Page 40 of Going for Three

I’d forgotten all about my father being there until he started running his mouth. He chuckled drily, shoulders bouncing jovially and all.

“I told you.”

My body tensed as I clenched my fists. “Told me what?”

He straightened his posture and pinned me in place with a glare.

“That you’re just like me. I knew you were going to keep fucking up.” He shook his head as if he had the right to be disappointed in anyone. “First, you publicly announce your joke of a marriage and claim a baby that’s not even here yet. Now, you’ve gone and jeopardized your career once again.” He palmedhis forehead. “You better be lucky I keep myself up so I can piss clean for you.”

Hearing him explain exactly how I was like him rotted me to the core. I knew I wasn’t making the best choices right now, but he was the last one who needed to speak on it, not when he was a fuck up himself with nothing to show for it.

“I told you to stop saying that, and I don’t need shit from you,” I spat. “Since I’m such a fuck up, how about you and that miserable wife of yours get the fuck on. I don’t need y’all. Matter fact, I don’t even want y’all in my life. Don’t call and ask me for shit. I’m done.” Turning to Deb I asked, “When’s the test?”

She gulped, eyes jumping from me to my father who stood wordlessly. The tension was thick in the air as I tried to control my breathing, but his voice was too loud in my mind for me to be calm.

“This evening,” she finally replied.

I nodded. “Okay. Y’all can see your way out.”

Without another word or glance, I spun around and headed toward my bedroom. Slamming the door behind me, I sank to the floor and dropped my head in my hands. There was a part of me that wanted to take the cowardly way out, but I knew one thing to be true; I was not my father. That was how he would get himself out of this situation.

As my head fell backward on the door, all I saw was images of Charm when I closed my eyes—cooking… cleaning… smiling… Even with knowing my career was in jeopardy, all I wanted was to make things right with her. I was far from a perfect man, but I loved that girl with all my heart. I gave her parts of myself I didn’t even know existed until I decided I wanted her to be mine. When I told her losing her wasn’t an option, I meant it.

I ran a hand down my face, trying to settle my racing heart, but it was no use. I had no clue how everything was going to turn out. I had to find a way to be okay with that while knowingdoing the right thing was more important. One thing my father lacked was accountability. Lifting my head, I realized it was time to show him and the world that we were nothing alike. I was my own man. I was Kianis Kinga, Mr. Most Likely to Win, king of the motherfucking court, and it was time they respected it.

“I wantto thank you all for being here. There has been a lot of controversy surrounding my name recently, and I want to clear some things up.”

Running a hand down my face, I prepared myself for what came next. My heart was hammering against my sternum, and my breathing was a little choppy, but this still felt right.

“All I’ve ever tried to do was make a name for myself in the sport I love. But my talent has been overlooked more times than I can count for the entertainment of discussing my fucked-up family instead. I know I haven’t made it any better with my many mistakes, and I take responsibility for that. I’m not no cookie cutter ass nigga. I was raised in the fucking trenches and fought my way here today.

“It may look like I want to throw that all away, but I have no intention to. The owners have decided to drug test me, and I will fail it because I was trying to run away from the mess I caused. Moving forward, I want to be the type of man who doesn’t run from his problems. Whatever happens next, is out of my hands, and I’m okay with that. Now, there is one more thing I want to address, and it ain’t got shit to do with y’all.”

I inhaled deeply then stared directly into the camera. If she was watching, I needed her to know I was talking directly to her. She deserved a public apology after embarrassing her.

“I want to set the record straight that yes, I will be a father in less than ninety days. There’s no ifs, ands, or waits until the baby is tested that can change that. The life I’m building with you is the main thing I live for. I love basketball, but I realized I love you way more. I’ll give this all up to make things right with you. You’re all I need, Charm. You’re my heart.”

I felt myself becoming overly emotional, so I simply walked away—from the cameras, the pressure, the judgment… None of it really mattered anyway. So, I kept going until my heart led me exactly where I wanted to be… Charm’s front door.

Sittingon the floor in my bedroom, I sat there organizing everything we had for our baby boy. The countdown until delivery day was vastly approaching. Every day, I grew a little larger, and he moved around a little more. I placed a hand on my belly as flutters filled my core. He was always right on cue.

I had a feeling he was going to be active like his father. So, I spent a lot of time already praying for my sanity. I was excited, too. The thought of a little me or Kianis intrigued me. Or would he be the perfect mixture of us both? I tried to fight back my tears with a sniffle as I quickly placed the last set of outfits in the drawer I’d purchased to hold his things.

Walking over to the box with the crib, I knew it couldn’t be put off for much longer. Since my husband still hadn’t shown hisface, I decided to work on it myself. I had nothing but time, and it would give me something to do other than sit around thinking about him.

Glancing down at the rock on my finger, I entertained the idea of having to take it off if Kinga didn’t get his shit together. For some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. In a way, it’d become a part of me. Despite his silence, I knew Kianis loved me. I just think everything was changing too fast for him, and he got scared.

I couldn’t say I blamed him. This love shit could get scary. Not having the ability to control any aspect of it or the intensity of the emotions you got to experience… it really could be a lot. So, if that’s what was getting to him, I couldn’t even be mad because I understood. I just wish it didn’t hurt so damn much.

I attempted to attach one end of the crib to another and realized the instructions weren’t so easy to read. Tears welled in my eyes as feelings of loneliness pressed down on me. I wondered how much of this I would have to do alone if Kianis and I ended up separating in the future. My eyes drifted to my phone. I was almost tempted to call him when the doorbell rang.

I wiped away my tears, happy to escape the rabbit hole I was about to fall into.

“Who is it?” I called out as I was nearing the door.

I was already opening it by the time he responded.

“Your husband.”

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