. To assure him that he was already doing it and succeeding. Fuck what these judgmental people had to say. A lot of them wished they had the love we did. I sent a quick text then flopped backward on the bed.

Me:

Always on your side. Never forget that.

“I don’t thinkyou should do that, bro,” Jah warned me as I prepared to lift the blunt to my mouth.

I shrugged. “Chill. It’ll be out of my system before our next drug test. My life is fucked up right now. I need something to ease my mind.”

I inhaled the potent strain and instantly began to choke on the thick smoke filling my lungs.

Jah shook his head. “Virgin ass lungs. Give me my shit back.”

I continued to cough feeling as if I couldn’t catch my breath. “I thought coughing gets you higher?”

“Yeah, when you actually pulling. That little baby hit shouldn’t have you barking like that. You about to waste all my weed. Give it here, nigga.”

I ignored him and hit the blunt for a second time. My phone began vibrating beside me. I picked it up quickly, feeling like shit when I saw it was her calling me again. Jah laughed from beside me.

“Damn, your ass so sprung I don’t know why you’re ignoring her. You need to take your ass home.”

I ran a hand down my face. “It’s hard to explain. Everything in me is calling for her but there is this root of doubt I can’t get rid of. I don’t want to fuck up, man. Charmony is my dream girl. I’m not even sure I deserve her. I got to get my mind right first.” I allowed my head to fall to the back of the cushioned couch. “I don’t have a choice but to go back home. I’m miserable without her.”

Jah sighed. “Yeah. I’ve never seen you like this over a woman. It’ll all work out, but you have to be honest with her. Let her see into your heart. Your vulnerability will make her trust you even more. She’ll know you’re actively trying to be the best you can be for her.”

I shook my head. “I know you’re right. I just don’t want her to doubt me or think I’m weak. It’s only been like twelve hours, and it feels like forever. I’m going over there after this press conference bullshit Deb and Hurbert are making me do. I need to see her.”

He snatched his blunt back because my high ass had completely forgotten about it as thoughts of Charm flooded my mind. Even though she was pissed at me for posting the pictures, she was still texting to let me know she had my back. She didn’t deserve my silence and that’s why I was going to fix it as soon as the dust settled with the press conference.

The feed on my camera went live, lighting up my phone. I glanced down to see my father standing there. He glanced at the camera.

“I know you see me. I’m not leaving until we finish our conversation.”

I allowed my head to flop backward on the couch and sighed. The last thing I wanted to do was have a conversation with his ass. He was going to stand out there until his legs got tired because I was not letting him up in here. Picking up the remote, I intended to turn the volume up on ESPN to drown out his potential knocks on the door.

“Kianis… Open the door. I need to talk to you.” Hearing Deborah’s voice then seeing her standing beside him was the only reason I got up to go open the door.

I placed one hand on the knob and the other on the back of the door to brace myself. Eventually, I found the courage to yank it open to reveal them on the other side. Deborah took one step into my place and began fanning her face.

“Oh, God. Please tell me you were not stupid enough to smoke that mess.” She turned to me quickly with a panicked expression. “The owners are drug testing you. That’s what I came over here to tell you.”

I tossed my hands in the air. “Fuck!”

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