Page 44 of Going for Three

I shook my head.

“It’s too soon,” I reminded him.

He kissed the back of my hand. “God’s timing, baby, not ours. If He says it’s time, we trust Him. You can do this. You were built for this.”

The intensity of his grip on my hand and the sincerity in his eyes injected me with the strength I needed to push.

Holding on to the man I loved more than anything, I pushed with all my might. I began to hyperventilate from the pain, but Kinga was right there to calm me down.

“It hurts,” I cried.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. It’s only temporary. We’ll be holding our son within the next thirty minutes. Keep pushing, baby. You can do this.”

I squeezed my eyes shut in time with my next contraction. I don’t know how long we played that game until a sweet, piercing cry cracked through the air. A shudder surged through me at the same time an orb of love spilled out of me.

“He’s here,” Kianis said in shock. “He’s here,” he repeated in wonder.

My son was placed on my chest, and sobs tore out of me. He was so fucking perfect with tiny hands and toes, a head full of curly, black hair, and chubby cheeks.

“He’s beautiful.” I smiled through my tears.

Kianis was right there admiring him with me. Both of our tears baptized our son as we celebrated his birth into this world.

Kianis kissed my forehead. “You did amazing, baby. I’m so fucking proud of you.”

His praise was music to my ears. A sense of peace swallowed me as I stared down at the life we’d created together. His every breath was a testament to God’s perfect will for my life. I wish I knew this would be the best day of my life. Maybe I wouldn’t have fought so hard against it. Because in only a few minutes, I couldn’t imagine life without my son, and he didn’t even have a name yet.

Kianis climbed into the bed beside me. I closed my eyes, feeling nothing but love as he massaged both of our heads with slow, adoring strokes. His head pressed against mine as he became more comfortable.

“I never want to be away from y’all,” he whispered hoarsely.

His confession blasted away the lingering dust mites of doubt crowding my mind. All that was left as we lie there was my undeniable love for him.

“Good because I don’t want to be without you either.”

I couldn’t look away.Over the last week, I spent nearly every waking moment either admiring my son or his mother. The two of them were my world, so leaving this hospital wasn’t an option. I’d missed multiple practices and two games, but it didn’t matter. All I needed in this life was in this room, and I wasn’t leaving until they did.

Leaning closer to the incubator I sighed, wishing he was in my arms. He was so tiny at four pounds that we were forced to watch him develop inside of his little cubicle. The truth that Charm had made me a father was still so surreal and probably would be until I got to hold him.

I was just happy that we were good again. I couldn’t imagine having to be away from either of them for any amount of timeduring this process. Charm just didn’t know it, but now that she’d fulfilled a dream of mine, I was never coming up off her. We were going to be together forever.

My vibrating phone momentarily stole my attention from my sleeping son. I lifted it to see it was a call from my father. We hadn’t spoken in a while because I was true to my word about cutting them off.

I stared at the screen, debating on what to do when I heard my son release the most innocent groan. I placed the phone down, knowing what he needed right now was to be surrounded by prayer, encouragement, and love. I didn’t even want to chance it that my parents would be unable to give him that. For the time being, there was peace here, and I wanted to keep it that way. Maybe one day I could allow them back into our lives, but for now, the distance was best.

I placed my forehead on the glass and said a quick prayer for my son’s strength. He was barely here for long, and the thought of losing him made my knees weak. I had to put my faith in God and trust He wouldn’t give me this beautiful family to take it away.

My phone began to vibrate again. This time, I saw it was Deb calling. After the press conference where I admitted I would fail a drug test then turning around and missing non-negotiable obligations, I knew the owners were not happy with me. But like I’d said to the cameras, I was okay with whatever the future could bring with it.

“Hello?” I answered her call and sighed.

Leaning back in my seat, my eyes floated up to the TV. I’d forgotten all about the game I was supposed to be watching because watching my son was more entertaining.

“Hey, Kianis. Do you have a minute?”

“Yeah. What’s the word?”

I looked up as the bathroom door opened. Charm eased from between the door in slow steps. I could see her discomfort in the way her face was scrunched up. Even though she was in pain, my girl was a trooper. I hadn’t heard her complain a single time since giving birth. It made me love and appreciate her even more. My heart swelled knowing she was everything.

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